Sunday, 26 June 2011

I had to look the word "style" up in the dictionary.

I don't know what my style is and it's freaking me out.

This weeks theme for the Top 50 Bloggers thingy is "style." Which apparently means ".. a manner of doing something."

I've sat here for an hour now, and I don't know what to say. It's like I'm in year 7 again and I have a whole assignment due tomorrow and haven't started it yet.

So, I thought I'd cheat and see what the other four in the top five wrote this week. GENIUS.

Sandra from $120 Food Challenge stole my heart in her style post with the line "I could never take a compliment, not even from a lover."

Simone from Honey and Fizz did a snappy piece on words and images describing her style.

In writing her post out, Kellie from 1000 Homes of Happiness learnt to start trusting her own style.

And Melissa from One Crafty Mumma .... Mel, can you please postpak me that delicious layer cake in your style post? Thanks.

::

So, my style? I don't know. I've never known. I never gave myself a chance to develop it. If the stunning Nikki from Styling You was asked this question, she could answer it in a FLASH. All through my teens and twenties, I felt less than other people. Everybody just did things better .. did life better. I'm almost 40 and I have so much catching up to do.

I was very dorky at school. I was a shadow child at home. I never fit in anywhere .. and discovered the answer was to fit in EVERYWHERE. So I became a chameleon. New school, new town, new job, new friends ...   I could become all things to all people. I was ROCKIN'. Maybe I still am, a bit. That would explain my lump in my throat. (Why is this so hard?! Perhaps finding your style is like, knowing who you are?)

Dave went to bed just then and I said ... "Quick, hon ... what's my style in one word?"

He shrugged. "Funky? Retro? Dunno, hon."

Useless adjectives.

*Throat clears*

I'm a selfish idiot who often thinks the worst of people and is always surprised when they prove me wrong. I'm fascinated about where you go when you die. I adore being a mother but sweet JESUS I've often counted down the years until our youngest will move out of home. Once I have the house to myself I will be so lonely. I always want to wear groovy stuff but feel dumb so just always end up wearing jeans.

I have a rule that because I wear glasses, I can never wear dangly earrings. Too busy. Some days I think I like shabby stuff but then I like 70's things. I love modern. I love vintage. If I could choose, right now, what kind of place to live in, I would love one of those renovated factory studio apartments. With an industrial feel to it. I had utterly no input in our house design or layout when Dave built it. People were shocked, and I was all, look it's just boring to me. As long as the toilet is separate to the bathroom. Did you know, after you flush your toilet .. it takes seven hours for the particles of toilet water in the air to settle? YUM.

Pineapple does NOT belong on pizza. Chocolate does NOT belong in the fridge. I want to give myself a buzzcut but I don't have the balls. Maybe one day. Making lunch is so boring, I often just eat crackers and cheese or baked beans. I'd like to be buried in an environmentally friendly casket that is decorated by my children. The worms can eat me. Totally organic.

I loathed having red hair as a child - now I love it. This year, I finally allowed myself to accept the fact that I will never be super-organised, with a diary. It was so relieving. I often have to convince people that I do not need to drink to have a good time - I believe my brain was fried a while back so I can have just as much fun as you - often more.

EXAMPLE: Last night I went to karaoke with some other bloggers for a Digital Parents meetup at a kitschy karaoke bar in George Street Sydney. I decided it was up to me to get that party started, with a version of Eminem's "Lose Yourself."

             There's vomit on his sweater already - mums spaghetti

Looking back on the photos, I realised I forgot to put my hair up, and my arms were much skinnier in my head than in real life. I crucify myself in my head every single day ... I suspect a lot of people do. Why are we so mean to ourselves?

I discovered a trick to parenting last week - just BE the age of your kid. I wanted to know how Max was, what he thought, where he was at in the world. So, I just turned myself into nine years old, and we had the biggest chats. It was bloody cool.

