Thursday, 21 April 2011

It's MY social media and I'll get it wrong if I want to.

Deus ex machina ... "God from the machine."

                                       Blogging from my typewriter

Years ago, I would sit next to Dave in bed and talk to him about blogging. And how much I loved it. He humoured me, mostly. Next Tuesday, it will be exactly four years since I wrote myself into the internet with this cracker first sentence:

"Hello. I can't seem to work out where I belong (ha!)"


I do twitter all wrong. I still don't understand what it's for - sometimes I get it and I'm in the groove, other times I'm flailing and paranoid ... and think that everybody else is in on the party except me. I'm having huge trouble getting to sleep lately, so I go on it in a manic state and then wake up with a twitter hangover. Considering locking myself out of my own account - it's a strange beast. And the addictive nature of it makes me feel uneasy. On the other hand, twitter is one of the most valuable and real sources of news out there. People were tweeting from Libya, Iran, Egypt ... real people, just like you and me. Telling the real truth. Amazing.

I'm going to Kerri Sackville's book launch next Thursday, down in Sydney. Dave asked me how I knew her. "Um, I met her through twitter." He looked at me incredulously. "You met her through TWITTER? What? What is twitter anyway?" Before I explain it he pretends to write on an imaginary keyboard and talks in a stupid stilted robot voice: "I am going to have a cup of tea now."

So I wrote on my imaginary keyboard with my stupid stilted voice: "My husband is not invited and has to stay at home to mind the children. Suck-O."


I still have the word "blogspot" in my URL. Which is apparently supposed to be embarrassing. I've had my eye on purchasing for a while now ... recently somebody else bought it, and will sell it to me. For $5000. I'm trying to take it as a compliment, but man I was annoyed. I bought and just in case. The guy from the domain company asked me why was I buying my own name domains? And I didn't know what to say. And he asks "Is it brand protection?"

I laughed so, so hard. SO HARD.

Am I a brand, now? You know the thing about social media - people try so hard to be brands, and brands try so hard to be people. I'm just trying to .... keep my head above water in the world, and for some reason blogging helps me do that.


The head honcho from the Blogger team at Google asked me to come and speak at their offices last month. I asked him who else was going - "Oh nobody Eden. Just you."

What? It was very flattering, and strange. I almost didn't make the meeting ... but Mrs Woog went too, thank God. After I told her some choice dark secrets in the car on the way - Woogs, we have to always be friends. You know too much.

So, sitting at Sydney's Google offices that day was very cool. But there was this one guy at the front, with a French accent. His name was Marc, and he could not BELIEVE that I don't take ads on my blog. He was so persistent .. "But .. but, what is your number? How much money would it take for you to turn adsense on? $500 a month?" I kind of half-said maybe, and Woogs next to me was all, "NO WAY." And I said, oh, oh no. No way.

He came up after the talk, badgered again. "What is your number, Eden?" I laughed, and told him I had to think about it. I emailed a few days later.

"Ok, I've been thinking hard about it. In exchange for ads on my site, I'd really like .... a pony. HA! Just kidding. What I'd really like, is a hot dog stand."

I'm still waiting, google.


I'm this > < far away from final approval to receive full sponsorship to fly to America in August to attend BlogHer. Mrs Woog and I went to Sydney last week to talk about the finer details. This will be an Australian first, and I am beyond excited about it.

Things like this can help me with things like the 11th May, where I show you what I've been working on for the monthly Year of Turning 40 posts I've been doing. Two other amazing women are involved in this one ... it's one of the most meaningful things I've ever done, both online and off.


There's a lot of awards and competitions going on down here in Australia. Companies and brands are waking up. Aussie Home Loan Finder recently ran a "Best Aussie Mummyblogger with the X-Factor" competition. They stood out by hiring a caricature artist to turn photos like this:

Into this:

                                  I've always wanted to be a brunette

The stunning Glowless eventually won the iPad2. It was very savvy of them - mum blogging has nothing to do with home loans, and yet the traffic that stampeded (and crashed) their site really helped their google ranking.


I get emailed and pitched a lot of things .. yesterday I was emailed about the Telstra Messages of Support Event for Anzac Day on Monday. I will send a message to the Aussie troops, and I'm mentioning it here because my grandfather fought in the war and Anzac Day has always been a big deal in my family.

Bec from the Childs i Foundation randomly emailed me a while ago, and we've stayed in touch ever since. She will be at Balmain Markets this Saturday to sell necklaces and bracelets like this:

A perfect gift for Mothers Day. "Every little bit helps, just $10 made from selling a necklace can buy a newborn jumpsuit for the babies who arrive sometimes only weighing 1 kilo."

