Sunday, 1 May 2011

Those Boys

I spent the 1990's in a drunken stupor.

One day in August, 1997 I'd started drinking early. Sometime in the afternoon, I went into my bedroom to put socks on, because my feet were cold. The room was doing its usual spin, so I had to sit down on the bed and concentrate.

My boyfriend walked in to announce that Princess Diana was dead. I was angry, told him it was NOT funny. Unfortunately it wasn't a joke, and I spent days - weeks, a sobbing mess next to the TV. Those boys. Those boys.

I'd catch the train to my awesome receptionist job and back, desperately wishing the world could get rewound, back in time, so Di could put her seatbelt on. She literally died of a broken heart, in a French hospital called "Pity." It was all so terrible and poetic.


My mother, my grandmother ... and I dare say my great-grandmother Maudie B. were all huge Royal fans. I watched the Royal Wedding in 1981, back in the olden days. Mum taped it, it was so long she needed two VHS tapes. They stayed in our video cabinet for many years, clearly labelled. I remember when Di fell pregnant with William; she even brought him with her to Australia in 1983 when he was just nine months old. Baby William looked strikingly similar to my own brother, who was just a bit older.

Even as her whole world was crumbling, nothing was more evident than the immense love she had for those two boys.

Years later, after my grandmother died, we were all allowed to choose one item of hers. I chose her Charles & Di Engagement Commemorative Tea Tin. I loved how she kept it all these years, long after their divorce.

Watching Diana's funeral on TV I was completely devastated. 25 years old, completely devastated ... and kind of wondering why I was completely devastated at the death of a distant princess. I remember grief experts talking on the news about how her death was triggering a lot of unresolved grief in many people.


Wills and Harry grew up. I'm just so proud of both of them. They are warm, welcoming .. with big hearts and strength to match. I knew I'd cry when I watched the wedding last night. I wondered if Di was watching, then decided that of course she was, and she has been watching her boys grow up this whole time.

I made a special meal to celebrate - behold, the Crown Rack of Lamb Roast!

                                           Fatty. But yummy.

Hot Dollar had run out of tiaras, so I had to make do with my tea cosy. My convict heart was BURSTING with pride.

Seeing those boys both walk to the car to go to the church. That red suit. The nervousness, and the beautiful smiles. I watched Harry looking in awe at Kates beauty, as she finally met William at the altar. They all looked like kids playing dress-ups. From the best dress-up box on the planet.

I lost a few twitter followers from my annoying live-tweeting, but come ON. It's not too often you're on twitter and the use of a hashtag is not necessary. It was so fun - a global, digital slumber party. Everybody was talking about it.

I cried, secretly, so the boys couldn't see. Sitting on my beanbag as close to the fire as humanly possible, without burning myself. It's so sad they were robbed of their mother. It's so sad I was robbed of my father. Same tears.

I ate three lemon puddings straight out of the oven. In quick succession. I almost vomited ... but I didn't. I didn't vomit! A convict heart with iron guts.


I am blessed to have my own two boys. I intend on being there for them forever.

Nice try 90's, but eating ice cream at 5pm on a freezing autumn day in the Blue Mountains? Now THAT'S living dangerously.


  1. Wonderful post! Thank you for the photos of Diana and the boys, I also watched the first wedding and the second. As I watched Wills and Harry enter the church I thought "my God I remember when you were born". It was sort of surreal. I miss Diana too, her beauty and kindness. But all you have to do is look at Will. I see Diana when I look at him.

    Your roast and tea cozy looked awesome!

  2. Same tears indeed...




  3. Yes! Yes you said it so well. Now I know why I too was somewhat sad even though I saw a couple in love marry.... It was the "missing mummy" of the dear sons who'd followed their mother's casket into the same chamber as they walked together to await Kate.. Where has that time gone........ Gone just gone.
    But I saw a sparkle of light & bright on their wedding day. Happy Couple!
    Love your writing... ps slight typo in post ( blame 1am writing.. 2007 should be 1997... Ok .. Shhhh!) love Denyse xxx

  4. I missed you -- glad you're back!

    Sorry about your dad and their mum. It is something, this thing called time. It's supposed to heal all wounds and hopefully wound all heels! Still waiting to see some of those heels wounded!

  5. I thought the royal wedding was stupid. I thought this post was not. You and your boys made me cry and your tea cozy on your head made me laugh my ass off. Even my very British husband thought it was laughable. That's an accomplishment.

  6. I have always felt so DANG SAD for those boys.

    She was so young when she married and walked into a minefield.

    Only 19.


    Remember when they walked behind her casket?

    Oh my gaa. I thought I was going to have to pull my heart out of my chest to stop the pain.

