Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Things You Don't Find In Parenting Books.

Rocco walked into my bedroom a while back when I was lying on my bed, mustering up some energy to take him to the park.

He was chatting to me for a while, and absent-mindedly opened my bedside table drawer. We both happened to look down at the exact same time. Sitting there on top of some books, without a care in the world, was his first tooth.

Everything happened in a spilt-second. I suddenly remembered throwing it in there in the middle of the night, thinking, "I must get that in the morning and put it in an envelope."

Obviously I did not do that, and here we both were, staring at his tooth. Roccos belief in the Tooth Fairy was dangerously in the balance. So I did what any other person would do in that moment - picked it up and quickly popped it in my mouth.

"Mmmmm. My mint."

He didn't believe it was a mint.


"Tooth? Oh no sweetheart that was my last mint. To keep my breath fresh."

He ordered me to open my mouth and show him. I said no. He was getting pissed. I started to taste the blood that was in his tooth because it'd started to die before he pulled it out.

"Ok CRUNCH it then."

Because I'm scared of my five year old, I grinded his first baby tooth against my tooth to give the illusion that I was eating a crunchy mint. NOM!

Can anybody guess what happened next? Yeah. I fake swallowed my toothy mint.

But accidentally swallowed my toothy mint.

I ate my childs first tooth. Felt it go all the way down.

"What's wrong mum?"

"Nothing mate I ... ate too many mints."

I'm just going to leave this story here. It's been a while now, so I know that I don't have the tooth in my body anymore. It would have been dissolved or - something other? I'll have to save his second tooth in an envelope and pretend it's his first.

 Sweet, gorgeous Rocco. Thank you for forcing me into life. Even if it is to eat your teeth. GAG xx

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