Other times I add up how much longer I'm going to have to take care of them and do all their cooking and washing and shepherding and I think, no! They can never leave me, ever, ever!
This morning during breakfast, apropos of nothing, Rocco came out with,
"Mum what happened to your real dad?"
I don't believe in lying to my kids about true things like that. Not altered, not rose-coloured.
Max looked on, already knowing.
"Well mate, he drank too much and he died."
"No sweetheart he drank too much wine and beer and kept falling over and hurting his head. He got a big bruise on his brain and he died."
Rocco looks up from his porridge, incredulous. "WHAT? Well, he should have just stopped. Maybe he just liked it too much."
I told him that yes, he liked it too much and would he like to see a photo of his "real" grandfather? I showed them. Max has my dads physique - tall, lithe, and strong. (Really, really hope my boys don't have his drinking gene.)
Then Rocco said that Ma must have married Grandad after that and I kind of squirmed and said, well mate, there was another stepdad before Ma married Grandad.
Then it was time to go to school THANK GOD because I really didn't want to explain suicide to a five-year old before I'd even had a coffee. He turned to me and said "Mum, what did grandad die of again?"
"Cancer sweetheart. Some people die from cancer, and some peoples cancer goes away."
"Oh ok. Seeya."
Skipped outta the house without a goddamn care in the world.
Recently there was silence in their room. GREAT they're obviously playing some contraband game left here by Tim. I did the stealth sneak and quickly opened their door to find ......... craft?
"I'm just making something for Rocco, mum."
I backed out, couldn't BELIEVE they were doing craft. After a long while, Rocco came out with this on his face.
A superhero mask! Oh my heart! It took Max an HOUR to make it, Rocco wore it once and then threw it off.
I picked it up. Might get one of those box frames for it, to remind me that my children used to be young.