Books and Burgers, Baby.

Ok I'll try write this post like a normal person but I can't promise anything. I should just upload the pictures and write a few filler-words and nobody would be the wiser but where's the fun in that?

*THROAT CLEAR*

My husband Dave and I started the day off with a fight, and almost booked flights back home. We regrouped, managed to pull back from the edge, and walk outside.

Into New York.

Are you sick of all the New York posts everywhere yet? Yes? Well, let me tell you something ... NEW YORK STINKS. Literally smells like garbage. And it's way busy and terrifying, everybody freaks me out, I keep waiting for a terror attack but it doesn't happen so I get *another* day in the world!

I'm done with the shopping .. the stores never run out of stock so people just keep buying. I'm tired. I miss my kids so badly it hurts, and it's been exactly twenty days since my stepfather Jim died.

I think what's really helping me keep it together over here is the fact that I can't believe he died.

My brain can't compute it properly.

Jim would not have liked New York one bit.

But I'm pretty sure he would have LOVED her library.

We found it today by accident and walked on in.

"A good Booke
is the previous lifeblood of a
mafter fpirit imbalm'd and treafu'rd
up on purpose to a life beyond life."

The most magical building I have been in ... ever? Gave me hope in everything again. All of the people with all of the books.

It smelt like salt of the earth. Like real. The past and the future in one.

I looked up and in the middle of this stinky, loud, overcrowded, polluted city .... was this.

The clouds looked down at me looking up at them and I wondered where Jim went and I cried.

Dave said, "Why are you crying hon?" I didn't answer. Saying it out loud makes it more true.

With a renewed spirit I walked outside and there was the Empire State Building. Like, we just totally kept accidentally finding these cool places. It's not every day you stand on the pavement and say to yourself ... shall I go up the Empire State Building today? We went in. Lined up to buy tickets, lined up to join a line, then lined up for a lift. Soon, I felt like a line. All of the people annoyed me. Especially the close-standers. You know when you're in a busy line and the people behind you think that if they stand as close as possible to you, the line will move quicker? THAT. I showed Dave my stand-sideways-and-jut-the-elbow-out trick that I employ in the grocery store back home. He laughed.

One and a half hours later we stood on the observation deck

Not bad. But I really just wanted a burger. We lasted five minutes but I took one photo to prove that I went up there. In future conversations I can say, oh yes ... I've been up the Empire State and it was FABULOUS.

Back downstairs we fell inside a comic book store. It soothed my soul like the library .. I was a huge comic book kid as a young girl. We bought some stuff for the boys.

I loved all of the dorks in that shop, and I can guarantee that none of them would be a close-stander. Dorks know their boundaries.

Next stop was Five Guys. Not bad, but it's no Burger Joint or Shake Shack. My armfat gives it three stars.

I directed Dave into this pose, told him he needs to be more animated in life.

Told him that he is married to a female Jim Carrey who is way over the top with her animations and sometimes when I'm all excited about something, explaining it to him and he doesn't respond appropriately? I feel sad. And hurt ... and a little angry.

"It makes me not want to tell you things hon."

(Man I could never be married to me.)

He's on the case.

We got back to our hotel and I felt better. We swapped over our hotel last week because our first one was so lame. This one is much more us ... a little beat-up, not fancy at all.

In conclusion ... I'll never forget the library today. I need more burgers but not more shopping. I have some hard-hitting posts coming. I'm jealous of all you people at home ... and if you're jealous of me it means we're all jealous of each other and nobody is happy. Maybe we should all cut a deal with ourselves, accept where we're at? My grief throws itself around me like a knife and it's inescapable. I think I might go outside for a walk. Buy a cigar and smoke it in the hot night air.

Bows. Walks offstage.