Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Mr BabyMacBeth vs Mr Edenland

Back in June, we thought Dave's cancer was back but it wasn't, hooray, let's live another day and celebrate and then forget and then bitch and moan and take everything for granted again very quickly, ok?

So. During the week of Dave's dreadful stomach pains - like BAD PAINS, I told my friend Beth. Beth the BabyMac. One of the most coolest, sweetest chicks online. Actually, she guessed because she is very savvy and smart and I just told her the truth of,  HE'S GOING TO DIIIIEEEEEEE. I never over-react!

Beth supported me that week with texts and random tweets and funny ditties. She was worried and lovely and caring, and we compared stoking our fires.

One cold night, for some reason - I promised Dave sex in exchange for him making some origami for Max. He sat at this teeny table, cheesy grin, sore tummy, but ripe with expectation. I took a photo and put it up on Instagram:

                                        Oh, that expectant smile!

Beth saw said picture that night, and showed her husband Rob. Rob was *not* promised sex that night, and responded via Instagram with this:

                                          Wob haz a sad.

I showed Dave, who thought it was HILARIOUS. He responds - via my Instagram to Beths Instagram to Rob - with this:

                                        Cheeky bloody bugger!

Game on for Rob. Bear in mind, these guys have never met. They were just having a metaphorical pissing contest on their wives blogs. In the meantime, Beth and I are were frantically tweeting, hoping that maybe after all this crap they'll be too tired for sex anyway? Other people on twitter and Instagram could see it unfolding, and it was bloody hysterical.

So Rob does this pathetic paper airplane and a note to Dave:

Robs note reads: "Well, if you're going to think of me you should know .. for starters, I'm hung like a donkey and have the staying power of Phar Lap."

Ok, so here's where I mention that my husband Dave can be quite .... competitive. He turns to me - WINCING IN PAIN from possible cancer tumours, asking me where is that intricate green paper Japanese origami card we gave Max three years ago? I said I did not know. Dave spent twenty goddamn minutes looking for that infernal origami foldout piece.

You know when you just KNOW you won't be able to find something? Well, I knew. But Dave kept looking, man. I got bored and went to watch TV.

Dave was dejected. And possibly facing more chemo, or death, or some shit. I had a brainwave. "Look, hon, use Max's Lego Guggenheim Museum from New York and spread out on the bed like you're about to get lucky."

So he did.

I believe Dave's last words to Rob were "Maaaate. Game, set, and match."


It was all funny and frivolous and stupid. Much how blogging can be, sometimes. But you know what? For about half an hour, Dave stopped thinking about how scared he was about his cancer coming back and just had FUN. And that was from Beth and her great sport hubby Rob. (Sidenote - we still do not know what caused Dave's intense pain that week. I don't care - it wasn't cancer? All I need to know. Good luck with your ulcer or hernia or appendix hon. Stop terrifying me.)

Beth got quite a few nasty comments on her blog this week, which I believe were uncalled for. She even did a vlog addressing her hater. Which I think is GOLD. Everybody's blog is different - man, I can't even DESCRIBE my blog. Beth writes with humour and passion and she loves beautiful things and arranging her house. Her family made a HUGE move from Sydney to the bloody country recently. Takes balls to do that. Takes balls to write honestly on the internet. She takes cool photos and she dares to write that she hates the park and she once tweeted that "Honestly, the only place for egg sandwiches is at a wake."

Beth, if I die before you, can you PLEASE bring egg sangers to my wake? With old school parsley sprinkled on top, not continental? I'd be honoured.

I don't think we should compare blogs. Especially if you've never read one before and you land on one and some white housewife is talking about her new BIN? OUTRAGEOUS!

Because, for all you know, that white housewife may have been up all night tending to her children. Sitting at the end of their beds while they go to sleep. Or had a fight with her best mate. Or had a dodgy pap smear. Or just struggled with life - because life is so hard and people are starving in the world and the planet could be doomed! THAT'S why we're all so bloody crazy!

