Saturday, 31 October 2020

An Owie of the Heart.

This year is just beyond bullshit, hey? And after all these years writing my heart out online I'm just struck silent. Buddy says hearts don't break they bruise and get better so when my heart gets better I'll write better. Writing makes me feel better so I better write. It's taken me fifteen minutes to even scratch these pieces of words out because it's hard to scribe on a piece of shit broken android but I've been to refugee camps in Africa and slum piles in India where I met the most colourful beautiful grateful people who don't complain so I won't complain.

Things have been really, really fucken hard and I'm not even talking about my imaginary huge dick I'm talking about family and friends and loss of. Losing people who are still alive is a special kind of Owie. It's not like you've lost a favourite hoodie or a pet has gone missing or like that time when Bono's kite got blown out of control in the breeze. 

When we gather with the people who love us, they remind us of who we are. They remind us (in case we've forgotten) .. that yes, despite it all, we are still loveable. It's not like love grows on trees which I guess is probs a good thing because David Attenborough has just announced to the people of earth that Mother Nature has a sad heart too. At this point she just wants to shrug us off.

So much sad! And dark. But all the darkness in the whole world cannot put out the Light of one candle. Whatever we're going through, you guys ... we have to believe that good will always triumph over evil. WE HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT. Especially when we don't feel it. Need to use my candle as a defibrillator and restart my heart again. 

So, beautiful people. Hold on. Let go. Whatever it takes to get through, do that. Don't ever stop just keep going. Still here. Not finished. Sucked in arseholes who didn't win against me - close, but no Monica Lewinsky cigar. 

There's still blank pages that need inking and I'm not talking about my imminent neck tattoo I'm talking about not dying. I've been dying to see my new psychiatrist and when I did he asked me why were my eyes red? Umm, because I'm crying, Mr Fancy Suitcase?

Anyway I've gotta go before I punch this phone in the face and I've never punched anybody in the face. Copped a few but I always get back in the ring. That's how I roll .. the biggest weapons are our grit and our truth and being righteous. 

My biggest weapon? Words.

Chin up soldiers. Remember Spock's immortal line in Star Trek: "Where there's life, there's hope."

See you guys again soon I really, really miss you. Xx

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