Wednesday, 31 August 2011

We're not in Bangkok anymore Toto ... and we never goddamn were!

There are no bags of salted chips in this hotel room ... but my GOD are there full size bottles of hard liquor! We arrived here about half an hour ago, I can't see anything yet. It's pitch black ... but I AM very impressed with this:

                                        Gold sealed toilet paper.

                              One robe for me and one for my alter-ego.

                      Apparently, I am allowed four guest over? Who's in?

It took eighteen hours for me to get here - two planes, one cab ride, two shuttles, and some weird-ass train thing at Singapore Airport. I was walking around Singapore Airport a hot mess, desperate to buy a charger to turn my phone on to roaming and pay a bajillion of all the hard-earned blogging money I earn, to hear my boys voices back home.

I bought one, unplugged a free internet computer, and charged my phone and dared anyone to to look into my wild eyes and dispute me.

I rang and nobody answered. I bit back tears, bought a crap coffee, and decided to never leave home again, until the next time I leave home. I expect Dave will have his stuff ready to go when I come back home - it is SO his turn!

I saw a sign saying "Changi" and I thought, am I in Changi? Yes, yes I was. I am quite ignorant and dumb, and fail geography badly. I will shamelessly admit this. We were flying over Australia today to get to Singapore and I thought ohhh, so THAT'S where Singapore is. Now where the hell is Thailand?

When we finally got off at Koh Samui there was a massive sign saying BANGKOK. And I thought .... am I in Bangkok now? (No, I'm not.)

So there's my secret that I don't hide - I'm a dumb ignorant idiot who failed flank. But ask me about the state of the human heart? Ask me to talk of the toil and hardship of the human condition and the hopeless ridiculousness of simply being alive?

I'm your man.


Today has been interesting. There are about ten of us - most of them know my blog. Which is really very odd - like, when I drop Rocco off at daycare and I know some of the carers there who read this blog and they're all, "Here's the crazeeee one." At BlogHer recently and again today, I've been asked what I blog about. After stammering for so may years, I've started saying I'm a personal memoir blogger. Had some fascinating conversations with the organisers of this trip and their take on traditional vs new media and the benefits of blogger engagement. And where Australia is headed. They are perfectly coiffed, but I don't hate them at all.

Tomorrow there is a catamaran involved. I also hear that St Murphy is in town. Koh Sumui is about to explode.

The local currency is "baht" pronounced "Butt" and I sniggered, because I like that and I cannot lie.

Proper photos tomorrow ... judging from your comments and emails, it's going to be amazing!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Dude -- I just googled where you are and HOLY SHIT is all I have to say.

    It looks gorgeous.

    Can't wait to hear more -- as always.



  3. Bet they do a turndown service and leave chocs on your pillow. Tip - check this before climbing into bed and crashing out, or was I the only person to ever do that??

    Enjoy, it all looks pretty cool so far x

  4. St Murphy got "erect" when I told him you were on your way! He has a way with words, no? X

  5. I once spent a week on that island eating banana fritters everyday. It is the best!


  6. I was wondering if you would get time to accidentally run into St Murphy, as I was pretty sure he was in the area.

    I confess, I was really good at geography. I can throw a dart at every US state, every European country, the entire middle east and sub contintent etc, and get it right. But throw me in the Asia pacific region, and I'm toast. Why is that, considering I've always lived in Australia?

    Please don't forget the stick figure tiger (with stripes) for Zoey and I. We asked (demanded) nicely(notreallythatnicely).

    Have fun. Have you had a green curry yet? Have you talked to the boys yet?

  7. Tattoos at LA Ink one week, days of the week slippers in your Singapore hotel room the next. Have a ball - can't wait to hear all about your latest adventure.

  8. I worked for many years with Thai companies and have been lots of times. You will love it. Koh Samui is gorgeous. Butterfly Farm, Tigers and restaurants on the beach. If you get to Bangkok please go to Cabbages and Condoms and Bed Supperclub. Also Skybar is fantastic for a drink and night time view over Bangkok.

  9. That gold sealed toilet paper is superb. Hope you've had a chance to talk to your boys by now, and have an amazing time on that catamaran tomorrow (soooo dying of jealousy inside!)


  10. that is fantastic. rock the kasbah, mama.

  11. loving the loo paper. hope you don't get thailand tummy and need to use it!


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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