This is me having a literal smashing end to the year, picking pieces of glass shards out of my bra drenched in fancy mineral water for new years eve. Goodbye 2014. I won't miss you ever ever ever again. You have been the cruelest beast I've ever come up against and the beauty that's been ripped out of my heart and been replaced with nothingningness may one day be replaced with something ... magnificent. Who knows. I didn't lose hope when I should have, way back.
Still here. Still.
The boys and I said goodbye to the VERY wonderful Rydes Southbank Brisbane and checked into Chez Daley for two nights. She put me to work straight away - yesterday was the bedroom situation but today was the folding which was good because I had one of the biggest breakdowns today I've had all year and I NEEDED TO FOLD THE WASHING. I now understand why women do craft. I need some kind of emergency craft kit.
We went out shopping for groceries, leaving the kids with Megans husband. It took a while, for that grocery shopping to get done.
Megan from Childrens Books Daily and I would NEVER been such incredibly close and bonded friends had our brothers not killed themselves. I adore her. The world works in strange and mysterious ways.
Took the boys to the museum and this co-ordination display IRRITATED THE CRAP OUT OF ME until the boys were BEGGING me to give up.
I don't like to give up. But sometimes you have to.
And then somebody accidentally dropped a FULL cup of coffee on the dog and poor Tyson is already an anxious kind of canine but I cleaned all the coffee up just laughing so, so hard. Imagining all the exhausted people, the fights, the sad, mad glorious, incredible, full-on moments people are having right now. All around the world.
This year has been beyond hard. I actually prayed for a better one at a recovery meeting tonight listening to how people live their lives purposely, appropriately, with patience and calm and joy and hope. Clearly.
Never have I know such pain. May next year be kinder, for many of us.
And now, please to enjoy one of my thirteen-year old magnificent sons favourite songs.