Friday, 10 June 2016

Wild at Heart

                                                         Image: Jeff Davies

Hello so today I prayed by dancing in my kitchen with the headphones on boiling the jug on repeat for cheap coffee sachets that I just don't think I can give up right now. I've given up so much ... worst thing about losing your mind? Losing your mind. Best thing about losing your mind? Losing your mind. So I put my mind in the second drawer of the kitchen because we all know that's where household deitrus ends up and I rocked out to Florence. No bra, sweaty rivulets, pray-dancing. A person once commented here they have never danced to loud music by themselves in their living room and I was just sad, you need to do that shit. Letting go is sometimes the only way to hold on CONUNDRUM.

Siri am I the evil one? Am I the Dark Queen as opposed to the Light Princess? The answer is .. both. THE ANSWER IS BOTH oh sweet baby jesus what a relief. Such an eye-opener in Maleficent, the backstory of why she became the way she was. She had her goddamn wings hacked off. I've been complaining and blaming my whole life about having my wings cut off but standing on the precipice lately I looked back enough to see that I was the one holding the goddamn hacksaw, you want a revelation?

Slide down the snake again while simultaneously reaching for the next ladder, I'm my own worst enemy and my enemy needs an enema, flush the crap away.

Hey just for today I am so blessed I could burst into a million pieces right here in the kitchen and all that would come out of me is white lightning in the purest form. When she is down she is very very down but when she is good, shit gets AWESOME. I've only just realised there's no end to the deepest traumas in our lives. I kept waiting for mine to blend in with all the other colours but they'll always be there, present and accounted for SIR and all that's left to do is on certain days is putting your brain in the second drawer of the kitchen and dance. It's all just a dance and just thank you for it all, Universe. All of it, every single piece that makes me me. To get to the end of our lives and realise we've never lived at all is a tragedy I hit a fork in the road and went straight.

Got a fortune cookie last week when I was dining solo at Canton Chinese just down the road and it said "You are about to meet somebody very special." I did, it was me, have never been this incarnation before it feels extraordinary and powerful.

I feel everything no filter and guess what, it means feeling good too. I'm applying for a job as a factory worker - I'll be a factory worker. And when people ask me what I do I'll say I'm a factory worker. BE the factory worker you wish to see in the world. 

Best be off, have a shower and get ready for a Friday night with my Taylor homegirl cousins watching horror films and eating chocolate brownies. 

Here's Florence, the one I was dancing to in the kitchen. Her parents would worry that she was so different and strange perhaps she was mentally ill? Hell no. Freedom often gets confused with crazy. She's just wild and untameable and you should blast this song loud too because people like her are living proof that wings grow back.


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