Dave bought a lion statue last year, and positioned it at the front of our drive. Every time I drive past it I am greeted with this:
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I have a husband and three sons, so it makes perfect sense that we needed more balls in the house. Oh, Dave actually bought two lions, so even if I drive out the other way, I just see the *other* lion ballsack.
I looked out one morning, turned to Dave, and asked him why all the phallic symbols? Specifically, the large ironstone rock he asked an excavator to come and spend an hour to turn upright.
I call it the cock rock.
He looked at me like I was speaking Greek, which I was.
Phallus - φαλλός: To inflate, swell.
Yesterday Dave rang me and I said, hey hon, how's it hangin'?
And he answered "Snug and tight." We laughed for about one full minute without stopping, until I said there is no way either of us could ever be married to anybody else.
Thank you for your comments this week Computer. Straight from your heart to mine and back. I need to mix up heavy posts with ones like these, so I appear light-hearted and normal.
More ballsack to you.
Ballsack - he he he :o)
ReplyDeleteThey are so weird looking these ballsacks. Hubby asked MiniMe to say scrotum the other day and she said yuuucckkk! Hahahahha, she doesn't even know what it means!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all...laughing my ass off at this post.
ReplyDeleteSecond, honey, you will never appear normal but that's good because I like odd people.
I fucking love you.
ReplyDeleteBallsack!
ever wonder why on statues sculptors feel the need to include balls?
ReplyDeletei never see vaginas on girl statues...
They are brilliant! I'm sure you get a great big laugh from anyone who visits.
ReplyDeletesnort. Ballsack. Jatz Crackers. Nuts. Goolies. it is all funny x
ReplyDeleteAre pluto and uranus rising at the moment or something? Only yesterday I wrote about balls, nuts, nads, boys, man-berries, kids on a swing, coin purses...what have you, there must be something in the air.... I think we should start a week of posts about bollocks, only this time be literal - we could do a link up, or a facebook event ... anyway my planets are definitely shifting or at least my husbands are as have gone nuts for nuts - so loving this post and the photo!
ReplyDeleteNicole x
What's wrong with me that my gaze went straight past the cock rock and I thought about how pretty your window was? When I was at high school, there was an extremely phallic statue which looked like a sandstone R2D2... "meet you at the dick after school!" we used to say.
ReplyDeleteI feel ya on being surrounded by cocks.
ReplyDeleteMr Black, however, does not share my sense of humour (It's the stick up his arse).
And Eden. No one could ever for a second call you "too serious". You are awesome-balls.
That statue is just so wrong. I never get the urge for men to erect (!) symbols to their "manhood"*. Really, we get it already. x
ReplyDelete* Sorry, got a bit Mills and Boony on you there. x
PS - See ya tomoz, lady. x
ReplyDeleteOh Lordy! Too funny. The almost swear word in our house is "Balls!" I'm wondering how old my kids will be before they realise what mummy is really saying ...
ReplyDeleteTradies car parked outside my place this morning - some have fuzzy dice, some have the red nose still stuck to the front fender .... this one? A Golden Ballsack hanging from the tow ball.... Swear to God -
ReplyDeleteJust hope they're back tomorrow - will get a pix and post it for you!!
hee hee
B A L L S A C K
there's nothing funnier than a fart joke but ballsacks and cock rocks come pretty bloody close.
ReplyDeleteTomoz I may just greet you with a cheery, LOUD, 'BALLSACK!'
I hope a creative lady sees this post and sends you a new sculpture with some lady bits, or at least some boobs on it, just to even up the place a bit.
ReplyDeleteoh dear...I've taken to reading edenland out loud to hubby on friday nights...although kinda slurry because I've had a couple of wines. funny stuff balls. Tatum xx
ReplyDeleteSeriously G and Dave are SEPARATED at birth I swear to God.
ReplyDeleteThere's much ballsack in this house -- my god and if Z had been a boy -- I just don't know what I would have done -- I say that of course until I see a pack of snotty nine year old girls at the playground and think -- lord protect us all this is going to be a bumpy ride -- no way around it.
XO
Ballsack!!!
I need more statuary.
Ballsack!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I've been spared until now. Yes, we are not a family that says ballsack. And while I am all for yelling it, seeing it is another thing.
That lion is SO WRONG!
But now I shall torment my all too appropriate husband with this quaint phrase.
Yeah.
Thank you Eden, you've once again made my day!
I love it! Dave is hilarious. And you....rock my world!
ReplyDeleteExcuse my while I continue gagging.
ReplyDeleteYou need some naked lady energy in your yard. Aphrodite? Thanks for the laugh chickie! x
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up. :)
ReplyDeleteI believe all the lion statues I've seen have been neutered. What a sad, sad life I lead.
ReplyDeleteIn case you didn't know, you can get something called Bumper Nuts to hang from your tow hitch. If you need to give Dave some blue balls for Christmas, here's the link...
http://bumpernuts.com/
You know, there really needs to be a photo of you sitting on the cock rock. Ask Dave to take it. He'd love it ;)
ReplyDeleteThere are no words. I have tears in my eyes. HA!
ReplyDeleteAnd oh geez whiz do I get that whole I couldn't be married to anyone else thing. My Hubby's a weirdo too. We're a perfect match.
My husband Mark says he just likes the lions, not their ballsacks!
ReplyDelete