Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Not Even The King.

I don't care about a lot of "stuff." I'd be happy with one small house and fresh food and board games (YES REALLY) and talking to each other instead of watching television.

I used to only ever wanted to be happy - but happiness is not a given. We are not owed happiness in life. Took me years to work that out. And these days, all I want to feel is ok. That's all.

I don't feel ok very often.

The response to my post yesterday overwhelmed me deeply and just thank you so much - for your kindness and truth. This whole thing has really sent me into quite a bad spin and I've been grappling with it, trying to make it go away in my mind. Writing about it yesterday helped a whole lot, and that's what I wish for everyone - the freedom of expression in all forms, without the fear of judgement and criticism and hate and HOW DARE YOU DO THAT.

I had a strange few days last week - ended up in Sydney for a few days, completely unplanned. I just got given an opportunity and took it. Why not. I walked around a lot - SO many memories there for me, mostly bad. But when I scuttled back to my hotel late at night with my Coke Zero and pretzels, looking forward to watching TV shows all night because THAT definitely makes me happy .... I noticed all the tents set up up in parks?


Homelessness in Sydney was never that bad in the nineties. I talked to a lot of people - it's just what I do. I'm a curious cat.

I just care. I think the answer to life is not gold or riches or possessions or showing off or being perfect. It's to give - and give, and give, to others. As much as you can. That's the answer.

So while I'm trying to "get on" with things including the recent separation with my husband after fifteen years, moving into a new house, trying to study - I'll give. Because I'm selfish and giving makes me feel good.

I'm hoping to get through the next bit ok. Don't know. Things have been extraordinary hard, but I'm trying to step up.

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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