Friday, 9 September 2011

An empty book.

This morning started like many other mornings in this house ... using shameless bribery to get children into the car. I promised Rocco a pink cupcakie! if he got into the car, come on sweetheart let's go find one!
After dropping off various other children, I took Rocco to the bakery for his promised pink cupcakie! and he chose this one:

                   To the Little Britain fans out there - "I want that one."

I laughed and quickly stopped when I realised he was serious and was about to have a meltdown in the bakery. I can out-meltdown any meltdown son, surely you must know this by now? The German lady asked "Can I help you?"  I was SO STONY FACED to her and said oh pardon me. I knelt down to Rocco and hissed. "Mate, if you want a pink cupcakie! you can have a pink cupcakie! Not a big cake like that that is RIDICULOUS. If you start a tantrum in here right now you will get noooothhhhiiinngggg."

Out of defiance, he chose a BWOWN CUPCAKIE and was not very happy about it at all.

                                           Meh. I've seen bigger.

Then we had to take a medicare receipt to get a $24 rebate, which is located in our local Social Security payment office. There was a box of toys there which Rocco ended up playing with for TWENTY MINUTES. I had to concentrate really hard to not picture the germs swirling over those toys. My business was done in five, so I resigned myself to watching Rocco play underneath the big TV that was showing Obama talking.

                               These are the best toys mum! GAG.

Obama referenced Abraham Lincoln - I like that. I know hardly anything about American politics, but I believe Obama to be a good man doing probably the hardest job in the world.

A guy plonked himself down next to me - and no shit, took his trousers off. And changed into a different pair. Unbelievable. He looked in disgust at the TV - I was avoiding eye contact at all cost at this point. And then he says, "America's just FUCKED."

I knew he expected a response from me - probably in agreement. I just said, "Well, I don't know much about it but I just hope that most people are doing the best they can. And I love how Obama talks with such passion."

"Nuh. America's FUCKED."

America, this guy thinks you're FUCKED:


I told Rocco we were leaving right NOW - to better toys I promise! And took him to the Salvation Army. The cheaper and nastier toys the BETTER, as far as he is concerned. Heaven. He had his heart set on a skateboard dude, for the princely sum of $1.50.

                                              Best. Toy. Ever.

I bought a bunch of things that I obviously really needed, including a lonely orange seventies serving fork, a plastic platter with all twelve astrological signs, and a Sleeping Beauty book. I pay the guy $10.50 for fourteen items. And then for some unknown reason, I draw everybody's attention to one of my purchases.

"Ok, you know what I love? This Sleeping Beauty book." And I opened it up to show them:

Nothing. Empty - no pages. The guy felt so bad and tried to give me back my fifty cents - I'm all, mate! No way - I'm going to write my OWN Sleeping Beauty story in there! A lady asked, what kind?

And I replied, a dark and twisted kind! She and I both looked at each other thinking, wow. That's really strange.

And you know what the guy behind the counter said?

"Well, I'd like to read that. You should put it up on a computer or something."

I loved him in that moment. He knew EXACTLY why I bought it.
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