Friday, 5 September 2014

Let's Never Try This Again.

Last night Max and I were curled up on the couch spending some quality time together - nose-first in our computers. I tut-tutted crankily about something and he turns to me with that beautiful face I know so well. "What, mum?"

So I told him.

"Well, there's a new Spider Woman comic and the image of her is so, so offensive and disgusting and it just makes me so mad that you're twelve years old and already your head has been filled with graphic sexualised imagery of women fed to you by our society and our culture. It's a load of crap."

He asked to see it and I showed him - but I didn't just show him the image by itself, I showed him the image next to an image an artist from The Oatmeal has drawn to illustrate how SpiderMAN would be drawn in the same way.

Am I slut-shaming a comic? Siri, what is feminism?

Max was just as horrified as me at the first image, and man we both laughed at the second one. Especially when I zoomed in.

We talked about double standards. I told Max that as he grows up, I want him to respect women. That he might be surrounded by all this crap but he is ALSO surrounded by a mother who is also a woman who is also quite tough and will tell him continuously that women are more than their boobs and bums. And that sometimes he might be at a party and a girl might be so drunk that a guy might take advantage of her but I want him to be the guy who calls a cab and gets her home safely, even if she gets into trouble with her parents.

"I will, mum."

Then I made him follow The Oatmeal on Instagram because come on.

We both bid each other good night and our bedrooms are partitioned by just one wall and I kept shouting out "MAX IT'S SO ITCHY" until he was all, "Will you shut UP MUM!"

Dave has been up at the Central Coast all week but is back tomorrow. So I had to text him a photo last night to prove that I am feeding the kids vegetables while he is away, so known am I for my bachelor ways. I had a grumble to him about Fathers Day and its associated bullshit for me, told him I am going to make him something yummy for dinner and the whole day is just about HIM. He took it one step further.

"Hon, I think we should re-name it .... call it Davo's Day."

YES. So, happy Davo's Day for this weekend for the dads. Fathers Day doesn't quite have the trite bullshit sentimentality as Mothers Day but it comes close. Fuck it to hell, is what I say.

Dave and Max, circa 2004

A brand-new reader here called "Gigglesfollow" left a link on my last post to a YouTube video because she already knows how much I love eating burgers. GOOD burgers. I did a little digging from her video and unearthed this. THIS is how I feel every time I eat a good burger.

  "I WISH YOU COULD SMELL WHAT I'M SMELLIN', YOU TUBE. Peep game, on the fry. Let's hone in, on the crispedy crunch - of that french fry. You bite the fry, the fry bites back. THAT'S when you know you have an official french fry!"

Four minutes and fifteen seconds in - right there. Right there. And then: "Do you want to know the difference ... between a weak burger, and a burger that has strength?"

This post is all a mask for how I'm truly feeling, because how I'm truly feeling is so boring and relentless and I just need to laugh. I desperately need to laugh, do you? As we head into a weekend I could do without .... what's your favourite go-to funny video? Hit me up. I know there are some pearlers out there that we all need to see. I'll go first in the comments, with a video that is in my top-five favourite funny videos of all time.


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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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