I've done research on how long it takes for bodies to decompose in their coffins, down in the ground. Wanted to know if my fathers bones still existed on the earth. He died in 1984, so I'm pretty sure he's dust now. My stepfather was cremated after his suicide in 1988. Over and over I visualised his skin melting, his wooly hair alight.
Many, many funerals later ... I often wonder how I want my own funeral to be. Maybe I should write something and leave it in my computer in case I die suddenly ... for it to be read out in front of all my mourners mourning. Or if I die slowly from cancer in hospital, I'll write something *so amazing and profound* for my funeral but I'd have to get a nurse to come and read it out because she wouldn't be close to me so she could read it without crying and I want people to understand it.
Often I hear a song and I suddenly think THAT'S IT ... that is my new favourite funeral song. There's been many, over the years. Nick Cave's Into My Arms. Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah,
And it all depends on how I die anyway. If it was from, say, a hypothetical overdose? U2's Running to Stand Still. But a nice, comfortable and unoffensive car crash? U2's cover of She's a Mystery to Me. Trapped in a burning house? Eddie Vedder's Rise.
Sometimes I picture requesting an incredibly inappropriate funeral song. Like RUN-DMC's "It's Tricky." Because that would not make any sense.
But life never promises to make sense, does it?
There's the chance for a few songs on a funeral playlist anyway. One as the coffin arrives at the church, one halfway through the service, and then one as the coffin gets picked up and carried out. (Sometimes you can get an extra one squeezed in at the gravesite.)
As of today, the 10th February 2012, my chosen funeral song would be this.
The delectable Florence and the Machine, "Shake it Out."
".. and all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn."
What is your funeral song? Do you think about it? Are you terrified of death too - like, TERRIFIED? I'd love you to tell me, for the second Fresh Horses Brigade. Please feel free to either leave a comment or link up. Button code is below. My Mr Linky box will be open all weekend EUPHEMISM.
PS Is this entire post offensive? Maybe my brand is "Always ruining her own brand."