I love movies that make me think - with imagery that doesn't stand out like dogs balls. I love music that makes me catch my breath. I hate it when you see someone you know in the supermarket and then you keep seeing them in the aisles - that makes me nervous and sweaty. I can sit in recovery meetings and share my darkest things but crumble inside when I have to do small talk with a stranger. I like things that make me feel tough .. leather jacket, cowboy boots, black tops. I need to feel tough. Finding my style is an ongoing crusade. I'm going to be the best-dressed, most decisive 70 year old you've ever met.

::
So, I have two questions.

1) What's your style in one word? (Mine is "haphazard.")

2) Hypothetically, if you were driving a hypothetical gun metal grey Ford Territory on the way home from karaoke and you went through a hypothetical speed camera and saw the flash light up the sky ... would you own up to the hypothetical competition holders? Or wait and see if you can get away with it?

36 comments:

  1. I just began reading your blog this past week, Eden, so I don’t know you well enough yet to define your style--I do however, love your red hair. My soulmate is a blue-eyed redhead whom I adore partly because we look so different from each other.

    My style:
    * Don’t own jeans-makes getting dressed an adventure when you eliminate that easy 'go-to’.
    * Lots of fluffy hair and big teeth always smiling.
    * Don’t wear dresses-eliminates having to deal with the fancy shoe issue when you wear women’s size 12s.
    * Polish shoes often-black leather goes everywhere.
    * No make-up; very little jewelry.

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  2. Rockin'-eclectic-funk. Own it. You know it. x

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  3. this is like you have been dancing around in MY head! (apart from the husband/kid bits - solo flyer here)

    but i hear you on the rest. loud.and.clear.
    however i think YOU are stylin', woman.
    eden-style.

    rock on. *devil horns*

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  4. Your style - groovy rock chick.

    My style - I don't know, I posted a photo on my latest blog post and I thought I looked *mumsy*. Maybe I should just embrace it.

    Ah speeding, I say no need to say anything in advance but if the ticket arrives and they ask about it then fess up.

    I was a karaoke queen back in the days. I would've loved to hear your rendition of Lose Yourself or a rock ballad of your choice :-D

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  5. I think it's kick ass that you sang karaoke. I couldn't sing a karaoke song in front of my kids let alone in a bar although I aspire to someday.
    My style is spontaneous and not in an "impulsive and ready for adventure" sort of way. More of an, "oh crap, I have an appointment in 30 minutes that I've known (or should have)about for 3 months, let me throw on my raggedy jeans, put uncombed hair in a ponytail and be 20 minutes late to everything" way. I'm getting close to 40 myself and aside from that, I have no idea who I am.
    I think your writing is really amazing.

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  6. I was nodding all the way through your post. I am one of those people whose 'style' changes daily depending on my mood.

    Reading the environmentally friendly coffin made me think of my favourite lyrics by Jim Morrison; 'Don't let me die in an automobile, I want to lie in an open field, I want the snakes to suck my skin, I want the worms to be my friends, I want the birds to eat my eyes as here I lie the clouds fly by'. Morbid, yes. Genius, yes.

    I must say though that I love pineapple on pizza and chocolate in the fridge! Cold pineapple on pizza is even better!

    I stand by my twitter comment; I fucking live you ;)

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  7. Ha! Mine would be called 'black or white' A long long story but I'm taking a year-long sabbatical from seeking approval for what I am wearing. You know - trying to be trendy, trying fit in but not stand out. I'm done with beating myself about fashion faux pas and wearing something that is 'so last year'. Screw it. Black or white. For a year.
    Nah. Own up to the ticket. Frame it and remember the night.

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  8. I found your blog about a week ago and have enjoyed reading your posts immensely. I LOVE your style and you clearly have it in my eyes. The word that came to mind for you is eclectic. You have a wonderful voice and I am glad that I stumbled upon you...

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  9. I'm new to reading your blog, but every one gives me great pleasure. Especially this morning, reading this one. I saw myself so much in this post. I think I would have to describe my style as "bi-polar" since most days I just wear what I feel and I never really know what's trendy or even what looks good on me. I figure, if I feel good and I'm at least making some sort of an effort to look clean and put together, then I'm doing ok.

