Thursday, 30 June 2016

Chasing Asylum.

These grandmothers care enough to take it to the streets ... good old fashioned public protests are where it's at. Even more so now than before, because "raising awareness" and pressing the like button on Facebook doesn't really count for much.

They'd set themselves up outside Springwood Growers Markets on Sunday, I stopped and said good ON you all for doing this and literally taking a stand. We talked for ages, they handed me pamphlets to hand out myself and asked me to please join their Facebook page which I did while still standing there in front of them. You can find it here ... it's full of info and truth. The women weren't surprised that I hadn't seen the film Chasing Asylum as it's only on in a few selected cinemas by people brave enough to show it. The Current Affair "expose" was a manufactured veneer of the truth about the living conditions in Nauru and Manus Detention Centres ... the general public don't see the real story. Children are living in dirty tents and mouldy makeshift shacks. No toys. Utter misery, some have spent their entire lives there. Guards are issued certain kind of knife made to cut down the bodies of people who've hung themselves. The powers that be in charge of running Australia are breaking the International Bill of Human Rights.

I wish I could go there .. but one has to fork out a cool $7k to apply for a visa and if the application is unsuccessful there is no refund. And unsurprisingly there's no guarantee of walking around the place freely.

Chasing Asylum is the film the Australian Government does not want you to see .. has anybody seen it yet? The website and info on ticket sales is HERE. It's showing up here in the mountains at Mt Vic Flicks from the 15th - 17th July, and all around the country at selected cinemas.

The protesting grandmothers urged me to see it, urged me to urge other people to see it.

"We are grandmothers; we demand the immediate release of all asylum seeker refugee children and their families from detention."

Brava to them for taking action, petitioning local and federal government, and making their voices heard. People power is stronger and more effective than we realise.

"Chasing Asylum is a film made by Academy Award winner Eva Orner. It exposes the real impact of Australia’s offshore detention policies through the personal accounts of people seeking asylum and whistleblowers who tried to work within the system."

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Dog Acts.

I've been saying sorry and justifying my entire existence for my entire life. When I was a girl I'd get lost in books and fantasy worlds, anything to emotionally, mentally and spiritually escape the constant torment I found myself in. This - THIS is why I cannot write my life story out properly unless I omit huge chunks of my experience growing up in a family full of dysfunction, physical and psychological abuse, intense bullying. Irrevocably damaging that child for the rest of her life.

A "dog act" is jail term terminology .. the ultimate insult you can give somebody while you're inside. It's when you do and say something really low and cowardly against another person.

A dog act is addressing your six-page suicide note to your sister, dictating the next steps for her to take care of "all the particulars needed to be done" after you die from your own hand. Kind of makes her out to be complicit and feel like a murderer for the rest of her days on the planet.

A dog act is telling a person their feelings are not true or valid and heaping all of the family blame and shame on that person to make yourself feel better about your own darkness and your own shit.

A dog act is cooking and bringing food to another woman's husband and children while that woman is in a psychiatric facility for numerous mental health issues .. then wondering innocently while she gets so crazy down the track after uncovering deceit. Continually and repeatedly weaselling a way into that woman's family and bed. A dog act is befriending a person and sitting next to them offering support before she gives her first ever poetry performance, clapping and hugging but all the while with ulterior and shady motives, inappropriately talking about sex to gain information.

A dog act is punching your wife in the face while she's holding your young child and when they both fall to the floor, walking away and turning on the television in the next room. A dog act is saying nothing about it when your wife returns two weeks later after she runs out of money from staying in a hotel, wondering what the hell to do.

A dog act is telling a person their entire existence and role in a family unit for fifteen long years means nothing, that she deserves nothing, that she has done nothing and is not entitled to a goddamn thing.

A dog act is leaving a woman financially stranded, unable to obtain government assistance because her name is on six properties she is legally unable to visit. Purposely putting huge debt in her name while her name is nowhere to be seen on any houses. A dog act is waiting for a woman to crumble and fall down. To prevent her from seeing her children.

One of the biggest dog acts is using children as pawns in the biggest greediest dirtiest fight for control; to prevent a mother who is desperately trying to reconnect and make huge amends to her children after she admitted she was not a good mother for four months last year. Four months, out of fifteen years.

A dog act is sneaking into a mans bed in the middle of the night and having sex so loud while the mans children are in the next room .. the children can hear your moaning while your own husband is overseas playing music to the very best of his ability after undergoing the cruellest blow a talented musician could possibly face.

A dog act is flying to Melbourne and taking a woman to the very same hotel your wife picked out for you both previously as your own romantic getaway. Getting tattoos together without a care in the world. Going overseas .. continually lying about the relationship, using smear tactics, baiting and waiting for the crazy woman to react. Which she does. It's so easy to manipulate a person to the point of complete breakdown.

