Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Stockholm Syndrome: Identifying with our Captor.

I laugh how Rocco ... my IVF baby ... would have punched all of the other embryos in the petri dish out of the way. CHOOSE ME, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The doctors chose him. When I was pregnant, "Rocco" was just a nickname we gave the baby. We'd all laugh and say, imagine if we actually named him Rocco!

We actually named him Rocco. It was Dave's choice. I didn't want to - I liked Stan better. But Dave was seriously ill at the time so I gave him full naming privileges. Those first few days in hospital, I was worried that the name "Rocco" was just too tough and hard for such a tiny baby.

Very quickly, I realised that the name "Rocco" may be too soft for this strong-headed, full-on baby. Swear to God, I will not even NOTICE when Rocco becomes a teenager. He was born one - attitude and strength and balls of steel. I'm still in shock at how different he is to Max - how opposite two boys with exactly the same parents can be.

Rocco has been here for three years. He runs circles around all of us .... Dave and I asked Tim to mind him last Saturday, at the Winter Magic Festival. Rocco went missing for half an hour - Tim told me later he was frantic, running around and around, pushing people out of the way, screaming his name. ROCCO!!! He ended up calling the police, who located him a few kilometres up the crowded street - with not a care in the world. He was in a lolly shop. With a kindly lady who asked him where his mum and dad is. "THEY NOT HERE I ROCCO RILEY I WANT LOLLY."

(I will never know who that lady was. And when I think about Rocco waltzing around town by himself I feel sick. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Kindly Lady.)

Tim bolted up and found him in there, calmly chomping on lollies. Tim is almost nineteen and was crying. Rocco is three - not crying.

None of this takes me by surprise. Rocco is the boss of the whole house. I have failed in so many ways, in being his mother. My method now is to just wait until he is five, hopefully he will be more civilised then?

In the meantime, I will shower him with as much love and patience and warmth and support as I can manage. I adore him so much. And, he kind of likes me, too. His hostage.

This parenting thing? Toughest gig in the world. All I dreamed of when I was pregnant with Rocco was quiet, sacred bonding with the baby.

Instead I got Screamy McScreamerson who shit all over the house.

You complete me, Screamy!


  1. He did make a valid point, you didn't say please.

  2. Zomg Beth you are FAST! I did say please at the beginning, in a wheedling voice. But with Rocco, you need to say it seventeen times before he even CONSIDERS putting his pants on before he goes outside.

    And then when he does, it's like a personal favour to ME.

  3. *giggles* I like Screamy McScreamerson. We had a Nini Screami and I always considered it to be lung development exercises.

    Good luck with the five year old civilisation plan!

  4. Hahahaha that is so darn cute.
    My little sister went through a lion phase where she wouldn't talk to anyone for weeks, but would just roar at you and run around on all fours attempting to point to what she wanted. Reminds me a lot of that :)
    Did he get a big, fat lollipop?

  5. Oh, Eden ... and he's so damn cute! My youngest Flynn is the NEGOTIATOR. He will try and negotiate his way in or our of anything. Current fave form of negotiation starts with asking me what's for dinner - as in what have I got planned for the entire week - to work out which meals he likes best - to work out which ones he will actually eat to ensure dessert.

  6. you make me laugh a lot! I too have a child that is living up to the name we gave him serves us right really for naming him Bam! if i gave that kid a club he would hit me over the head,drag me by the hair & throw me out the door for sure!

  7. Eden,

    I'm not kidding when I say that gave me a start!

    Force - yes, may the force be with you and not against you.

    Love you!



  8. Oh my. I would die from fright if that's what I woke up to! We have a very quiet house most of the time. I don't know what I'd do with a little boy like Rocco.

    I thought for sure he was going to demand a huge lollipop for the previous T-Rex screams he'd done that day!

  9. I have a three year old little man too and I'm always surprised at how loud they can be for such little guys! We tend to make more dog noises than T-Rex at our place though!

  10. Say please? The kid is absolute comedy gold. And well mannered to boot.

    We had a Screamy Meamy here too! Which petered out into what's now known round these parts as Whinge World (not party time, not excellent).

    I know that force. I KNOW IT!!!!! Don't be fooled... even the strong, silent types (my girl) have that T-Rex-esque force behind them. Whoa mama. He is one hell of a handsome little boy. Love what he said to the kindly lady (thank you again, Kindly Lady!) x

  11. He truly is the best kid ever. And he may or may not have made me poo my pants a little.
    That noise is blood curdling!

  12. Screamy McScreamy who shit all over the house - classic!! He is absolutely divine!! And I love the name Rocco.

    All our girls are different - nb 1 responds well to ground rules and boundaries. I actively parent her. Nb 2 (who is nearly 3) responds to NOTHING. She rules. I have thrown my hands in the air. I will take your advice and wait until she is five!!

    Nb 3 is our baby. She is nearly 1. I believe we will be her hostages.


  13. PMSL that was great! He frightened Roo a little bit at first, and then she asked "agg-gen" and laughed when he roared! I have a feeling she'll be going around all afternoon roaring now...
    Rocco is definately a force to be reckoned with! It will serve him well as he grows up (and seems to be serving him well now, too!)
    Gorgeous, Eden. And NO WAY have you failed in being his mother. NO WAY. Look how strong and confident he is - you and Dave had a HUGE part in that. HUGE!

  14. The force is strong in that one. Get him a lightsaber or something dude.

  15. That kid is going to rule the universe one day! I'm thinking he's got an awesome role model in you...

  16. But that dimple, you have to forget about the poos and toughness when you see that cute dimple :) He is gorgeous!

    Boo roars at me every morning as soon as I walk in his room, my little Lion.

  17. Ooooh. I can feel the force. On every level.

    He is captivating.


  18. That, was the best minute twenty seven of my life thus far, made better by your trademark laugh at the end. Lord, that kid is great!

  19. Seriously, how much did you just try and bribe him, he's three!

  20. He is awesome!!

    Poor Tim . . . I can only imagine the thoughts running through his brain as he tries to come up with the way to let you know that he had lost Rocco!

  21. There's a ton of cute there.
    Little Danger has a yell, too, and he's almost 1. I don't know that I'm ready for his lungs to get more powerful...he's only hitting velociraptor levels now, we may not be able to take full on T-Rex.

  22. Rocco sounds like my oldest. She is twenty now. She still keeps me as her hostage.

    Her strong will is working out great now as she faces the world full on.

    Losing a child is frightening. I think most parents have experienced that heart-dropping feeling.

  23. Haha, so cute! Hilarious post... love your blog! x

  24. You gave birth to that force because that force was in you all along, my dear one. xoxo

  25. life... this what you gave birth to... and life has a full scream, keeping your heart beating even faster everyday

  26. He's divinely perfect. And that T-Rex roar was terrifying! My boy is a foot stomper...he's two going on 13 and I don't know what to do! Good luck with Screamy, because with that blonde hair, it's hardly the screamies you'll have to worry about but the girlies instead!

    Precious thoughts to you!

  27. Rocco...well Rocco rocks!!! Screamy McScreamerson, too funny and that T rex roar, priceless. The disappearing act,not so funny. I take my hat off to all parents everywhere, you all rock!

  28. I loved this post Eden. It reminded me so much of my Stella - we call her the Stellanator - she completely rules the house and my heart, but also flumoxes me in terms of how to parent her. She is so different to her sister. So cute, so charming, so charasmatic, but at times so unfathomable. She knows I can't work her out and it makes her feel bad and that makes me feel bad too. Bad mother. Love your blog. Much love, Amber


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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