A white housewife dares to make a warm and inviting space for her family and friends. That white housewife may have had a complete sobbing breakdown crouched down on her haunches in the middle of her kitchen and caught her reflection in the bin and thought, wow, I love this bin.

And blogged, simply, that she loved her bin.

There's always more to life than what we portray to the world. If you're nasty to somebody else, you're probably the nastiest to yourself. And that's pretty sad.

- Funniest sidenote in all the land: That night, laying in bed, Dave was still laughing at the pics going back and forth to Rob. And Dave asked me, "Hon, did ya text him the last one?" And in that moment I realised that he thought we'd been just texting the whole time, not - you know, uploading potentially embarrassing photos to the internet. I laughed so hard the bed shook, and Dave thought I was laughing from the "texts." I am evil.


  1. If it's bins and tweets and blogs that get us thru each day, then good. Could be a whole lot worse. Xxx

  2. "I'm hung like a donkey".. hahaha love it!
    Sometimes all we need is some craziness and some silliness to take our minds off how hard life is.

    I read those comments on BabyMac but didn't want to get involved. I couldn't believe "anon" kept using your blog as an example of... god I don't even know what they were trying to say.

    Hopefully they don't find my blog. I write about how I struggle with housework and my plans to change that. Not saving the world at all, just being a crap housewife. But we can't all be supermum.

  3. I have no words. That last photo of Dave had me in fits and then the post script... OMG. Hilarious.

    I hate that Beth's been given such a hard time. I adore her and everything she does.

    My mum makes a mean egg sandwich. So mean that I couldn't take them to school because they made my lunchbox smell like you know what. But I'll bring some to your wake too, and we can have an egg off in your honour.


  4. I remember this playing out on Instagram and twitter. Gold.

  5. YOU ARE TOTALLY EVIL. But it's totally worth it my friend x

    I remember these photos. I'm so glad Baby Mac was there to make you laugh. She really is awesome x

  6. I love this post, you made me laugh so much and thanks to the link to BabyMac - have become her new follower.

  7. thanks for tonight’s best story. good sports are what keeps us sane, isn’t it ?~!

  8. Oh, I love this! Humur can cure anything, truly. x

  9. OMG, rolling at the idea of the pics going back and forth and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the captions. Humor is the universal medicine.

  10. that story is gold. I especially love the last part, texts, ha, too funny.
    I love Beth's bin too. x

  11. Blog or tweet whatever gets you through the day or night I say. Can't wait to see the pics when I get home, phone won't show them, and I need a good laugh today. Don't we all? :)

  12. Ah, this post was worth the wait - even if I laughed so hard that my desk shook and my phone fell off.

    You nailed it x

  13. That's just classic.
    There's no room for haters in this space.
    They should head back to the a-hole from whence they came.

  14. I love both your blogs. They are different and inspiring in their own ways, thats what I love about them.

    I love these kinds of stories. Where strangers/bloggers become friends and things like this come to life. I'm glad Dave is feeling better. Cancer scares the shit out of me.

    Regarding eggs sangas? My mother makes an awesome curried egg sandwich for family gatherings. The egg farts are half the fun of it too.


  15. I will not come to your funeral if there are to be egg sandwiches served. GAG.

    This post just goes to show that there are more supporters in Blogland than there are haters. Thank god.

    I also agree, BabyMac is one of my faves xx

  16. the guggenheim!!!!! bahahahahahaha! THAT was gold! pure gold!

  17. Love it! Missed it at the time, but it's hilarious. I've spent many evenings giggling with my online gals and guys, although we have never exchanged photos. Could be a new trend.

    And you make a very good point, even the most honest, raw blogs reflect only a tiny fraction of ourselves and the people out there can't possibly know our whole experience. We let them in just a little, if they must pass judgement, they at least don't need to share it.

  18. Lady, I promise to make you egg sambos with the nasty, curly 1986 parsley. I'll even do some curried ones because I REALLY like you.

