Saturday, 14 May 2011

We Are All Made of Stars

              Photo from the awesome morgueFile

On Monday morning I drove two hours down to Sydney, thinking my man bladder could cope. I was wrong. By the time I hit Parramatta Road I was busting. In the Cross City Tunnel I was in agony, and by the time I hit Double Bay I knew I was going to wet my pants.

I haven’t wet my pants for decades, and wondered what it was going to feel like. Flicking the radio off I crouched, gasped, breathing like a mofo, over the steering wheel. Suddenly, some public toilets appeared before me like a beacon of Hope. THANK YOU GOD. Miraculously swinging my car into the car park, getting out and staggering like I was walking over hot coals, not caring who saw. Didn’t even lock my car.

When I finally let go of that wee?


Not long into it, a man shouted into the women’s toilets. "Anybody in here?"

“Um, yeah.” He was probably a cleaner. He was definitely in for a long wait. Kingdoms were lost and won in the time it took for me to complete that wee. I remember being a young girl, listening to older ladies do the longest wees and I found it so repulsive.

I am a repulsive older lady. When I finally finished, I came out of the stall and watched in the mirror as I braced myself - for the tyre iron to belt me in the face when “the cleaner” stole my purse.

It didn’t happen! I didn’t piss my pants! Best day ever already.

There was a bum sitting on a bench right next to my car. I walked past, looked at him drinking his Riesling straight from the bottle. I could tell he wanted to say something to me so I kind of stood there, waiting.

“You …” he lolled his head around, shut one eye, then finished. “You are a fucking SLUT!”

Except he didn’t just say SLUT, he said SEEELUT for added effect.

I thought it was the funniest thing. He continued.

 “With yer fucken four wheel drive and yer fucken BABEEEEE in it. Fucking. Seeelut.”

I said mate, I don’t have a baby in my car! How are you doin’today, anyway?”

Instantly he changed, and laughed, his face crinkled into a smile. “Hahahaha oh love! I dunno how I’m gonna get home!” I said mate – where do you live? He laughed and pointed a short distance away.

“Just over there! AHAHAHA!!”

We laughed together. It was Rosebay – something told me he hasn’t shared a laugh with too many people today. He told me he was from Alice Springs. I said I’d never been there, but I’ve heard it’s amazing. He was so drunk he kept talking over me, but desperate for me to talk to him at the same time. I told him it was a beautiful day. I told him – “Mate! You’ve got it bloody good, sittin’ in the sun with your radio, watching the day!”

He looked up at me, fair square in the eyes. “Oh sweetheart. I’m FUCKED.”

I leant over close to him. I had so much compassion – I know exactly where he is, in that Lost and Hopeless place. I spoke directly from my Spirit to his Spirit. “Mate – we’re all fucked!

And we had the last laugh, together, standing in the ritzy park next to the fancy boats. The bemused hoity toity businessmen and the hot mums with babies steering WAY clear of us.

 I finally got to my sister Linda’s house in Bondi, regaling her with stories of wee and alcoholics and Hope. I’ve thought about that beautiful bum ever since.

One day, I hope we all can see that there is no us and them. There is only us.


A continued big fat thank you for the overwhelming response to the Every Little Thing post. It was even featured on the awesome Schmutzie's Five Star Friday site. Sadly, Blogger has been down for over a day - preventing new comments, and losing a large chunk of the comments already there. Vee is watching and reading with amazement, every single comment that comes in. Me too. And Alexandra. Cancer touches a lot of people, you know? Sucks, man.


  1. I bet you looked quite a sight - laughing with the bum in the park. Quite a week you've been having - guerilla art installation and now social work. Nice.

  2. Eden, I love this post so much. You are truly a gift to the world, just as you were a gift to that man. I reckon he doesn't get much spirit to spirit laughs. xoxox

  3. Loved it, 'Mate, we are all fucked'. Pure empathy and compassion.

    You remind me of Christmas Day 2002, when I walked along the beaches. A man, who lived in a little beach cave, was visited by many well-off looking people and given food, chats and wishes for Christmas. The images will never leave me.

  4. Oh my God - areyoukiddingme, you just made almost wet my pants AGAIN. I *am* a Guerilla Art Installer slash Social Worker. It's like, my job. When I drove past a bottle shop later, I almost bought him a new bottle of riesling to take back - but I COULDN'T TRUST MYSELF TO NOT DRINK IT. (I sure wasn't writing THAT in the fucking post - I have an image to uphold.)

  5. Cripes, it sucks getting older! I am now the proud owner of the world's smallest bladder...

    So nice of you to show that man some kindness. Probably a long time since someone did. Although I must say, I was afraid that story was gonna end with you offering him a ride!

  6. I always finish your posts with such an uplifted spirit, and usually with a smile on my face.
    I would never have stopped and spoken to that man, especially if he had called me a "seee-lut". i would have been terrified and scampered away. This is why the world needs people like you

  7. I think you're my new girl crush! I adore this, and indeed, every story you share. We are INDEED ALL FUCKED, all of us. xxxx

  8. Where's your NASA space nappy woman! That is so true. Do you know what else my husband and I have kind of come to conclude? All extended families are fucked too. Even the good ones.

    Loved it x

  9. ok, so I didn't cry in your every little thing post, but this one did me... tears are rolling are so brave.

  10. You.
    Over and over.

  11. I love this. I love the way you walk so blithely through the world being a million different things at once. The junkies and misfits and crazies and bums were my people once and I hate that I turned my back on them to walk in the light. I hate that the only place I can be myself is my blog and even then it feels weird and like it's going to get me in a buttload of trouble one day.

  12. You will have made that guys day some much brighter. Love how your brave like that, I don't think I would have been so brave. Next time I will, we are all made of stars. I now have that Moby song in my head. x

  13. HAHA!!

    Awesome post. I just love the way you describe the world and what you see :)

  14. What a shame this all is, yes! It is.

  15. "There is only us"...What a great thought! Again, what a wonderful post! Thank you for reminding us that we are all in this together. Have a wonderful day!
    P.S. Sorry you lost some of your comments for the greatest post ever. Hope they are still in your memory and your heart!

  16. Im glad I found you Eden. You are a fucking national treasure.

  17. You are a warrior in the BEST sense of the word. The planet is a better place because of you! Thanks

  18. "Hear the words of the Star Goddess, the dust of Whose feet are the hosts of Heaven, whose body encircles the universe. I Who am the beauty of the green earth and the white moon among the stars and the mysteries of the waters, I call upon your soul to arise and come unto me. For I am the soul of nature that gives life to the universe. From Me all things proceed and unto Me they must return." Starhawk.

  19. Just beautiful.

  20. Oh Eden, what a gorgeous, lovely story.

  21. This is why I love you Eden. How awesome are you? You probably made this dude's week. And totally relate to urgently needing a loo stop en route to somewhere. I find fast food outlets remarkably handy for this reason.

  22. What a beautiful post. And I hate having to use the bathroom when driving - especially if there's traffic and you can't go anywhere!

  23. What a touching story. And you are so right, we are all the same, no matter what divisions we create amongst ourselves. Not to get all, "We are the world", but just imagine what the world would be like if everyone thought this way...

    BEAUTIFUL. (My imaginary world, and your post)

  24. It makes me love you even more, that you can look at the homeless man and still see a man...and to know that is true, we are all in this world together. They were once 'us' and at any moment, we could become 'them'

  25. This is so wonderful. I read this and your other recent posts days ago and cannot stop thinking about it and how wonderful you are. I love this encounter you have had and shared with us. You are awesome.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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