People actually doing things in the world that means things ... that's where my "platform" my "blogging career" is taking me.

Even though I fail at twitter and I can't remember my password to get into LinkedIn. I'm completely inappropriate on facebook. Sometimes I don't post for days because - I just need to stay off the internet for the love of God. I forget to tweet my posts, have no idea how to take a screenshot of something, and never really learnt SEO. Stats scare me, so I only look at them about once a month. I need to add a PR tab here somewhere, but I keep forgetting. I need to import Disqus so that I can reply to comments properly .... the comments you leave, here. My God. I just want to set up a camping bed and sleep in there, most nights. Thank you so much. You people have big hearts and wise minds. I like you a lot.

So. In conclusion, blogging is heating up down here in Australia. About bloody time.

 ... and four years on, I still can't seem to work out where I belong. (ha!)


  1. You belong right, and write, where you are.

    I would hug you, but I know that makes you ick.

    If Google wanted me, I would turn a cartwheel in their office.


  2. What is that saying... "Well behaved women rarely make history?" Rock on sister.

  3. Nodding furiously.

    It took me 4 months to put google analytics in the blog and now that I have it, I have no idea what it means.

    I twitch every time I receive another notification from linked in that someone wants to "link up" as I know my details are completely out of date as I accidently deleted 2006 onwards and really can't be fagged going back and doing it again.

    I verbally throw up all over twitter and then get distracted and come back three hours later and realize I must have just looked like I got bored and left mid conversation.....who does that?!

    Don't even get me started on advertising, recently an airline asked if I'd be interested in having them advertise on the blog and my answer said it all "sure, just give me a couple of months to work out how it all works, I'm sure I'm not meant to be on blogspot but I just don't know why....can I get back to you?"

    It's amateur hour over here but I'm hoping I'll work it all out.

    Once again, a brilliant post...and yes, we are still watching the Eden dance on a daily basis.


  4. My love you can only do it in Sinatra Fashion 'Your way'. Your way works for you - deeply regimented or haphazard - that's your own special formula - don't bugger with it!

    WTF is someone buying your domain for? Freaking cheeky! You should do and do a redirection my love... you will always be fashionable to me!

  5. You're doing it right, Eden ... by just being yourself. My husband doesn't understand Twitter either ... see you at the launch!

  6. good for you !. I am more of a twitter fan then a facebook fan but use both anyway, I find it quite amazing tweeting people that I have never met before on there a bit like reading blogs and so on. Keep up the good work too.

  7. Shamozal: If you ever film your kids dancing to my dance, I will put it up here. I tried to film Rocco -but he had a tantrum, "NO! STOP DANCING MUMMY WAHHHH!" Because I am only allowed to have fun on his terms.

    Liss: I have no idea why someone bought it, kinda weird. Totally wrecked my Edenland "brand" hah! Thanks mate xo

    Lucy: I want to see that cartwheel.

    Crow: I'm off to add you to my blogroll right NOW, you fascinating creature.

    Ok I have replied to everyone so far! I win at social media!

  8. I think that the pony must come with a custom saddle hand tooled with the EDENLAND logo.

  9. Kenickie: Can't wait to see you!

    Sam: I think the real turning point for twitter is when you actually meet people in real life, from twitter. It's never the same again. I just commented on your blog.

    PEW PEW I am a comment replying KING this arvo. I solemnly swear to reply to all comments on this post.

  10. Alex: ROFLCOPTERS oh yeah. Poor Marc - he just didn't get it.

  11. I do not understand twitter, facebook freaks me out a bit, I only just discovered blogging. Talk about a technophobe.
    The internet has given me the attention span of a goldfish, so I like the fact that you do not have adverts, I come here to read what you write and not get distracted by shiny adverts. Good luck with your sponsorship. Take care.

  12. My blog is so bloody amateur. The top banner does not fit, there are heaos of spelling mistakes. I do not know what Analytics is. Facebook scares me so SawHole runs it. I love twitter but cannot explain to Mr Woog what it is or how it works. I put disquss on because someone told me to then I almost died when all the comments left me. Do not even start me on Stumble Across - fucked if I know what that is.... I thought SEO was someone who ran a company.
    You and me hanging out with 3000 bloggers at Blogher? Our bullshit factor will have to be turned up to high x

  13. You rock -- and Mrs. Woog too! Thank you for keeping me sane during a difficult transition time. I love, love, love what you do just the way you do it! Rock on -- Endenland forever (branded or not)!

