Thursday, 8 September 2011

Pretty Ugly.

So this is how ugly I was this morning:

                Oh my god it's just so shocking - I still feel 25, yannow?

And don't say I wasn't ugly, because I WAS. Besides the transparent fricken red eyelashes and unkempt eyebrow hair ... was an ugly ball of yuck sitting in the pit of my heart. Everything sucked. Everything was ugly, in the whole world. Most of all ME.

So, as I was lugging four heavy stupid bags of stupid groceries to the car to put the stupid dinner on and do the stupid clothes washing, I passed a beautician to see if she could fit me in.

I really, really wished I had done this before I went to Thailand last week, because yesterday, I plucked THREE LONG HAIRS FROM A MOLE ON MY FACE. The only way they could have been more obvious was if I had plaited them, and tied the end with a quaint, teeny ribbon.

The beautician fitted me straight in then and there, with all my stupid shopping bags. I quickly took the photo above, because I wanted to compare and contrast when I had finished. She was in the room as I took it - "Just taking a pic of how ugly I am!" She laughed in that bemused way that strangers often laugh at me. I'm used to it.

So she dyed my eyelashes and waxed my eyebrows. And just like that, I felt like a million bucks. So much better!

I waltzed those bags to my car, and saw a shop with a sale on. Thought I would buy, just, a teeny trinket for ten bucks or something.

Oh no no. Know what I found? A DRESS. Usually I'm too lazy to try things on and just guess but I thought I'd better try this on. It fit perfectly. I would not have tried this dress on if I didn't get my eyelashes dyed which in turn gave me my strut back.

I asked the lady to please take a photo of me in it and she did. Told her my friend Nikki is determined to get me in a dress - I am a jeans and tee girl. That's it. If it aint broke, why fix it?

THIS is why:

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                         It likes me! It really, really likes me!

It's over a hundred bucks so I had to lay-by it. But that baby is mine - well, it will be in a month. And I only went into that shop because my eyes felt so pretty:

                                                     After Ugly.

I'm laughing because out of all the rooms in my whole house, I could only get a decent shot of myself in the dunny. The torlet. The can. The shitter.

Not sure what that symbolises. Probably something very fitting.

IN CONCLUSION: Be kind to yourself. Your Ugly will thank you ... and you may just find a KILLER dress. Now, I wear it with cowboy boots, right?
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