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  10. My style in one word: Striving. As in always striving to look cool, collected and uncreased, usually failing.

    Speed camera- tricky one!! Fess up you will feel better and with any luck there will not have been any actual film in there and you might get away with it.

    Love this post, and your right we are all too mean to ourselves.

    Your style is honest - that in my book is style with real substance.

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  11. I so relate to your comment about getting sweaty and nervous when you keep seeing the people you know in the supermarket aisles. The first time, I make a joke. The second time, I smile. The third time, I've already skipped an aisle in hopes of not having to go through it again and SO DID THEY and then it's just plain awkward.

    My style is Hippie/50's Mum with a bit of Spice Girls Glitter thrown in. Cos that mesh's really well together, you know.

    Pineapple enhances most food. I even like pineapple on my pineapple.

    I love your blog. I can come here and go, "Oh look, someone else feels as silly/worried/guilty etc, as I do and it's all right." Thanks for that.

    I have learnt not to crucify myself all the time. Mostly because it is too exhausting. Which sort of translates as being too lazy to crucify myself... So I'll just end that thought and look at something shiny. :-D

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  12. I think style comes from the inside out.

    It might explain why you choose "tough" clothes. You have had to tough it out for awhile now. You wore the armor.

    Vintage, retro style is your sentimental side. Your softer side.

    Haphazard is you being mean to yourself, again. Quit that.

    1. Practical.

    2. I would wait for a phone call. It may not be a big deal. They must have thought all of that through. Right?

    ~crow

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  13. I liked that someone else said your style is just Eden. What more does there need to be?

    Mine is comfort. I try to look at least somewhat cute at the same time. I feel like I'm dressing up when I wear jeans. I wish I could live in pajamas. But apparently it's tacky. Whatever.

    Btw, pineapple IS TO good on pizza! And as for the speeding? Just wait and see what happens...

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  14. my style is like yours, different everyday. lately its too damn hot to wear jeans so in 105 degrees...whatever is cool is my style. and goes with the pool.

    and i'm totally with just jennifer in wearing pajamas all the time, maybe the trick for us is to get super cute pajamas?

    i'd wait and see if they caught me.

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  15. I am feeling like a fucking GURU now, let me tell you, because the word that popped into my head for your style Eden, was "eclectic" and then I see that the real style guru Nicki already wrote that, so I think I am IT now, I tell you.

    "I finally allowed myself to accept the fact that I will never be super-organised, with a diary. It was so relieving"

    If you finally allowed yourself to really like love accept all the quirky funny tough loveableness that is Eden, would that be reliving too?

    xxx

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  16. You my friend are definately an eclectic mix of gloriously complicated and straight-up all at once.

    My style would be warm pragmatic self-sacrificer with a side of focused.

    Your question number two -I think you hypothetically just answered that yourself.

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  17. Perception is such a funny thing. I read your posts and I love your outlook and passion for life. I love that you just live. I love that you put all the stuff a lot of us think but don't have the guts to say in words.

    As for style, you're Eden. Eden-style. I don't think it needs a name.

    My own style? Well, it changes day to day. One moment, it's all retro floral frocks, the next it's black and boots. Most of the time it's just whatever is clean. Most of all I think the best word for it is dorky!

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  18. Oh my god look at us all, just trying to get through. Fumbling. Together. I found it so hard to write this post, maybe because there are still parts of me I am running away from. Thank you.

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  19. Hypothetically?.. I'd wait... But eclectic procrastinator is my style.... ;) Great to see you Sat xx

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  20. Your style - Individual. Isn't that what we're all supposed to be? Me? I still don't know so stick with black. Makes matching WAY easier. the shopping thing - here's a tip. Jump ahead a few aisles and flick 'em - it's what I do ! And the traffic light - duck and weave baby.