  14. "You know the thing about social media - people try so hard to be brands, and brands try so hard to be people" That is the most profound shit I've ever heard.

    I have no idea where you belong, I don't even know where I belong. If you figure yours out, will you please let me know?

    You seriously don't know how to screenshot? I'll show you. It's way easy.

    And if you do nothing else this month, add the Disqus thing to your birthday month thing. You totally need it, WE totally need it. Everyone who has ever commented on your blog totally needs it. GOOGLE COMMENTS SUCK MY ASSHOLE.

  15. I love this post.
    I love you- you are gonna be a STAR I tell ya!
    I have no idea how any of the techinical blog stuff works at all!! I dont know ANYTHING about the israeli blogging community.. I def dont think my blog is interesting AT ALL. I need to do a post on your blog... maybe let it all loose.

  16. I don't pretend to be very interested in the technical stuff but I love the blogging side. I especially love meeting bloggers like you who write so outstandingly and that I'm just a tad in love with. I'm struggling with lots of the things you wrote about here Eden, thank you so much for making me feel, well, not so alone. And YAYNESS for the trip to the USA! That's is bloody fantastic x

  17. Exciting times! Can't wait to hear about Blogher.

  18. I am still working out Twitter as well google analytics i am not tech savvy at all LOL...
    you are doing great and what ~ Do any of us know where we belong???

    trying to really learn HTML so i can move to WP blah blah blah hehehehe

  19. You're not kidding about Australia heating up on the blogside! I think a decent percentage of the blogs I read are on your side of the world.
    Good thing being human is universal!

  20. I love your quote about God from the machine. That's the awesome thing about blogs, when we read them it's like we feel God from our computers (machines). The connections are very real. The reader feels the love (God) from the writer, and the writer feels the love (God) from the commenters. Well...most of the time. :)

  21. I love your posts and look forward to reading them. Congratulations on 4 years!

  22. I cannot wait to see you on Thursday. CANNOT WAIT. You, Eden, belong. You made yourself an Eden-shaped hole in the blogosphere AND the twitterverse and only you can fill it. Never leave.

  23. Here's my method of screen shot -> Hit the PrntScrn (Or as mine says PrtSc) button, open a Word/Paint/Photoshop document(or whatever they're called) and past from the clipboard. I doubt that's the best way to do it, but it usually works. Also, right clicking.

    I'd say you've got the whole social media thing down...

  24. I feel the same! But you, you get to go through all this in AUSTRALIA! I mean, if you feel overwhelmed, you can go cuddle with a koala bear.

  25. You're just a little bit contagious Eden. Good luck with all of your exciting happenings.
    Am now following you. Happy Easter!

  26. I love seeing your neweset post show up on my browser when I hit the "Next" button from Google Reader - and I found instructions for THAT through a blog. Go me! I'm not technically brilliant by any means, but I like to pretend I am and then when anyone asks me a question I suddenly remember that I forgot to tell them this really funny thing that happened to me/the kids did the other day. Works well!

  27. Can I just say that I adore you? If I ever got the chance to meet you in person, I would likely pee my pants a little in excitement. OK, maybe more than a little. It's a problem...

  28. I Love you Eden. Stay true to your heart.

  29. I used to hate twitter...i used to think that it was just another way to get myself into trouble for all the silly things i say. But now i realise it is a great source of information on all the silly things i talk about...because other people are talking about them #earwax hahahaha

  30. Holy shit I got linked to from Edenland?!?! You do realize we love you because of these things, right? xxx

  31. Hello Edenland! Came across your blog on Blogs of Note, and I'm very glad I did. This is some good stuff you got going on here. The voice you put into your writing is wonderful, and at the same time hilariously funny. Quite the accomplishment. Lovely post (:

  32. I'm glad I'm not the only one that does Twitter wrong. Like you, occasionally I get into the groove and get addicted, but most times it's like a fast running stream rushing by. If I step in, I tend to drown...

    Good luck with your BlogHer application. I've only just joined up, wanna find out what it is and what it does.... Hopefully you'll be able to tell us...

  33. Oh ya, I suck at twitter too. Sometimes I'm there, sometimes I'm not. Oh well.
    Love the caricature! But ya, why did they make you a brunette?? :)

  34. You are so funny *knuckle rub on the noggin* When I get on Twitter and you're on there, I feel like bowing down to you. I KNOW! I always feel left out of some loop on there. But dang, if it isn't addictive as hell. You're right there.

    I hope you've nabbed that full sponsorship. Oh my giddy aunt, amazing!!


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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