Saturday, 13 August 2011

I cannot write a BlogHer11 recap post.

It's impossible. BlogHer is a wild beast, a mechanical bull at a bar that you get on with a heart full of intention and expectations and it ends up sliding you all over in places you didn't expect to stretch.


I can throw out a few observations, though.

1) Redeeming the price of my ticket during the very first session I attended. Brene Brown, Gluten Free Girl, and Mr Lady on the panel talking of  Perfect Imperfections: Blogging Your Way to Self-Acceptance I need to buy every book that Brene has written - she is an expert on shame. So am I, really.

2) I ate my first Twizzler. I do not like Twizzlers. But I watched Twizzler Girl, the whole conference. Day in, day out, offering her Twizzlers to all who walked past. She kept offering me one, as if she had never seen me before. I walked past her a lot. And I thought, who is Twizzler Girl? With her hat and Twizzlin' outfit? What are her hopes and dreams in life? She reminded me of when I used to work in an ice-cream shop on Manly Wharf in 1991. I loathed that job, was so very hungover every bloody day. I would scoop the ice cream and want to scream at the people I AM MORE THAN AN ICE CREAM SCOOPER.

Twizzler Girl was more than just a Twizzler Girl, just like I was more than Ice Cream Girl. I wish I'd asked her exactly what.

3) The outrageous Sparklecorn cake:


What's so outrageous about it? The fact that I did not get a piece.

3) Waiting to talk with Jenny in her makeshift bathroom, one of my favourite bloggers Megan from Velveteen Mind coming up to say hello. When I told her my blog she knew who I was, and we had a beautiful talk that night and again two nights later. Megan is a knife-juggler who revels in the threadbare. She did not bat an eye when I cried to her.

4) Crying, a lot. For so many different reasons. I took an ache in my heart over there and brought it back home with me. Was I born with this fucking ache? So annoying.

5) Ree set the tone of the whole of BlogHer for me. I went to her Pathfinder panel on the first day - not because I want to become a media company ... I just wanted to bask in her glory. And I did - she is so gorgeous and shy and funny. I had dragged across the globe a copy of her book "Pioneer Woman Cooks" to get signed for my friend and top Aussie food blogger Liss from Frills in the Hills. Liss also gave me a box of Aussie candy, to give to Ree.

I sat there with the book and the candy under the table, shrinking at the thought of walking up and asking her to sign it. Lunch time came, people made a beeline for her, and I decided that no, I would NOT get the
book signed. I would tell Liss sorry, it was too hard. So I walked out and down the hall to get some lunch. Dejected idiot. And then I punched myself in the head. "Just go back in and ask her to sign your friends book! Just doooo iiiiiitttttt."

So I did. And when Ree saw me she clapped her hands and told me she couldn't believe it was me and she loved my twitter vlog and she has watched it fifteen times. And all the people around her turned to look at who she could possibly be speaking to. She was talking to me, the Ice Cream Girl. Later in the panel Ree adjusted her spanx and then sang an American underpants theme song from when she was a kid. And I thought wow ... THIS is why she rocks the whole blogging world.

(And this is why we must push past our comfort zones ... why, if we walk the world with an open heart, we will be richly rewarded.)

6) Half-and-half. Just deserves its own bullet point, is all.

7) Oh, Mrs Woog. I watched her show a group of raucous American coupon bloggers how to donkey root, She conducted an experiment on whether Americans knew what a "mole" meant, (they didn't) .. and every day, I watched her never take herself too seriously. I love her.




8) I had a truly religious experience in True Religion. Here in Australia, shopping is expensive - a pair of True Religion jeans would set you back a lot. I went in on a mission, tried on so many pairs that I had to start taking photos of them and then asking the girl three pairs down the track ... where are these ones again?

                                 My ass ... let me show u it

She found them, and before I bought them -  "Still Haven't Found" came on over the speakers and I started crying (see: Ache). She did not bat an eyelid. It's hard to shock you Americans.

::

I could go on forever, I could. But my kids are fighting and I have to go be a soccer mum.

I've learnt, from reading other recap posts including this from Lerner and this from my main homie Mel and  this one by the fricking gorgeous Mom 101 ... (Liz I want to make love to your mind) that it's common for everybody to feel deflated after seeing friends and letting go and having so much fun. The high of it was just so high ... surely, Dorothy must have looked around the room after she woke and felt so relieved that she was back in her own home, but missing the glitz and sparkle of Emerald City? That when she went back to raking the muck out of the pig pens, she had an ache she could not quite place?

::
And then this.


My suns, my anchors, my sweetest little turdburgers.

39 comments:

  1. Eden, I love you, you are amazing. I was born with "the ache," as you so brilliantly put it. And I "met" you at BlogHer last year in the grief panel, right after my parents had died and I was a mess. We both asked great questions. (!) And the post you read at VOTY was just stunning and gorgeous and so hopeful and beautiful in the face of life's unavoidable agonies that I just cried with gratitude that there are people like you to help translate the ache and turn it into beauty. I WILL meet you next year. I'll be the one who tackle-hugs you.

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  2. You make me wanna go.



    That is all.

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  3. You made the experience by laying yourself before us.

    All love, joy, and for the moment.

    It was you that made BlogHer for me.

    I'll always remember you holding my hand at the People's Party, telling me, "I can't believe I'm looking at you."

    It was you.

    Loved you before, love you more ferociously now.

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  4. You were amazing. I'm so glad I got to hear you.

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  5. I had no idea that was what a Donkey Root was. No idea whatsoever.

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  6. It sounds like you had an amazing time.

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  7. I wish I got to spend more time with you. And, yes, the deflated feeling lasts a bit after you get home.

