Monday, 17 October 2011

Corn handlebars and the colour blue.

On the weekend we rode to a cafe near the beach and I ordered eggs on toast. I received these instead:

                   I cannot ever get away from ballsacks.

Sniggering like Beavis I said - "Dave, Dave ... what do these look like to you?" He answered with "pigeon eggs." Which left me feeling sad - couldn't he see what I see? I took a photo, which annoyed him more. Then I realised I was a 39-year old woman taking a photo of her eggs in a cafe because they looked like testicles, and I thought, what is wrong with me?

But I uploaded the photo to twitter anyway, because I just KNEW twitter would be more appreciative. Isn't this what social media is for?


Thank you for your comments and love on the Ambi Pur post. After two hours of it going live, the lovely lady in charge of the actual real Ambi Pur campaign called me. She told me that the first time they watched it, they were all ... where is she going with this cat?? Then they watched it a few times and there were sniggers all around the office. I imagined an office full of professional, beautiful, glamorous PR people watching me on rollerskates, and kind of died a little. I assured her that while it was not conventional, every person who saw it would definitely notice Ambi Pur more in the cleaning product aisle in the supermarket. She agreed.

The boys and I were at the Beach Bong House on the weekend, and had a surprisingly good time. No fights or major meltdowns by anybody. Dave bought Rocco some special corn-eating tools.  Rocco shouts with glee: "CORN HANDLEBARS!"

Walked to a local restaurant and ate the best meal since that awesome pizza in New York last year. I impressed Dave by writing to him upside down, so he did it back to me and I laughed and took a photo and he kind of sighed.

Until I told him if he starts calling me Eben I will stab him.

I know he will start calling me Eben soon.

The food was so delicious, we ordered entrees, mains, desserts and coffee. This is what the boys looked like by the end.

                 Annoyed as hell.

This is what they looked like the next day when I bought them toys and lollies and took them to the park and the beach:

At the exact moment I took this photo, Rocco was happily doing a wee in his pants.

I love seeing quotes out there in the real world, like a message straight to my heart.

"Life only demands from you the strength you possess. Only one feat is possible ... not to run away." - Dag Hammar Skjolo

In my current incarnation, I'm trying not to run away. Feels like I'm rebuilding myself back up again, for the 3,479th time. When I was stretching on the beach yesterday, the horizon looked like this:

The sky was holding the water up. It's important to look at the world from different angles. Remember the teacher in Dead Poets Society, telling students to stand up on their desks so they could see the classroom from a different perspective?

All the different shades of blue were like a depression colour chart. I wondered which shade I was. Until I heard the boys laughing at me and I realised I was exactly where I needed to be ... at the beach on a warm day with my feet in the sand and my bum in the air.



  1. OK.

    Woman, dear, just what I needed: a good laugh.
    And, yes, take it to twitter: she is more appreciative!!

    Sending you an email: I need your support..

  2. I saw the eggs and thought they looked like giant sperm...

    love the quote, may have to borrow it and write it on my white board where I can see it everyday for a while. I do crap like that - on my mirror it says OMG you are awesome!! and Chill the ef out!

    you are so lovely... x

  3. You ROCK!
    have a great day, Eden

  4. I wonder if I can recreate my own egg ball sacks at home or if it's just a cafe specialty.

    The perspective scene from Dead Poets Society changed my life. I think of it so very often. In fact, I was talking to somebody about it last week and then someone else mentioned it on the weekend. That's synchronicity.

  5. Dag Hammerskold was the 2nd secretary-general of the United Nations, he was a pretty awesome dude. Imagine being called Dag! That 'shame' e-course is really helping isn't it.


  6. Those eggs were definitely modelled on a very pale scrotum. I also get well and truly scoffed at when seeing the ridiculous and photographing it - you never know when it might be brought up!