  7. she died when i was four.
    i don't remember any of it.
    but now it makes me so sad and i don't even know why.

  8. I saw Princess Diana once pass by in a car when I was living in London in 1996. I was so sad when she died. When I found out my boyfriend (now husband)knew for hours and didn't call to tell me I yelled at him.

    I always wanted to meet her.

  9. Oh we are soul sisters indeed, I mocked this wedding...yes I mocked it. I was avoiding recalling the wonderful memories of my childhood with Mum waking us up at 5am here in Canada to get dressed to have tea and watch Princess Di get married to "Chuck". Mum is still around and the memories are great but sighh it's the bullshit panic feelings of almost dying in the car wreck last year.

    I watched the wedding SOBBING over Princess Di not being there for her boys...comparing it to the fact I could have thrown my life away with the booze, or died in the car wreck and left my girls with no Mum to have these memories..

    My girls thought I went around the bend with my crying...saying to them how lovely Kate looked ;)

  10. This American also loved Diana what a strong and lovable person she was and yes I watched the Wedding and also remember watching Princess Di's wedding also..makes me feel old :)

  11. Great post as always Eden. Your lamb has me drooling all over this ipad. That's a bit gross. Big love xx

  12. it was an AWESOME night. And if you lost some twitter followers... I say fuck em. They weren't worthy of your awesomeness.

  13. Well said, Eden. I too watched Diana's wedding, and sadly --- much too soon --- funeral. Always thinking of the boys. I have one a couple years younger than Wills. Di's boys are just lovely. What every mother hopes for. Kate looked so beautiful and they seem so easy together. God grant them a long, long time together. I didn't cry, but just know she's somewhere near feeling proud.

    Your lamb looks divine -- like my mother would have prepared for special days. Ah, there's that pain of loss --- miss her.

    Thanks for a wonderful, as always, post.

  14. I sobbed as they drove to the abbey. I sobbed for them but I also sobbed for Diana so much. For all she went through, for all she was cheated out of with such an awful end of a life cut short.

  15. This is such a wonderfully unique royal wedding wrap up! I feel like we have all watched over those boys from afar, so heartbroken for them and wishing such well deserved happiness to come their way.

    Wishing you many MANY years to watch over your own beautiful boys xx

  16. loved the wedding, love the boys who have grown up to be the most handsome and upstanding of men.

    never was a fan of Di, never will be.

    that lamb looks beautiful!


  17. While I watched the wedding, the very same thing was running through my head, and I wound up with a giant lump in my throat. The kids were at school, but the second they got home, I held them for a moment. They were confused and a little wiggly, but I didn't care!

  18. Wonderful tribute to a Princess, to Mothers and to grown children who carry a hole in their heart in the shape of their Fathers. ~crow

  19. Love this. LOVE IT. You got it.

  20. I hear you on this. Those boys walking that long, lonely road behind their mother's coffin had me sobbing into my tea. Is a beautiful post, my friend. All mothers of boys salute you.

  21. Thank you for your words, your responses. I knew I wasn't the only one .. that there were many people out there who have their own experiences and feelings around it all. Hearing the "younger kids" of today talk, not knowing who anybody in the Royal family is, makes me feel OLD.

  22. I cried too - back then, but don't tell anyone. It was just too tragic.

    I'm impressed by your rack of lamb and obviously, your tea cosy is stunning. You know how to celebrate in style, Eden.

  23. I was listening to the idiots, I mean commentators, on the news channels talking about how this wedding made the British monarchy relevant again. I don't know about that, but for those of us old enough to remember their whole story, I think it brings some closure - some belief again that a happy ending is possible.

    Can I come to dinner next time you make rack of lamb?

  24. I was also devastated when she died, balled my eyes out as well. I could not freaking believe it! I haven't seen Di and Charles wedding since it happened way back when. But I watched the replay of their wedding on Fri and it was SO obvious how sad he was and how nervous as fuck she was. Walking into the Lion's den, and she hadn't a clue as she was a baby. It was very hard to watch, knowing what was coming her way later on... And those boys of hers are incredible! I love Harry and his naughtiness! And he did look at Kate like OMG, OMG! Just like I did, because she looked amazing!! William is a lucky boy, as is she. I hope their future holds WAY less drama then his mums did!
    Great post, great pics! Lisa

  25. this is the first post of yours that I have ever read. And I must say, I feel a tightening in my chest after reading, I remember the morning after Diana's death so vividly too - i was 19 and woke my boyfriend of the time up to tell him. We too were both hungover as i recall, but this wasn't why i felt sick. And yes, i felt pain for those boys. but now i feel almost proud of them.

    I think in a long winded way I am trying to say that I understand this post. Completely

    Gill xo


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...