Monday, 3 November 2014

A Thousand Bucks Says You Can't Air Guitar With Your Mouth. (International Lip Synch Awards Update.)

Basically I'm getting a *little* tired of Marshall pretending he doesn't know I exist I mean come on.

What do these photos prove? (Besides the fact that I have manlier hands than Eminem and we're both in the illuminati?)

They prove that we both dig music, man. To be human is to love music. It's in us, the beat. In every single one of us. I'll never forget the first time I went to a recovery dance party (literally recovery - no booze, no drugs) .... and I danced in front of people completely sober for the first time in my life. And other people danced too. And we all had an amazing time and remembered it the next day. This world is determined to chip away at us, bit by bit, at our humanity.

I refuse to be chipped. Well actually I'm so chipped there's no parts of me LEFT to chip. Dave asked me how I was the other day and I told him that at this point I'm basically just a facade with some scaffolding behind me and a wheezy heart like that penguin in Toy Story 2 but I don't even pump blood anymore, just ash. Dave just laughed. So did I. Hey do you know that this life will not last forever we're all gonna die someday ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL!

Anyway so it's been two weeks since I launched the Inaugural International Edenland Lip Synch Awards. Are you in? Be in. I got paid some insurance money from Cams death, isn't that charming. Your brother killed himself - here's some money! I rang Dave with the "good" news and I could hardly get the words out. That's what my solicitor said when he rang me - "Eden, I have good news!"

I don't want suicide money. I want my brother to live a long and healthy and successful life, not successful in the worldly sense but successful in his heart. That's never going to happen gee I am SO CHEERY today, welcome.

I'd love to share with you some people who have already entered the awards. I love these people LOVE THEM. Be an idiot. Let go. Let music help you let go. Who cares. One day you'll be dead. My 12 year old son is judging - could YOU win a thousand bucks cash just by lip-synching? Do it, film it, hashtag it, upload it, leave it in the comments or on Facebook or your blog or anywhere. Dave reckons he's going to get Tim and a bunch of guys from work and do The Village People singing Macho Man - naked, just wearing toolbags. Can you beat that? Can you?

Emily from Have a Laugh On Me (EMILY I LOVE THIS SONG)

Lila Wolff with two F's and no E from Mama Nourish BEING DOMESTICALLY FANCY

Cheryl (and her kids) from A Bit of Bliss and Mayhem ... now's about the time I start crying during the construction of putting these entries together. I just realised why I've been putting it off. You people are simply beautiful. You got me, pow, right in the heart.

  Mrs Woog even got in on the action with some smooth, smooth whistling. Air whistling!

And have you met her son Jack? I have. Many times. He is ADORABLE. This is the first time I've watched his entry - why is watching all the entries so hard? I did not anticipate how I'd feel, watching them. This is magnificent - this is what happens when a child is allowed to express himself, be real. Oh my goodness.

Jack you beautiful boy. you brought me to TEARS. You keep being real, beautiful little man.

Nathalie from Easy Peasy Kids - Nat, of COURSE you entered you gorgeous thing.

Um, a guy called Chutney Popcorn uploaded this and I'm in love with him now?

KHALI! You  made me laugh so much. Thank you - TOP song choice, this is going to be Roccos favourite by far.

Amanda from A Cooker and a Looker - SHE WENT THE DISTANCE. She is also a cooker AND a looker.

Ok so Kirsty and her brood of ex-pats living in Qatar? BOUGHT RED WIGS AND BLACK GLASSES FOR THEIR LIP SYNCH. Max is going to find this very, very hard to judge. (I love you guys.)

And her cousin Bianca from Big Words gets into the action with an AROUSING rendition of Sweet Child'o'Mine. (I always wanted to lose my virginity to this song. Failed. Kids, don't read that.)

The gorgeous Alison Asher who has entered MULTIPLE TIMES. You're in with a great chance, Alison, also ... I adore you xxxx

Does everybody know Clint from Reservoir Dad? YEAH. He's pu-retty cool, fanging it with a Total Eclipse of the Heart.

This is not even all of them yet! I promise to upload every single one - you have killed me with your generosity and kindness and hilarity. I seriously have to go right now - be some semblance of a mother and cook some item of food situation - oh look what I did just then after crying for most of the day and doing a recovery meeting and crying some more.

"For all the times, I let you push me round, let you keep me down now I got
Guts. Over fear. Guts, over fear."

You can enter as many times as you like. A cool one thousand, cash prize. Entries close November 15th SHARP! Do it! Not to win - do it to let go, have a bit of fun. Be an idiot. Who cares, let it out. I'll be showing more vids in a post soon so make sure you let me know when  you upload them -

It's been a ride, watching what you guys have come up with. Remember - this is my version of suicide prevention.

I wish, how I wish my brother stopped giving a crap what other people thought of him, stopped being so trapped in his head. I absolutely hate how black everything is now. I wish he could have let go. Then he wouldn't have had to let go.

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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