Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Look Both Ways Before Crossing A One-Way Street.

These days when I cross a one-way street I look both ways because I trust nobody.

It's hard to keep our hearts from becoming bitter after life happens to us, isn't it? The vampires in the Vampire Diaries have this thing where they can turn their humanity off. To cope with the things they have done. I've been jealous of that, sat there on my couch trying to flip my humanity to zero but it just won't work. No wonder I used to drink so much. Cope with the myriad of bullshit emotions and traumas blah blah.

I'm in Katoomba Library, writing this. I shy away from this site a lot because I'm too shy to say everything because there's so much to say. There's this guy in front of me on the other computer who keeps looking at my tits. Granted, they do look pretty hot today because I have a top on which is the rich red colour of a flamenco dancers skirt. But I want to punch this guy for making me feel uncomfortable. This guy is about 60 years old with bad hair and 80's glasses and right now he symbolises every man who's ever leered at me and did me wrong in my entire life. I want to grab this guys head and slam it down on the desk, again and again until his glasses break and forehead bleeds. There's no security guards in libraries - hey to my knowledge there's been no "terror attacks" in libraries? It's a good place for it - all these people getting educated. Slutty wesern women with red tops on.

Ventured out today for a coffee. I forgot to wear underpants and couldn't find socks but nobody knows that except me. I should lean across flaying my cleavage to leery guy and whisper to him that I have no underpants on. Fuck him up make him stutter before I crush his skull can't help it it's the Harley Quinn in me.

There's toddler book reading downstairs and this lady is singing sweet lullabyes really loudly and it's so beautiful I had to put my headphones on to blast Florence into my ears otherwise I'd cry because I used to take Max to toddler reading book reading sessions when he was a toddler. I used to do a lot of normal things, for so may years. Was I pretending? I don't know. I'm in the library to print out dissolution papers and I think I just accidentally printed out sixteen copies lol.

After this I'll walk up to the courthouse where they know me by name and get them officially signed. Is the word "dissolution" derived from "dissolve?" Like an Aspro Clear. Maybe it's "de-solve" like, this shit will never be solved but fuck it all let's put this baby to bed. A relief, a re-leaf that I'm turning over spring is nearly here. Blossoms and stuff. Natures popcorn. When Max was four years old he looked out the car window and said "Wow .. look at the colours of the trees!" So I looked. It was autumn oh the trees were stunning, turning as red as my top. I'd never noticed the colours of autumn before - how could I go through my entire life and not notice autumn until my four-year old son pointed it out to me?

Shit I'm trying to find the right Beyoncé clip I want to put at the end of this post and it started blaring through the computer but I didn't notice because Florence in my ears and then I noticed and said 'FUCK SORRY.' The lady next to me visibly bristled. Leery guy looked. Whatever I'm too old to care anymore. Yesterday I couldn't even make it out of the house like a fucking complete loser. Breaking down again and again and again. Today I'm taking my friends daughter to Sydney to the premiere of Aladdin. I got free tickets so I'm kind of compelled to social media it ... panicking already because society but it will probably be good. Until the genie song and I'll probably weep for Robin Williams. I asked Rocco first if he wanted to come and he said no way it looked boring. His ability to talk bold and tell the truth astounds me. Wish I was like that at his age I probably wouldn't be so mouthy but hey, the world needs mouthy women with their mouthy mouths. Which reminds me, I never have to give another blowjob again for as long as I live. What a fucking relief.

I shouldn't write like this but trust me - I'm a limo driver. Jokes I never had a career but trust me anyway .. this writing is tame compared to the roar threatening to explode inside of me constantly.

Simmer down, Eden. Like the pea and ham soup you never make anymore.

I have no ending because things are infinite and never end. Which reminds me, this is an actual exchange between me and a company the other day:

"Dear Endland Team,
We'd like to send you some Father's Day products to review on your blog what's the best address?"

"Thanks I'm not interested. I'm Wonder Woman - I have no father. I was created by Zeus."

No reply lol. I do love how they called me the Endland Team, though.


Endland Team signing off but I'll be back because a winner don't quit on themselves HEY.

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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