Thursday, 19 April 2012

Killing Kermit

The other day I took my boys to the annual Royal Easter Show. They were fighting and it was raining, but I took them anyway. We all needed to get out of this stinky house and have some goddamn FUN. 

So we trudged in, spent thirty-seven dollars on gozleme, bought tokens, went on rides. Rocco whinged, cried, and ran off. We lined up for rides he didn't end up going on, then wouldn't eat his lunch because he didn't want to share. Eventually I strapped him firmly in his stroller and told him that I brought him here to have a good TIME. And he was now not allowed OUT of his stroller. He seemed happier in there, anyway.

I stood up to find other mothers looking at me as if they'd never spoken to their children in a cat-strangled voice before. Quite frankly, I've had enough of being judged this week.

We went to my best and favourite part of the show - the cake decorating.

Hey Magneto Bold ..  this one is for you!

Walking back through the kids carnival I saw some awesome Kermit's lined up. I said, "Max, can you please win mum a Kermit?"

He says, "Sure mum."

So he walks over and wins his mum a Kermit.

Coolest thing ever! I was so proud and impressed ... my guy has a hell of an aim.

And then, I looked at the above photos and I thought .... oh my god who killed Kermit?! HE'S DEAD.

We decided to get him home as soon as we could. On the way out, I witnessed a harried mother tell one of her kids to get in the stroller .. they didn't and the stroller fell over and ALL of the show bags fell in a puddle. The beautiful strains of a cat-strangled voice came from her lips, and I was not alone.

Max and I now affectionately refer to Kermit as "Dead Kermit." Like, "Hey mum .. where's Dead Kermit at today?"

Max tried to see if he could kill Kermit more ...

... but then felt bad. he tried to bring him back to life with a little CPR.

So it's been a bad week. What with a dead frog, naughty children, absent husband, amongst ... other things.

I'd like to thank Samsung for the tickets to the Easter show, without which I wouldn't have gone. Because I'm broke. They also gave me a Galaxy Note to keep, which is awesome. (I've been using a phone with a cracked screen for four months now.)

Rocco and I used the Galaxy to call emergency services ... but Kermit was gone.


1 comment:

  1. Bahahaha. I would have to sleep with one eye open with that creepy Kermy around. Dude, he's huge!!! Those cakes were fantastic (in my next life I would like to do that for a living). We allll do the high pitched cat voice in public. Those shameful people who judged you probably save it for behind closed doors, which I think is worse. Love how little Rocco is Max's shadow.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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