Friday, 7 October 2011

Fighting in the Dark

Let the moon be your therapist, and the sun be your guide. When you're doing the hard yards, in life ... you're not alone. Somebody has already been that way, sprinkled a trail of fairy lights for you to follow.

This vlog annoyed the hell out of me, to do. So self-conscious I took five takes, in the end I thought fuck it, just ad-lib. So I did. It's a bit blurry, which is ok. Sometimes, so am I.

It's dedicated to you - yes, you. The one who needs it most.

Interview with the founder of RUOK Day, Gavin Larkin on Australian Story HERE

Sidenote: When RUOK was trending on twitter, I kept reading it as FUOK. Which is still funny.



  1. Good on you Eden! Great vlog, and you're absolutely right. Life is full of ups & downs, but that means we are still alive. I'd take that over a flat line any day!

  2. And sometimes all it takes is a little bare chested boy giggling in the background to remind us that inside us still , along with the crap, is innocence, joy and open heartedness.


  3. Eden you are such a brave and inspiring soul. That point where you said you were looking at other people on that sunny day and wondering why you couldn't just be like those people, I've felt that feeling of being 'disconnected' and its such a hopeless and lonely state to be in.

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I have your email if ever I need you to watch my back. And you have mine.

    Thank you. xo

  4. Great post Eden. I too am a master of bullshitting myself. The times when I have finally relented to admit "I am not ok" have also been those moments when I've realized what true relief feels like. Your Vlog made me well-up! On a positive note. You look hot!! Love the hair and are u rockin' a summer bod?? Lucie x

  5. I was NOT ok on RUOK Day and I still pushed myself to appear ok, to be selfless and ask others if they were and really listen.
    I was not asked ONCE on RUOK Day or even since then if i've been ok.
    It hurts. A lot. I put myself out there a fair bit, but I can't talk about everything there is to me. Hard as I try, I can't talk to anyone about some things. But even though I would have replied with "Yes I'm ok thank you for asking" it would have meant the world to me to just be asked.

  6. great vlog! You are brave and charitable to post this about your battles. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and its a lonely place when no one wants to open up and share their stories.. thank you for sharing yours xx

  7. Thanks, Eden. I realise that much/some of this stuff can be hard for you, and that you've experienced dark endings without end. However, you are shit h-o-t. You really have it together when you do; the rest of time, you're muddling along, like the rest of us. Yet, even then, you share - that's what makes us human.

    Love you, babe, and thanks heaps.

    You're family (much better than, actually).


  8. Thanks. You're a legend. Good work girl.

  9. I have been living with depression & anxiety (along with panic attacks and all the other fun friends that accompany these conditions) since I was a teen. Back in my day, we did our best to sweep everything under the carpet & put on a happy disposition for the benefit of others. Well, that carpet gets very bumpy when you keep hiding things under it, until the day you fall flat on your face and have to start dealing with the mountain of crap inside & around you.

    I too often wonder what it feels like to be happy go lucky & shiny on the inside. I like that it's not taboo to discuss our mental fragility so openly now. But I still struggle with being comfortable about it all. Thanks for sharing hon. Loving your little man Rocco. My 17 yo used to look so similar way back when. Sigh.

  10. That was really ... lovely? Can it be lovely? I liked it, is that a better way to say it?

  11. Thank You Eden
    That was great - Like a big hug :)
    Best wishes & a hug right back at you.
    From one mum and (also imperfect human being!) to another xox

  12. Hi Eden,
    Long time reader first time commenter. I really enjoy your blog & lately a lot of them have hit home.I am living with a box of tissues and a snot factory raging in my sinal passages.So from one sick mum to another Thanks for the great reading.B.

  13. Thank you Eden. FUOK. You are ace. x

  14. You're always brave - even if you're not OK.

  15. 7 Cigarette Lighters, High Platform Shoes & A Good Bullshit Artist.
    What I would do, to hear more over a very big glass of something xx

  16. Those other people enjoying the sun, they bullshit themselves too, we all do from time to time.

    LOVED this vlog,especially the guest appearance from Rocco

  17. First post of yours Ive 'read' and what an introduction. Brave, honest bold and compassionate. Very real. Thank you.

    Ask and you shall receive; keep calm and carry on; just keep moving (I use that one with my teenagers); and pick up the phone and call Lifeline or equivalent.



  18. I totally agree with you. I will probably take your advice and ask my mom if she is okay. Lately she has had some depression problems and the littlest things really can make a big difference and a lot of people should think the same.

  19. Very kind and very thoughtful Eden.

    I feel sad for you on that day. I have a friend, like you. 10 years ago, we put her in against her will, when I stole her car keys to prevent her doing what I could see she wanted to do in her eyes. Heartbreaking to see her broken like that. It is one of the worst moments of my life.

    She took many years to regain her life, and now is so mesmerized by life and its beauty.

    I just cannot write it all here, I will send you an e-mail if thats ok?

  20. Strangely, I think it's only a month in NSW - when I was searching for info to write copy (for work) regarding Mental Health Week, I stumbled across info for Mental Health Month in NSW. We could also do with a month in Posytown - we've had the highest rates of suicide here in recent years. But I digress..

    As I have said elsewhere - I wish you could see what we all see. I'm sad that you feel embarrassed regarding things you've been diagnosed with over the years... (I say this, but I'm a wimp & struggle to talk about my own demons) You are brave. And amazeballs. And we all love you.

  21. I used to think life was a mountain and then I would feel discouraged when I could never reach the top. Now I know it is rolling hills and valleys and oceans. Life is all of it.

    Rocco is lovely. So are you.

  22. I couldn't do my RUOK post either. Read into that what you will.
    I am OK, today. Some days I am big and brave and talk the talk and walk the walk... blog the blog.
    Some days not so much. But that is life. And I like it.

  23. Haven't you come a long way from that sunny day in Bondi... xx

  24. Eden, this post.

    Makes me angry I did not grab you by the arm, and say, COME ON.

    I had you at BlogHer, why did I just assume I'd see you more.

    I didn't..

    After Thursday, I didn't.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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