Friday, 17 August 2018

I Accidentally Sold My Favourite Cowboy Boots For $33.

I listed a pair of my cowboy boots up for sale on a facebook group for $40 but I meant to put $140. Didn't realise my error until I was inundated, swarmed with YES PLS! SOLD! I CAN COME TO YOU RIGHT NOW? Plus quite a few dodgy DM's saying they'd pay more.

I thought what the hell is going on .... ooooohhhh shit. See I have this thing where if I really want a new pair of cowboy boots I have to sell a pair I already own except you know - NOT SELL THEM FOR FORTY BUCKS.

For some inexplicable reason I stood by my sale. I could easily have just said "Sold, sorry" and nobody would have known except me except I live with as much integrity as I very can .. it's integral. And it just feels good. So this chick (nervously) rang and said she was on her way over after getting the money out of the bank. She was the very first person to respond to the ad. I said $40, so she was coming over with $40. I wanted to cancel so bad! These boots have history. A lot happened when I was wearing these boots.

But I couldn't cancel, just couldn't do it to her. She sounded so excited ... even though these boots are the most expensive boots out of any I owned and the cost of postage from America to Australia basically doubled the price. I remember the day they got delivered to me by a courier back in 2014 and I was so defeated by my brothers suicide a few months beforehand that I didn't even open the package for a week until one of my sons said mum you gonna open these? I let him open them and just holy shit they were special.

I instantly named them my Poetry Performing Boots and at that point I hadn't even written a slam yet let alone perform one. But I did perform in them and I did it really well. Considering.

                Performing "Strong Bones" at the 2014 Australian Poetry Slam NSW Final

       Performing "Fuck That Tupperware" at the 2015 Imperfect Womens Conference, Brisbane.

They were magic boots, these grieving redemptive slammin' stompy brown and aqua babies. And I was letting them go for a song. WWHHHYYYYY?? Why? Because when the lady came to pick them up she told me she was going to get MARRIED in these boots. I teared up and hugged her and told her how special they were and now she was going to make them even MORE special. I told her I accidentally wrote $40 instead of $140. She told me she might base her entire wedding colour theme around these boots. I told her it was a sign, they were MEANT to go to her and she agreed and when she was digging around in the coin section of her purse I asked her how much did she have so far - she said $33 and I said that's cool, she can have them for thirty three bucks. She hugged me so hard and we talked for a bit and then she left.

I stood there on my front verandah thinking about how 33 is a special number, it's the age my brother was when he died. Last year I had one hell of a terrible scary nervous breakdown when I was in Glasgow. Went for a walk one night (wearing these boots) and found myself in a casino. Do you casino? I do NOT casino. It's boring.

I was at the roulette wheel and so paranoid and nervous I immediately had to leave ...  so put all the rest of my money on number 33. Everyone's like WHOAAA BIG SPENDER!! I wasn't even watching when the ball came to a stop and there was this massive commotion and people were congratulating me.

The ball had landed on 33.

I said "Oh my god I don't even PLAY blackjack!" And someone said it's not blackjack it's roulette. The manager was so cranky that I'd won he checked my passport three times. He asked what I was drinking (coke) .. he tried to get me to stay but I was OUTTA there.

With the money I was able to buy an emergency ticket home - the relief! Thank GOD I was able to get my bipolar broken self the hell out of Scotland.

So thats the story of the boots. Obviously they were born to be special. Life's pretty magical if you let it.

(I haven't bought another pair yet but when I do, imagine where they'll take me?)

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