  7. Lades I totadles saw the ball sacks. How could you NOT take a photo of them? Stupid Dave, what would he know?

    I love this post for all the random snaps and the little insight into what you've been doing. I miss you in a totally no stalker like way. x

    Also, I forgot to post on the Ambi Pur post but the use of toilet and NOT torlet? Not lost on me my friend x

  8. Corn handlebars, just adorable. Love that Rocco was smiling and peeing at the same time, multitasker with a knack for coming up with awesome utensil monikers! Legend. Like his Mama. xo

  9. I love that in the space of a week you were able to amuse me with a picture of your jeans wang and then an egg ballbag.

    I might be 24, but I have the mind of a 13 year old boy.

    Love x

  10. I would have laughed my ass off at those eggs. Too freaking funny.

    Tell Rocco that I love corn handlebars too.

    LOVE your beach picture from a different perspective.

  11. I love that you wrote about looking at things from a different perspective. I needed to read that today xx

  12. It's all about perspective, isn't it?
    Mine's in the gutter.
    I saw balls.
    Lovely smooth, tasty ball though.

    Um, so much to love here today.

  13. Love.

    Ballsack eggs are my fave kind, by the way. Stabbing them is so satisfying, isn't it? or is that just me?

  14. You tell your Ambi PR pals that when I was in the supermarket yesterday happened to glance up and see them. I would have walked straight past but instead stopped, had a good look and a giggle at you in your roller skates. Its now on next week's shopping list after we return from holidays x

  15. I can't speak for your maturity, but I laughed my fucking ass off at your ballsack eggs, and I totally would have thought the same and done the same.
    That being said I am *ahem* 25. Grow up Eben!

    Love the last pic and the thoughts you had with it. Very very true, and something I needed to hear right now. I need to stop for a while and take the time to breathe in and change perspectives.

  16. as usual lol :)my ex was kind of anal about poached eggs, so I looked at the photo and went- wow perfect poached eggs. sad huh?!

  17. Dear Eben,
    photos of testicles that look like they are floating out to sea are truly under-appreciated by the general population. They probably wouldn't appreciate you eating them either.
    Thanks for the laugh!
    I'm hungry now...

  18. yep, thought they looked like nadsax too, before scrolling down and being gladdened that someone else in this cold dark world sees thing like this too

  19. Yeah I get the testicle thing, i went to the big marino and just had to take a pic of giant sheep balls... As for quotes, they are the perfect way of expressing yourself through someone elses wisdom :)

  20. Odd. I would totally have thought Dave would be one to start comparing ball sizes. That's what my husband would have done.

    Love your upside down perspective.

    Of course Ambi Pur was taken aback at your video - they're used to conventional advertising. If they had wanted conventional, they would not have contacted you.

  21. I was just doing the blogging rounds and had just finished reading all about Mrs Woogs boobs when I opened your post. For the briefest moment I thought those eggs where another set of boobs and another boob post. You can imagine my relief when I realised they were eggs!

    Love ya bitch, two more sleeps!!!


  22. How the hell did he get pigeon eggs???

    I thought ballsack right away! I don't think I would of been able to eat the eggs actually after them coming out like that. Surely the chef was playing a prank on you!

  23. is it weird that i find your blog a great alternative to anti-depressants? Thanks for the giggles again Eben woops I mean Eden.

  24. God I hope you didn't eat them. I am gagging just looking at them. Totally ballsacks. In fact, I am worried that the chef was pissed at this helper and those may be the only remains left.

    Oh, and it's 49°--F, I don't have a clue how to convert to metric--and raining here so I completely hate you for sitting on a beach.

  25. love the post. And I now declare that my corn on the cob forks will from now on be called CORN HANDLEBARS, love it, priceless xoxo

  26. Hehe I love the picture of Rocco peeing himself.

  27. Eden, you boggle my mind. I don't know why, but this is a great post. Made me smile outside and chuckle inside.

  28. I want to know where you had pizza so I can go there!


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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