Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Dog Acts.

I've been saying sorry and justifying my entire existence for my entire life. When I was a girl I'd get lost in books and fantasy worlds, anything to emotionally, mentally and spiritually escape the constant torment I found myself in. This - THIS is why I cannot write my life story out properly unless I omit huge chunks of my experience growing up in a family full of dysfunction, physical and psychological abuse, intense bullying. Irrevocably damaging that child for the rest of her life.

A "dog act" is jail term terminology .. the ultimate insult you can give somebody while you're inside. It's when you do and say something really low and cowardly against another person.

A dog act is addressing your six-page suicide note to your sister, dictating the next steps for her to take care of "all the particulars needed to be done" after you die from your own hand. Kind of makes her out to be complicit and feel like a murderer for the rest of her days on the planet.

A dog act is telling a person their feelings are not true or valid and heaping all of the family blame and shame on that person to make yourself feel better about your own darkness and your own shit.

A dog act is cooking and bringing food to another woman's husband and children while that woman is in a psychiatric facility for numerous mental health issues .. then wondering innocently while she gets so crazy down the track after uncovering deceit. Continually and repeatedly weaselling a way into that woman's family and bed. A dog act is befriending a person and sitting next to them offering support before she gives her first ever poetry performance, clapping and hugging but all the while with ulterior and shady motives, inappropriately talking about sex to gain information.

A dog act is punching your wife in the face while she's holding your young child and when they both fall to the floor, walking away and turning on the television in the next room. A dog act is saying nothing about it when your wife returns two weeks later after she runs out of money from staying in a hotel, wondering what the hell to do.

A dog act is telling a person their entire existence and role in a family unit for fifteen long years means nothing, that she deserves nothing, that she has done nothing and is not entitled to a goddamn thing.

A dog act is leaving a woman financially stranded, unable to obtain government assistance because her name is on six properties she is legally unable to visit. Purposely putting huge debt in her name while her name is nowhere to be seen on any houses. A dog act is waiting for a woman to crumble and fall down. To prevent her from seeing her children.

One of the biggest dog acts is using children as pawns in the biggest greediest dirtiest fight for control; to prevent a mother who is desperately trying to reconnect and make huge amends to her children after she admitted she was not a good mother for four months last year. Four months, out of fifteen years.

A dog act is sneaking into a mans bed in the middle of the night and having sex so loud while the mans children are in the next room .. the children can hear your moaning while your own husband is overseas playing music to the very best of his ability after undergoing the cruellest blow a talented musician could possibly face.

A dog act is flying to Melbourne and taking a woman to the very same hotel your wife picked out for you both previously as your own romantic getaway. Getting tattoos together without a care in the world. Going overseas .. continually lying about the relationship, using smear tactics, baiting and waiting for the crazy woman to react. Which she does. It's so easy to manipulate a person to the point of complete breakdown.

A dog act is using a person on top of their blogging game for your own personal gain and then shunning that same person later on when she falls and doesn't play the game anymore.

A dog act is blackmailing a woman who tried to help when you were homeless while she is at her very lowest, demanding money week after week after drawing her in by telling her that you could communicate with her brother on the other side. Sending her screenshots of her family business threatening she would never see her children again if she does not comply. Degrading her until she is so trapped she cannot break free until your very own kind father tells her to run. Run away.

A dog act is lining up with your sisters husband and giving him information to write his legal affidavit.

A dog act is forcing a person to question their own sanity and reality during a time she is fighting SO HARD .. and already questioning her sanity and reality.

A dog act is watching fireworks with your own children, standing next to a man who runs away when he sees his own wife and child watching the same fireworks.

A dog act is picking up your child from school in the middle of the day to preventing the childs mother from picking up the child herself.

A dog act is talking your way out of hot water after being arrested for assault, then turning the entire situation around to benefit yourself and your lover.

A dog act is spraypainting your husbands lovers car that is parked in his driveway in the middle of the night. Every single panel.

A dog act is having sex with your wife in September, pretending there is hope for the marriage while you're already with somebody else and have been for quite some time.

A dog act is getting the police to serve somebody with an AVO while they're staying in a facility to get better and then accidentally sexting her a filthy message meant for the other woman. Letting her live in a hotel for three weeks afterwards wondering where the hell she's going to live even though houses abound, in town.

A dog act is breaking a child down emotionally, treating them like a worthless piece of shit, bombarding them with hate and anger, violence and harsh words. It crushes a persons soul.

A dog act is being a fine upstanding citizen in the community conveniently leaving out the part where you were a raging drug addict and spent time in jail for serious armed robbery and drug offences.

A dog act is writing about other peoples dog acts, possibly making you the biggest dog of all but you cannot wear the entire shitfight by yourself anymore.

There's intense freedom when you have nothing left to lose after you've lost everything.

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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