    Thanks man. Appreciate you. Appreciate all the kindness everyone has shown me over the past few days. Sally is but one amongst HUNDREDS of good eggs (pardon the pun). As for the mole/s who bets I drive a top range Hyundai and told me to "get a farken life Babymac lol" I can say....I have one. A really, really good one that's filled with pretty stuff, fabulous bins, amazing food, base model Hyundai's, cleaning ladies with slipped discs in her back that means I have to clean my own (god forbid) TORLET and SO MANY awesome online buddies some of whom I lucky to call my real life friends. Like you Eden Riley x

    So, did you put out? We all know I DIDN'T...

  19. Thank you for sharing this utterly golden moment! You and Beth rock, love both your blogs, you sassy lassies xxx

  20. Well said , may haters rot in a vat of rotten egg sandwich gas. I need to know about new bins and all that stuff.
    Beth is hilarious I just read her guest post on embarrassing moment.
    Really freaky that I should read this post - like right now- ,we thought there was something amiss (cannot even say that we thought hubs cancer was back too) after a followup MRI 2wks ago showed something , so they called him back last week for another . MRI peeps actually say yes we found something need more angles etc. No Dr to be seen.
    Scared the life out of us too for last 10 days- living in freaking fear of what? Just as we are about to head on road trip to WA .
    Hub just found out in last 30 mins- it looks like post op scarring ...onwards.
    Thanks for giggle ,I was thinking of having an egg sandwich today too ...I hardly ever have them.
    I've so much nicer to him the last 10 days

  21. I was one of the cockatoos that joined in the 'Sally' bashing. I admit it. Theres something about nasty blog comments that make me fume. I'm so glad that you wrote this. I would never have popped over here after the way 'Sally' spoke about you. P.S. Did you ever tell him it wasn't just texting? : )

  22. you 2 (eden a nd beth) are a crackup!! first blogs I head to for the day..usually starts my day with a smile..cheers ya'll

  23. Haters gonna hate.

    I love the instagrams.

  24. I just don't understand what haters get out of pissing someone off online and passing judgement on what they want to write about.
    I am new to blogging but thought that your blog is your corner of the Internet, as for all of the bad crazy stuff in the world that we could all spend every day worrying about? You do your best and thats it. Bearing in mind you and Baby Mac are from the land down under I thought this quote said it best.

    Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles Schulz

    p.s. Babymac, I would never have visited your blog without news of all this hating. You take BEAUTIFUL photographs, and having just emptied my stinky old bin this morning I want yours :)

  25. Today i had a really really bad day.
    One of those you talk of here....behind the scenes we can all have them.
    What has made today bearable has been the love i get from people in blog land. Beth was one of those today.
    I am relatively new to blog world and the amazing support world that can be twitter- depending on how you use it..
    I too love Beth's blog and her quips on twitter.
    I remember seeing that volley between you two that night too!
    Anybody who reads her....like really reads the in-between-the lines sort of her....we all know she is ace.
    I love this post because I have been thinking of her hater a lot and thinking about the whole blog support network thing a lot....
    you have got it SPOT on.
    What we write about is a small snippet into the real goings on of our world. our world of BIG stuff.
    And it is futile to compare blogs. they are all different.
    All give us something unique.
    Sometimes we need to lighten up a little and just enjoy a shiny bin FFS!!!
    thankyou for writing this piece.

  26. I am absolutely crying with laughter here! crying, big tears at the shenanigans of your hubbies! do they need blogs of their own!

    I love beth too! she has a gorgeous life, gorgeous family and always makes me laugh:) someone is just jealous of her gorgeous life and has a sad life of their own! It's the only reason why people waste their time leaving anon comments! hopefully they get over it and move on!

  27. Am I the only one that loves eggs sandwiches, not curried though Urgh.
    People need to get over themselves on blogs -don't like don't read it, I personally loved it.
    I've made some great friends on twitter and blogging, laughed and cried with them too.
    And now I've done both with this blog cried with laughter,so thanks.xx

  28. Funny husbands are the absolute best. And funny blogs. And, let's face it, funny Anon meanies because they are easily the funniest of them all. Oh my god I had a right laff at BabyMac's do gooding commenter, ESPECIALLY the comparisons to this virtuous, saintly blog right here. x

  29. That was bloody brilliant! It's so good to see adults forgetting all the serious BS that we all have to put up with every day and just being stupid and having some fun.

