Thursday, 18 August 2011

Imma die with my boots on.

These are my favourite pair of boots.

I bought them on a whim on eBay one day, not holding out much hope they would fit. They do - we were made for each other. Dave was home when they arrived in the post. He handed the parcel over to me and saw the return address was Queensland.

"What is it hon?"

I am a sneaky, terribly brilliant liar. Had 1.5 seconds to answer his question before arousing suspicion. Didn't want him to know I'd bought a pair of boots for $80 online and they probably wouldn't fit. Suddenly remembering that both of my sisters were in Queensland that week. "Oh ... the girls said they found me some amazing boots. They posted them already, wow, they are SO nice!"

I opened the parcel and they fit like a glove and I walked into my bedroom and text both Linda and Leigh at the same time: "Bought boots from eBay. Told Dave you bought them for me. Thank you for kind gift."

They text me back straight away. "We are SO glad they fit! You're welcome!"

Every time they see me in these boots, they comment on their generosity.

They were the only shoes left that fit me towards the end of my pregnancy with Rocco. I called myself the Angry Pregnant Cowgirl. We moved quickly from clomping the halls of maternity to clomping the halls of cancer wards. The Angry Cowgirl.

They have special powers, make me feel incredibly tough and kickarse. I took them to San Diego and wore them as I spoke.


Last year, when Dave and I were in New York, I looked for red cowboy boots everywhere but had no luck. I believe every woman should own at least two pairs of red shoes in her lifetime. My favourite fable of all time is the Red Shoes - the real version where she gets her feet chopped off.

On our last day, I told Dave that I hadn't been to Central Park and I needed a photo of me there to prove I went. So we ran up, I posed - some would say awkwardly - for this:

As we ran back to our hotel, I spied these babies in the window:

                      HON I FOUND THEM

It was the sweatiest, quickest shoe sale I have ever been involved in. The cashier was batshit crazy and would not shut up. I get so many comments on these boots. They jazz up any mood I am in. They give me confidence and sass.


When I was in LA and San Diego, I scoured everywhere for a pair of black cowboy boots with white stitching. No dice anywhere - kept trying Macy's and Nordstrum and all the schmancy shops with snooty cashiers. On our last day, I looked everywhere but could not find my boots. Suddenly, a guy said the two magic words "Boot World." I promised Mrs Woog I would be quick ... as she waited in the taxi with the meter running, I raced inside to Boot World and yelled at the guy. "Do you have a size 8 mens black cowboy boot with white stitching my taxi is waiting?"

Yes. He did.

I stood at the counter and let him sell me some leather conditioner too. Need to start looking after my babies more. A female cashier came running from out the back "OH MY GOD THERE IS A HUGE SPIDER IN THE STOREROOM!" As a fellow arachnophobe, I laughed and told her she's lucky she doesn't live in Australia. I have huntsmen as big as rats in my woodpile. (I can't even type the word "huntsmen" without squirming.)

I bought the black boots, got in the cab, raced back to hotel, packed, and caught a plane out of the country.

Apparently it is now my "thing" to buy cowboy boots at the last minute in America.

If I take my black nailpolish off it will mean my trip is over and I am just not ready for that yet.

Haven't worn my newbies much yet. They haven't walked in any maternity or chemo wards. They are not scuffed. I wonder where I will go in them? I wonder what they are going to see?
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