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  21. for me it depends on who I want to be on the day...

    somes days I want to be "the librarian", others "the hippy mummy", or even "the sexy mumma"... some days I don't get out of PJ's - so I guess that is a "I-don't-give-a-fuck" day.

    so I guess My style is eclectic... bit like how I like my books, music and movies...

    I know I'm not a slave to fashion. I wear what I like - when I want to. and that includes dangling errings with glasses :D

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  22. for you? You oozed funkiness and pizazz on Saturday night. Your personality is huge it engulfed and lit up the room. Style is about so much more than the exterior, it's what's inside too. And it's ok for it to change because we are changing all the time so why not our style too?

    Me? I am definitely still working out who I am. I'm told it comes with age, that comfort in who you are, but I feel so behind in even that. Everyone in my life definitely calls me unique. I do march to my own beat, a square peg in a round hole.

    And hypothetically? I am sure it was the hypothetical car behind the hypothetical you ;)

    New follower! Yay finally!!

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  23. I don't think I have any style but you Eden have it in droves. I was discussing you with a client today and said you were kinda a Newtown, Inner City type. Funky, Edgy etc

    It will probably be three months until you get that letter in the mail anyway and then you can plead 'driving a new car and not knowing where I was going'.

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  24. My style is. Well I don't know. Anal. Crazy. Vintage. TRY HARD. It's a tricky one that's for sure. I reckon your style is edgy rock MOFO with a touch of TORLET thrown in for good measure.

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  25. I agree 100% about the glasses and dangly earings. they should never be worn together- ever.
    I dont know what my style is. I might blog about it. hmm...

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  26. Your style unique just to you and you know what? That is the style we all want to be able to have but are often afraid too.(probably the reason your blog is so popular)

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  27. Is baby spew a style? Because if it is, I totally rock that shit out. My style is in hibernation along with all of my other clothes thanks to baby weight. Or less baby weight and more that I've replaced cigarettes with cake. But if I was more myself it would be anything eclectic I guess. I love finding something that's unique, instead of just the cookie cutter things that everyone else has going on. I ignore fashion mostly, unless it agrees with me.

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  28. I would love for my style to be described as put together, but I know I am anything but that. To me that just seems like you have your shit figured out. Ahhhh, I would love to have my shit figured out!

    Fumbling or struggling is probably a more accurate description though.

    Great post as usual, E. :-)

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  29. Oh I just love it! My style? Chuck a scarf on and hope for the best xx

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  30. I love you Eden...you make me feel like I am not alone...

    June

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  31. Before joining the public blogging world I always wondered why you are so popular, then I met you saturday and realised why. Your adjective is: LEGEN -- wait for it -- DARY. LEGENDARY. Word.

    So glad to meet you in person red-haired funky momma.

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  32. 1. Eclectic
    2. Wait and see

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  33. 1. All over the place, depends on what I want to sat to the world.

    2. Wait and see... hypothetically speaking.

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  34. Ha. Maybe you should write my blog for me. You excel at this vulnerability thing!

    This post makes me smile because for weeks I've been quoting your vlog from a while back about going to the school pickup time and aiming for "creatively messy". I'm trying to add some more creative to my messy these days because of having watched that.

    My style is a bit multiple-personality-disordered. I think deep down, I have a really classic style, but then I feel too conservative and am always trying to funk or hippie it up somehow. Though lately, with toddlerhood in full force, I've accepted we are in the filthy years, and everything is going to be absolutely encrusted and stinking by day's end. It's quite freeing, really...

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  35. Mate your style is like Kenicki's 'the rules are there ain't no rules'. Read thru your own blog and you'll find your style. Raw, edgy, prepared to show ugliness but that's totally usurped (did I really just write usurped) by the overabundant beauty. Your style is to approach life like a kid, and that my friend, is a fucking stylish approach xxx

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  36. My style? You've stumped me. "different" I guess would work! Different to everything.

    Meanwhile I was totally killing it as your backup over in the corner... I have a little Eminem crush xo

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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