  30. Long time Beth lover here, and new to Eden, so glad I made it here. However, I think I may have to break up with Beth.

    I really, really love egg sandwiches. This could be a deal breaker.

  31. Classic! Gotta love the way humour can diffuse any situation.

    I commented to BabyMac yesterday I just dont understand hurtful comments. Entering someone's blog is akin to stepping into their home and surely people would never be so blatantly rude to their host? If you dont like it, leave. And dont dare judge them. As you say, if its what makes me them happy ans keeps them sane, how dare anyone second guess what they chose to blog about?

  32. Oh, this is so funny! Love the competitive nature of these two blokes. HILARIOUS! Poor Beth. Love her too. And I'm off to give her some kind words to (hopefully) make up for the not so nice ones the other day.


  33. I remember when this unfolded all those months ago and I laughed a lot then. I think I'm laughing even more now!! Gold Mr Eden and Mr Beth. Pure gold.
    Also a big thumbs up to celebrating blog diversity. After all isn't what it's all about? Each blog is unique and special in their own way.
    Feel the LOVE people! xx

  34. That is absolute gold! Loving the camaraderie. :)

  35. what a wonderful hilarious way to start my day. my favorite part is your zebra striped, 'lets get it on', sheets. the whole thing is so great. i love the world of blogs.

  36. What fantastic friends!

    And hey, bins are important buisness you know!
    But totally totally spot on. You aren't in that person's shoes and I always try to think of people as having their absolute worst day ever. Life can be a mother fucker sometimes.
    I am so glad Dave is ok. Maybe he just needed to do a big poo? Lol.

  37. You are so friggin' awesome. WAY too awesome.

    [Hey, I wrote a post on Monday that was inspired by how HOT Dave is. If you feel like it, please check it out.]

  38. Hilarious! I was just thinking that Dave was being a really good sport about the photos online, and then your sidenote...ahh, so funny!

  39. She doesn't like egg sandwiches??? The triangle ones? cough that's just wrong! And yet, her bin post made me follow her ;) Perhaps I dig the wacky, "mundane" folks.

  40. Evil in the nicest possible way x

    PS. You know we're all stuffed if ever our husbands get together and organize a blogging partners conference?

  41. This is why I love Twitter and the interweb.

    The flipside being how it plays on the dark whisperings in my head.

    Funny that.

    Also - when you guys come over I'm now making egg sandwiches AND Thai food. Noice. Diffrent. Unewesule.

  42. Freaking awesome post! (Again, an awesome Eden post? Who'd have thunk it? :D)

    I don't know BabyMac but am headed there now just to spite the hater.

    Love the pics and the story. Though I must say. Between making origami, searching for origami, making signs, taking photos and getting laid. Half an hour? APparently MR Baby Mac really does have better staying power. ;-)

  43. Very funny post, Yes, I also don't understand where anon was coming from and agree with maxabella! The irony of it was ridiculous. Did she not see the photos of the gold sealed toilet paper! She would not want to come over to where I am, I write about what I find in my fruit bowl!

  44. Their photo battle is HILARIOUS. I love it. LOVE. Did you ever get confirmation that he is in fact hung like a donkey and has the staying power of Phar Lap?

  45. Bless him for thinking you wouldn't play this out in a public forum.

    Thank him for the laughs x

  46. Thank you for liking this post as much as me and Beth had fun being idiots with it.

    And no, there is no WAY that Dave knows his pics have been used in public like this. Maybe one day ...

    Heh! xo

  47. You ARE evil. But you are funny and honest and very naughty. And I'm sure Dave will see the funny side...like, maybe in a few years! Wicked girl!

  48. Somedays I am the White Housewife Bin Lady - and because I am capable, and handy and A-type personality - those around me do not get the need to BE the White Housewife Bin Lady!
    Thank you for reminding me that it is ok to be just that!!

  49. You make being Australian a VERB.

  50. He thought they were texts? BAHAHAHAHA! Poor Dave!
    Love your work, Eden and Beth! LOVE it!


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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