Winning your own giveaway is like winning the pass-the-parcel at your birthday party. You get excited but you just *know* you can't keep it.

I'm very fussy and protective when it comes to this blog, so it's rare that I do a giveaway. When I was asked to do the Nikki Gemmell/Sony Reader one, I jumped at the chance. The main reason was the subject matter - difficulties in marriage and motherhood. I'm having difficulties in my marriage and motherhood, so it was a *great* fit. Shit's tricky, even for the together normal people.

The comments on that post were incredible .. one hundred and eleven. And they weren't just quick ones, they were well-thought out slices of your lives. That's kind of amazing to me. I remember when I first started blogging, I'd get three comments. Sometimes even nine. Anything over ten and I had MADE IT as a blogger.

I wish I had one hundred and eleven Sony Readers to give away but I don't. Tonight I sat here with a cup of tea, and punched "Between 1 and 111" in random.org ... up came 72. It's the year I was born - it's a sign! So I counted up to 72, to find that I had won my own giveaway. Suck it Sony. I'd commented twice, once to say thank you for your comments and then next to say, "Now I'm gonna win my own giveaway." And I did. I'm a goddamn oracle.

Graciously, I decided to release my Reader back into the mix and drew again. Comment number 74 is Kate from Kate Says Stuff  "That which looks perfect and enviable from the outside never ever is. You only see what people choose to show you and you can only ever find peace in your own soul, not by virtue of anyone else's."

WORD. Kate, email me your home address and I will post you the Sony Reader. (I won it first, but I didn't open it.)

Second winner was for an overseas commenter ... it's Kirsty from 4 Kids, 20 Suitcases and a Beagle

Kristy once wrote a blog post called The Head Prefect .. and mentioned me. I have never forgotten what she said .. "Eden has had enough drama for a bad reality TV series."

Not just a reality TV show. A BAD ONE.

Her comment was number 33. And it was gold. "I was sitting in the school cafeteria with a child by my side, we were waiting for 3 other children to finish their "activities" so we could then drive them home for an evening filled with afternoon snacks, homework and dinner preparation. I was bored and sitting in a freaking high school cafeteria. Without thinking the words ... "lucky I feel good about myself otherwise this soul destroying existence could really get the better of me." .. came out of my mouth.

That was me earlier this week.

There's a different me today - later in the week. I'm happy that I had the choice of motherhood. I'm happy that I gave up working full-time, I'm happy that I'm writing.

I float constantly between the ups and the downs. I'm either loving it or hating it or just getting on with it. I don't think there is eternal contentment.

At this very moment, on my street there is a Filipino woman outside washing her employers car, she will walk their dog, wash their clothes and take their child to the park. Her own children are back in the Filipines, she see's them maybe every 2 years, she sends money every month. She watches me drop my children to school nearly every morning and waves and smiles as I drive past.

Today, I'm happy. Tomorrow I may stab my husband in the eye with a fork over breakfast."

Kirsty send me your address in Qatar and I will post you the actual copy of the book, like, from the olden days.

Thank you to everybody who entered. It's softening this tricky time for me, knowing you are all out there. With your own stuff. Especially in this lead-up to Christmas and my husband and I navigate our way through living in separate houses. (Bad reality TV series.)

(See what I did there? You just got a bombshell, if you read all the way through this post. JUICY HUH?)

Bring on Eminem tomorrow night, is all I can say.



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