Thursday, 8 January 2015

Edenland - A Memoir.

For a long time, people have been telling me to write a memoir.

"You NEED to write a memoir Eden!"
"Why haven't you written a memoir yet?!"

Because I wasn't ready. I'd start, write a few bits and pieces here and there and I have files of chunks of jumbled words. I never knew where to start. I never knew I could write the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me god.

But I can. I'm ready now. The death of somebody you love so exquisitely blows you open in so many ways it's hard to explain it unless you've been through it. And facing that death - full-on, in the face, and being brought to my knees time and time again from the pain and the whys and the love and the desolation. Some people don't work through their grief. Some people don't work through much, in their lives. They just pay their bills and die.

Out with the old, in with the new. I'm going to tell the world everything that happened - because if I'd written a memoir a few years ago it would have been diluted.

My memoir will be shocking and full-on. Because that's the life I have lived. We've all got one story, our own story. So it's all coming out this year. All of it. And people may judge and talk and whisper but the only people whose opinion I value is my boys. I don't care what the world thinks of me anymore. I'm free.

Really free. The death of my brother has set me free. How does that happen? Life is a trip. I'm not off dulling my pain or not facing up to my stuff. Maybe you were right, Cam. Maybe I was the strongest one after all.

2015 - the year of the Edenland memoir. I'm not fucking around here I'm slamming this shit out like water from a tap it'll be that easy and quick.

Thank you my brother, for the very painful, very vital lessons you are teaching me. My life began when you were born. My life has not stopped because you are dead. I hope you get to feel my feelings - I hope you get to feel all my emotions and what it feels like to live life DEEPLY.

Step into this with me my Cam, my bro. I need you. I really, really need you.

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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