A dog act is using a person on top of their blogging game for your own personal gain and then shunning that same person later on when she falls and doesn't play the game anymore.

A dog act is blackmailing a woman who tried to help when you were homeless while she is at her very lowest, demanding money week after week after drawing her in by telling her that you could communicate with her brother on the other side. Sending her screenshots of her family business threatening she would never see her children again if she does not comply. Degrading her until she is so trapped she cannot break free until your very own kind father tells her to run. Run away.

A dog act is lining up with your sisters husband and giving him information to write his legal affidavit.

A dog act is forcing a person to question their own sanity and reality during a time she is fighting SO HARD .. and already questioning her sanity and reality.

A dog act is watching fireworks with your own children, standing next to a man who runs away when he sees his own wife and child watching the same fireworks.

A dog act is picking up your child from school in the middle of the day to preventing the childs mother from picking up the child herself.

A dog act is talking your way out of hot water after being arrested for assault, then turning the entire situation around to benefit yourself and your lover.

A dog act is spraypainting your husbands lovers car that is parked in his driveway in the middle of the night. Every single panel.

A dog act is having sex with your wife in September, pretending there is hope for the marriage while you're already with somebody else and have been for quite some time.

A dog act is getting the police to serve somebody with an AVO while they're staying in a facility to get better and then accidentally sexting her a filthy message meant for the other woman. Letting her live in a hotel for three weeks afterwards wondering where the hell she's going to live even though houses abound, in town.

A dog act is breaking a child down emotionally, treating them like a worthless piece of shit, bombarding them with hate and anger, violence and harsh words. It crushes a persons soul.

A dog act is being a fine upstanding citizen in the community conveniently leaving out the part where you were a raging drug addict and spent time in jail for serious armed robbery and drug offences.

A dog act is writing about other peoples dog acts, possibly making you the biggest dog of all but you cannot wear the entire shitfight by yourself anymore.

There's intense freedom when you have nothing left to lose after you've lost everything.

Friday, 10 June 2016

Wild at Heart

                                                         Image: Jeff Davies

Hello so today I prayed by dancing in my kitchen with the headphones on boiling the jug on repeat for cheap coffee sachets that I just don't think I can give up right now. I've given up so much ... worst thing about losing your mind? Losing your mind. Best thing about losing your mind? Losing your mind. So I put my mind in the second drawer of the kitchen because we all know that's where household deitrus ends up and I rocked out to Florence. No bra, sweaty rivulets, pray-dancing. A person once commented here they have never danced to loud music by themselves in their living room and I was just sad, you need to do that shit. Letting go is sometimes the only way to hold on CONUNDRUM.

Siri am I the evil one? Am I the Dark Queen as opposed to the Light Princess? The answer is .. both. THE ANSWER IS BOTH oh sweet baby jesus what a relief. Such an eye-opener in Maleficent, the backstory of why she became the way she was. She had her goddamn wings hacked off. I've been complaining and blaming my whole life about having my wings cut off but standing on the precipice lately I looked back enough to see that I was the one holding the goddamn hacksaw, you want a revelation?

Slide down the snake again while simultaneously reaching for the next ladder, I'm my own worst enemy and my enemy needs an enema, flush the crap away.

Hey just for today I am so blessed I could burst into a million pieces right here in the kitchen and all that would come out of me is white lightning in the purest form. When she is down she is very very down but when she is good, shit gets AWESOME. I've only just realised there's no end to the deepest traumas in our lives. I kept waiting for mine to blend in with all the other colours but they'll always be there, present and accounted for SIR and all that's left to do is on certain days is putting your brain in the second drawer of the kitchen and dance. It's all just a dance and just thank you for it all, Universe. All of it, every single piece that makes me me. To get to the end of our lives and realise we've never lived at all is a tragedy I hit a fork in the road and went straight.

Got a fortune cookie last week when I was dining solo at Canton Chinese just down the road and it said "You are about to meet somebody very special." I did, it was me, have never been this incarnation before it feels extraordinary and powerful.

I feel everything no filter and guess what, it means feeling good too. I'm applying for a job as a factory worker - I'll be a factory worker. And when people ask me what I do I'll say I'm a factory worker. BE the factory worker you wish to see in the world. 

Best be off, have a shower and get ready for a Friday night with my Taylor homegirl cousins watching horror films and eating chocolate brownies. 

Here's Florence, the one I was dancing to in the kitchen. Her parents would worry that she was so different and strange perhaps she was mentally ill? Hell no. Freedom often gets confused with crazy. She's just wild and untameable and you should blast this song loud too because people like her are living proof that wings grow back.


Monday, 6 June 2016

Street Talk: William The Worldchanger.

