Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Inspirational Arsehole.

Oh hey you guys I just wanted to check in and make sure you were ok. Because there's a lot of stuff going on inside and outside of ourselves that's a bit freaky and tricky.

Yesterday I had to take a walk in the rain and came across this beautiful ramshackle shed and thought how perfect it was.


Us humans are just works in progress, that's all. That's cool. My boys arrived home from school and there were cupcakes. Max unpacked the dishwasher without being asked and Rocco showed me the picture he drew at school.


"We had to draw something local mum so I drew the Three Sisters see their dad is on the ledge, waving to them? I made a paper airplane out of it but then I got into trouble. Can you please google Katy Perry Roar so I can watch it but DON'T sing mum."

I'd made the best slow-cooked beef stew with chickpeas and chillies and stuff I chucked in straight from the pantry. Dave loved it. I made pancakes for dessert and Rocco cried because it was past his bedtime but I made him one this morning and we were in a rush so I put it on some tinfoil and he ate it in the car on the way to school, said it was the best pancake he'd ever had please can I make some more?

Dave left me a note before he left for work early.


He's being doing those smiley faces on his notes for the entire time we've been together, fourteen years. And signs his signature on everything, even birthday cards.

DETERMINED to track down those elusive Bushells strong tea leaves today, I took the note with me straight after school-drop off. Bought all of his things he wanted, I like that he spelt Chia correctly but he PRONOUNCES them Chai just to piss me off. I abhor spelling mistakes and mispronunciation but have learned to live with them and love them, actually.

So before I had any coffee or breakfast or even put a bra on, I found myself in a shop trying on jeans that would not fit. Skinny jeans, babygirl jeans, boyfriend jeans .... are you shitting me right now? I just want jeans.


I used to be a size 8, now I'm a size 14 and as my friend Shae would say WHATEVER BRO. I just need jeans that fit, have been wearing the same black ones I bought for $12 from Temt (THEY FORGOT THE "P!") for two years now and they're all bent outta shape.

Went outside, put my hoodie and sunnies on down the big hill outside of the library and a guy walked past me and said "I'm too old for hills like this" and I was all "Me too!" and he laughed and said "yeah but you're only 21" and I REALLY laughed and then I a bit cried, from his kindness and spontaneity He's a well-known busker in town with a bit of a facial deformity and an AMAZING voice. I've put heaps of gold coins in his hat, over the years. We're all just human you know? Being all humany. We're just fucking human.

So now I'm home writing this before I have a shower and yes, wash my hair ... to see if you're ok. I am. Even though every morning for over nine months now when I wake up there's this brief window before my life hits me right in the face with "Your brother is dead." Except this morning it was my brother AND Robin Williams and jeez, hasn't that outpouring of loss spread out across the world? I don't think people who take their own lives have any idea of how their death will affect the ones left behind.

You know something awesome? I have never seen Good Will Hunting. I've always meant to but never got around to it. I'll hire it this weekend from my favourite shop Civic Video Katoomba after I pay off some late fees and watch it with my boys and it will be good. What a legacy Mr. Williams left behind, what a beautiful body of work. What an incredible man.

The Best Tribute To Robin Williams Yet

And lastly by the way if you ever wanted to know what Gods voice sounded like it's right here in the depths of Bonos throat at the beginning of this song and he's not even forming proper words.




I love you, Computer. Keep that spark warm today because it's fucking cold outside.


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