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  8. Thanks for dinking me on your mechanical bull ride. It sounds amazing. All the colour and glitter of the Land of Oz, I can see why you brought that ache home with you.

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  9. You don't like Twizzlers? Maybe you just didn't have the right kind...

    I never knew that was called Donkey Rooting...I used to do that when I was drinking and smoking. And the only moles I know are the ones destroying my lawn or the ones on my skin that make me wonder if I have skin cancer. Am I missing out on something?

    Sounds like you had an amazing trip! But I have to wonder...how much are True Religion jeans in Australia? Because I can't afford them here! (well, I can afford them, but I couldn't ever bring myself to pay that much for a pair of jeans)

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  10. Mate, don't ask me why but I cried then watching that clip. You & Woogsy have done us proud x

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  11. did you have the red twizzlers? or the black? the black is disgusting.

    i still can't believe you guys don't have half & half over there...

    you guys make me want to sell all my worldy possessions to make BlogHer2012

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  12. Can't appreciate the highs, without the lows.
    xx

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  13. And mate, look at those Sparklecorn teeth you got yerself there uh : )

    xx

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  14. Wow - what an amazing post. I don't even know where to begin. Beautiful, inspiring, inspired. The bit that really hit home with me was '(And this is why we must push past our comfort zones ... why, if we walk the world with an open heart, we will be richly rewarded.)'. this is something I really want to, need to, work on. Really touching Eden, as usual.

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  15. Sounds like it was an amazing time. I am soo jealous. However I don't think anyone could have top you and Woogs representing Aussie bloggers.

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  16. You could do a black market trade on those jeans! Do you know how much they cost here?! And BTW you bum looks mighty fine! TOTES!

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  17. Just for the record, I have never, ever, mucked out a pig pen! So there!

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  18. Twizzlers are shockingly bad. For some reason I was very disappointed when I tried one.

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  19. how did i not know what a donkey root was??? #shelteredlife

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  20. "Give me a kiss like the Royal Wedding"... you are utterly fabulous Eden! xx

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  21. sounds amazing and I have to say I have major envy re you hearing Brene Brown speak discovered her books and TED talks on shame and vulnerability and connection just this week in fact
    Wow!

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  22. I'm glad I got a chance to meet you, and you were amazing at the VOTY.

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  23. Hello to you all! I'm exited to have joined this forum and am looking forward to contributing.

    My interests are wide and varied but I reckon my real passion is for music. I love a wide variety such as
    Faithless, The Smiths, Enigma, The Cure & The Mission.

    I'm always on the lookout for new places to download new music and the best place I have come across is
    [url=http://www.iomoio.com/index.php?pid=3140]Iomoio[/url]. Their music is only 15 cents a track so you can save a real fortune. And it's legal!

    Anyway, looking to make more posts soon.....

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  24. You both were fabulous! In person and on the nightly news. So thrilled we had the chance to say hello and grab a few moments here and there. Next year as an attendee, not a photog, I plan to have more time to catch up.

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  25. Ride that bull, Eden, ride it hard.

    For any 'out of the usual' experience, there is always the comedown of the usual. The usual sux when you think about it, but it's sustainable and it's owned, not borrowed. x

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  26. <3 please come next year? I would like to try on jeans with you and get a tatt. :D xx

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  27. When I watched your twitter vlog and read this part in your post

    "(And this is why we must push past our comfort zones ... why, if we walk the world with an open heart, we will be richly rewarded.)"

    I realised why I adore you so much while hardly knowing you. You brace yourself, hang on tight and open up. You inspire me, so much so my ache is making me tear up as I write.... I hope I can man up and be brave and go for it too... Thanks for being you,
    Nicole x

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  28. I love this post. But I think my favourite part was the photo at the end. That, my friend, is sheer bliss.

    (Ok. The Ree stuff is pretty awesome too. Something about you redheads..).

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  29. ok, so going next year to NY.... just another reason for us to go back and visit the amazing city of life and dreams!

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  30. And what the hell is a Twizzler?

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  31. I have no idea about the twizzler, but I ♥ those jeans. *squeal*.

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  32. What is a Donkey Root? Ah Eden I hope you have pushed aside the heavy heart and rejoiced in your sunshine, because mate you DO SHINE xx

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  33. you just mentioned some of my girls.

    I hope you hugged them for me cause DAMMIT GIRL why didn't I skin you at the Blogopolis drinks and then go as you and then be on the stage and whip off your skin and be all HUZZAH BIATCHES IT IS ME!

    To the sound of crickets.

    Damn. That would have been awesome.

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  34. Twizzlers are good, but only if you get the pull and peel kind, the others are nasty. The pull & peel are hard to find, but you basically pull them like ropes, and they're amazing.

    I loved the video, it was an amazing insight into the conference. I got a chance to be there without being there, and without being a mom blogger.

    Love the jeans, but really, how much do they cost? I've never even heard of them, to be honest...but I don't wear expensive jeans.

    You rock the blogosphere, and to be featured on youtube and the news, it appears you've rocked the TV world as well. Way to go. I already admired you, now I just admire you more. You've been through so much and come so far, and you just keep knocking everyone's socks off.

    ~Ashley~

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  35. Half and half is the bomb Eden and totally deserves it's own bullet point.

    Loving all your coverage of BlogHer. Hope to come along next year.

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  36. My mind would welcome the penetration.

    Loved meeting you, Eden. Next time--longer. Promise.

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  37. "And this is why we must push past our comfort zones ... why, if we walk the world with an open heart, we will be richly rewarded." - folding this little line into the precious hiding place in my mind and drawing strength from it. Truly needed to read these words today x

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  38. As always, the heart & soul you put into this post brought happy tears to my eyes. You are more beautiful than you will ever know.

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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