Tuesday, 2 July 2013

A Bout.

A few months ago in the mental health unit a new girl arrived one day and nobody wanted to talk to her. We were all too busy being fucked up. I had a little chat with her before I slumped into my bed in the middle of the day like I always did. She wasn't actually a girl - maybe in her early twenties with thick short brown hair. She walked around like a lost puppy.

After dinner we were all watching television and she got up to go to her room. Five minutes later she walked back into the common area completely starkers. Naked. She walked past us all and then came and sat next to me. I kept watching TV. Some people sniggered. I felt sorry for her. One of the nurses came straight over and held out her hands.

"Come on sweetheart, we don't do that here."

They walked off in search of clothes; soon she came back out like nothing had happened. She reminded me that we all need to be seen. I wonder if she's ok. I wonder if anybody from in there wonders if I'm ok.

I've been so frail I almost broke again. Nearly had to go back in - twice. Didn't. Success!

Somebody told me to just stay alive. Somebody else said to just let go. Something struck my forcefield so hard and for so long. Still. It's not the black dog - more like the black plague.

It's impossible to think ones way out of the human condition.

Today I sat outside and felt the warmth on my back for the first time in a hundred soul years. How amazing is the sun? And the moon - if you have a problem or feel bad, wait for night, then go outside and stare at the moon.

The sun makes you feel alive again, but that moon? It tells you who you are. It sees you. Everybody needs to be seen.

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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