It was a decent hour. The things on my bedside table were uncluttered, not dusty. Constant house inspections have me on top of my game in the housekeeping department, and it feels GOOD.
My table seemed to hum with a certain energy. The silver bangle Dave bought me from Mexico. A cup of herbal tea in my yellow recovery mug. (Still unchipped!) Favourite lip balm, the Anne Lamott book that three different people have told me I need to read. And the bunch of flowers are from Rocco ... we walked past a florist in Katoomba, he runs up to the bunches, pulls one out and gives it to me.
"These beautiful flowers are for you mum." So I went in and bought them, for me. From him.
A sweet-smelling votive candle, a nude from a local artist .... it just felt so damn wholesome. Like I was treating myself with care.
Some nights I stay up way too late and eat crap on the couch like a boss. Some nights I go to bed early sipping on organic chai tea like a lady. It all has a direct impact on how I feel about myself. I learnt the value of taking care of myself years ago, way back in early early recovery. I find myself continually re-learning it, over and over.
(Haven't actually read the book yet .... a trashy magazine fell into my hands instead. I'll get there.)
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Now for some blog housekeeping.
1) Kelly Exeter has chosen a winner of her Smile Collective print. Nina Downes won with this entry in the giveaway: "Hi Kelly - my favourite line in your wonderful manifesto is "Perfection is not practical or possible" I just wish I could learn to live by this. I'm struggling so badly to accept in my heart that there is just no way my life can or should be how I imagine it must be in my head. I have built up a vision of a perfect mother with a perfect family and I know deep down that this vision cannot be achieved yet everyday I beat myself up for not achieving it. I have long admired your manifesto and know I am probably a prime candidate for having it on my wall and taking all the words in! I admire your Smile Collective crusade!"
Congrats, Nina! Kelly is offering 20% off everything in her shop until midnight on June 30 for everybody. (Just enter the code EDEN12 after the Paypal part.) Um, may I suggest Kelly's Manifesto For Youth? WOW.
2) My latest post on MamaPop ... Young People Getting Piercings And Tattoos. YAWN.
3) I felt nervous about my post yesterday because I didn't want to be seen as judging another mother's parenting choices. Then I just owned the fact that I judged another mother's parenting choices. I don't do it often, but MAN. And no, that lady was not having a bad day. If there was a bad day competition, *I* was having a much worse bad day than she was.
4) THANK YOU for your continued concern about my stepdad Jim. He is sitting up in bed! Mum says he is doing much, much better. SO BLOODY COOL. I can't wait to see him again.
In the meantime, I'm taking my kids to see Brave today. A strong red-haired female character who can fight her own battles and does not depend on a man? Yes please!
Utterly, hopelessly in love with these guys so hard.
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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell