Sunday, 23 October 2011

Seven Highlights from the Problogger Training Day you simply CANNOT afford to miss out on reading. (Is *that* SEO?)


I probably should write a recap of the Problogger Training Day, but I've never been one for "shoulds." I felt incredibly self-conscious the whole time I was away. Usually I can swing it, and am ballsy and talk to everyone, but this time I was so shy and kept looking at the ground when I walked through the sea of people.

The sea of people stayed for post-conference drinks. I was keenly aware of the rising crescendo in the room. The tension being let out, the edge being taken off. I asked for sparkling mineral water but they didn't have any so I drank orange juice out of a tall glass and felt stupid. I had to get out of there quick smart with nary a goodbye to anyone.

The day itself was great ... Darren has achieved so much. If I were his mum I would be proud of his beautiful heart, above all else.

                                     Darren, are we related?

Most sessions were informative, I always love meeting up with bloggers. We are a mixed bag of lollies. Some were posturing wankers who would look straight through you, but most are beautiful and friendly.

In one session, I felt like I was doing my blog all wrong. Who *is* the blog co-ordinator of the world, anyway?

Walking by myself out into Melbourne streets, my soul caught its breath. I looked for Bat Baby again.

                                        I love him and I don't know why.

Took a photo of this really cool ladies toilet. It would be a great image for a blog post on being a woman. There are blog post inspirations all the time, from things out there in the real world.


I found my hotel completely by accident, went inside and just sat there. Scratching my metaphorical balls.

Cool things I took away included:

1) Taking a photo of my water bottle penis getting hard for Shae's pink Cons.


2) Listening to Mrs Woog on her panel. The woman cannot pretend, which is why so many people love her. She called SEO "SAO's." She brings a beautiful sense of irreverance and fun to the Aussie blogosphere. Her secret to success is not wondering what her secret to success is.

3) Meeting the team from L'Oreal Australia with Nikki on Thursday. They are all so glamorous and beautiful. I ate two macarons and two cupcakes, while they all ate nothing. At one point I said, "My GOD you are all SO BEAUTIFUL! With your cool jobs in your awesome building! I wish I was like you in my twenties. I was too .... busy."

4) Managed to strike up conversations with two amazing bloggers I didn't know before - Lady Smaggle and Rhi from Hummingbirds Song.

5) Valerie Khoo machine-gunned advice and inspiration towards me in under ten minutes, which she should probably invoice me for. She is the founder of Sydney Writers Centre. I first did a course with her five years ago, it was so nice to see a friendly face.

6) The Social Media for Social Good Panel with reps from World Vision. They are actively seeking to work with Australian bloggers. (Twitter is HERE.)

7) Seeing #OccupyMelbourne tent city for the first time on Thursday, by the time I got back there on Friday to talk to them all, they had been arrested by riot police and a huge wire fence had been erected. I asked a copper, "Did they go quietly?" And he ignored me because he was a prick.

                                  They did not go quietly at all.

It's midday and I'm still in my pyjamas. Dave will be home with the boys any minute, I need to get up and look productive. I miss them so. Who am I, without them? Last night I had the house to myself for the first time in years, and ended up eating pizza in bed and watching a series of short horror films on SBS. Felt sure I could hear my murderer hiccuping in the closet, but I was wrong!

I'm so often wrong, and it's such a relief.

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