Friday, 6 June 2014

Street Talk: The Woman At The Eyebrow Threading Counter.

I let my eyebrows go to seed. It had been SO long since I had them waxed that I could actually see GREY EYEBROW HAIR. A beautician I'd never been to before managed to fit me in, score!

She was right in the middle of waxing when I looked up and suddenly noticed her eyebrows. My heart sank. They were two perfect little slugs, no style or shape just straight across like lines. Unsurprisingly, that's exactly how mine looked when she finished. How could I make such a rookie error? I've been getting my eyebrows waxed for over twenty years, you'd think I knew a trick or two.

So I had to grow them out, as long and as bushy as they could get, praying she hadn't wrecked them forever. Last week I was down at Penrith Plaza and I noticed a new eyebrow threading place right in the middle of the thoroughfare. I took a before pic and went and sat down.

                                            Sad and wispy

A womans eyebrows are a very important thing, more so as we get older. I'd never had mine threaded before, and I was nervous. The threader was all business, no-nonsense, and BOSSY.

"Sit. Put your head back. More. MORE. Hold this. Pull it tight. TIGHTER."

I had to help? As soon as she began threading, some random lady came over and just started a running commentary of what was going on.

"Ooooh, it really works! She's really getting in there!"

I didn't mind her watching. It took my mind off the uncomfortable feeling of getting my eyebrow hairs pulled out by the roots by a woman who showed no mercy. None. IT KILLED and made me want to sneeze.

The random lady started laughing because the hairs got caught in my nostrils so I had to kind of blow them out unceremoniously. She made me laugh too.

"The things we do for beauty! Are you getting yours done too?"

She told me she was, that her sons engagement party was next week and she had to do something with her eyebrows. She confessed to being a serial plucker in her teenage years and she'd plucked them nearly all out. I was dying to have a look because they sounded really bad but first I had to wait while my torturer finished. Waxing takes it all off quickly but threading is a sustained pain, because she shapes and counts as she goes. When somebody starts talking about eyebrow lines, you know they know their shit.

Finally she finished threading and put the dye on. I got the opportunity to look at my new friends eyebrows and I couldn't help but tut with her. They were dismal and looked beyond hope, but she took her seat anyway. She talked me through what she was wearing to her sons party, I suggested shoe colour. She winced and it was my turn to laugh.

When I went and sat back down and waited for the dye to take hold, it dawned on me. I AM GETTING INVASIVE AND UGLY BEAUTY TREATMENTS DONE TO MY PERSON IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERY BUSY SHOPPING CENTRE.

Curious people looked as they walked past while I sat there looking like Mario about to rescue Peach from Bowser.

I cared for a little bit, then let it go. I really do not give a shit what people think of me at this point. Fuck off, I'm old and I'm grieving.

My new friend stood to leave, I was in AWE at her new brows!

"They look amazing! Good on you ... and have a great time at your sons engagement!"

She was so happy. After we said goodbye, the eyebrow threader lady asked if she could ask me a question. Of course!

"Did you know that woman?"

I laughed and told her no, just met her now. It reminded me of being at the beach or park when I was a girl and making firm friends with somebody and then never seeing them again. It was cool.

                             And after!

I FEEL SO POWERFUL RIGHT NOW. I bet this is how Claire Underwood feels. A chick could rule the world with eyebrows like this.

Do you pluck, thread, or go natural? (Please tell me you don't shave.)


Previous Street Talks:

1. Noelene the Young
2. Megan the Mouse
3. Harpal the Australian
4. Darren the Artist
5. Jo the Interesting
6. John the Telstra Guy
7. Michael the Photographer
8. Peg the Lady
9. Jeff the Preacher Man
10. Andres the Cobbler
11. Honey the Prostitute
12. Mark the Masseur
13. You the Blog Reader
14. Jo the Podiatrist
15. Casey the Uni Student
16. Dream the Horse and Carriage Driver
17. Tamas the Hungarian Accordionist
18. The Dignified Trolley Ladies
19. Alex With The Studded Hot Pink Belt
20. Leaf The Fallen
21. Bel Of The Library
22. Jay And His Big Issue
23. Emma The Adult Shop Cashier
24. Teena, Saver Of Dogs
25. The Luna Park Face
26. Gary The Missing
27. Kristen at the Elephant Bean Cafe
28. Uncle Paul
29. Jess The Mama
30. The Two People At The Checkout
31. Alfie The Pourer
32. Breaking The Rules With Captain Starlight!
33. The Woman In Line At The Bakery A Few Weekends Ago
34. Dog The Dog
35. Julia Gillard The Person
36. Nancy The Badass
37. Bruce From The Psych Ward
38. Jeremy The Costumeless
39. The Women In The Morgue
40. Ross From Knucklehead Shipping Co

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