Do you like talking to strangers? It's pretty cool, the conversations you can have with people when you're open enough to listen. William told me he could change my entire world in two minutes.

The other day I was at Katoomba library at closing time and I hadn't finished yet. Twice I was asked to leave, by very friendly staff members. I picked up all trailing messy accoutrement that follow me everywhere I go (objects so annoying) .. and went outside to loiter in the hallway next to the public toilets. The cleaner asked me to leave, so I went outside in the freezing and sat down on concrete. Shout-out to concrete for being more cold and hard as we get older.

So I'm there finishing something on my laptop as if my life depended on it because probably at the time it probably really did feel like my life depended on it. Can't even remember now. Obviously my life didn't depend on it after all. Odd saying, "life depends on it."

I was there riding solo and suddenly this guy appeared out of nowhere, huffing and puffing so loud. Muttering, willing himself up the hill. It's a bitch of a hill, that one. He was kind of chanting, talking to himself in the third person. (Or second person? I get confused.)

"Come on William you can do this one more step just one more step."

I watched him. I watch people a lot. He grabbed the railing right next to me, poised. We were the only people there and he looks over to me and and asked me who I am.

"Eden. Well, Eden is just my name. It's not who I am."

Things are more than their labels. William said my name a few times, like I used to say it to myself as a kid, laying in bed trying to go to sleep. You ever say your name to yourself so many times you end up spinning out?

"Well Eden. I know things. I know so many things I could tell you and can change your whole world in two minutes."

BEAUTY. So I get all ready for my world to change in two minutes wouldn't you? He cleared his throat. People walked by, stepping out of his way because William was the kind of stranger you give a wide berth to. It's better not to talk to people like William - odd people, could be on drugs, could be just crazy or drunk or violent. Something to definitely be wary of. Couldn't tell if he was homeless. He was in a rush to catch a train somewhere.

"My name is William Grey. But you probably won't remember that."

"Yeah I'll remember that." I piqued his interest because I was listening. Seemed like he hadn't been listened to in a while.

"I've got all the answers to the worlds problems."

It was pretty cool to finally meet someone who had all the answers to the worlds problems. Old people and young children often have a lot of the answers too.

He stalled for a while and didn't say anything. I waited expectantly for my whole goddamn world to change.

"Um. Ugh. I have to go. I have to go now."

I said ok. We kind of looked at each other with so much to say but he had a train to catch with his bare hands and I had to finish writing something that my life depended on. He looked as wistful as I felt. He would have been in his twenties. Nice clothes. Dreadlocks. Backpack on his shoulder. Strange aura.

"Eden, it probably should have been really nice to meet you."

It probably should have been really nice to meet you.

That sentence was so beautiful that later on I text it to myself. We said goodbye to each other and I was so struck by this guy walking through the world. I snapped a photo of him walking up the street,  if you zoom in you can make him out up there near the Carrington, between those two white poles.

It's possible that William can change somebodies whole life in two minutes. Not my life, on that day. Somebody else's. All the answers to the worlds problems can most likely be covered in two minutes because life is probably much more simple than we realise.


(I started Street Talk in January 2013 with the intention of doing one a week. Then all these Things Happened and life went careening off its axis like that scene at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark when all of those freaky spirits come out of the Ark and melted all the people's faces like molten lava, etc. William is number 42 .. we'll get there. Better late than never.)

Previous Street Talks:

1. Noelene the Young
2. Megan the Mouse
3. Harpal the Australian
4. Darren the Artist
5. Jo the Interesting
6. John the Telstra Guy
7. Michael the Photographer
8. Peg the Lady
9. Jeff the Preacher Man
10. Andres the Cobbler
11. Honey the Prostitute
12. Mark the Masseur
13. You the Blog Reader
14. Jo the Podiatrist
15. Casey the Uni Student
16. Dream the Horse and Carriage Driver
17. Tamas the Hungarian Accordionist
18. The Dignified Trolley Ladies
19. Alex With The Studded Hot Pink Belt
20. Leaf The Fallen
21. Bel Of The Library
22. Jay And His Big Issue
23. Emma The Adult Shop Cashier
24. Teena, Saver Of Dogs
25. The Luna Park Face
26. Gary The Missing
27. Kristen at the Elephant Bean Cafe
28. Uncle Paul
29. Jess The Mama
30. The Two People At The Checkout
31. Alfie The Pourer
32. Breaking The Rules With Captain Starlight!
33. The Woman In Line At The Bakery A Few Weekends Ago
34. Dog The Dog
35. Julia Gillard The Person
36. Nancy The Badass
37. Bruce From The Psych Ward
38. Jeremy The Costumeless
39. The Women in the Morgue
40. The Lady Whose Name I Didn't Quite Catch.
41. Eden

Thursday, 2 June 2016

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