Monday, 18 April 2011

Fatty Boomsticks


My sister Linda came to stay with me last week. I was was bit nervous, because she has been on a complete health kick for a while now. It's safe to say that she is skinner than me. SPEWING!

Not really, she deserves it. She's worked hard, and actually did a marathon in Sydney a few weeks ago. She looks and feels fantastic:

Blurry but HOT

After writing about my fat suit last year, I pissed a few people off. And I thought, why is that? I didn't mean to offend.  Then I realised why. I've been a skinny bitch my entire life. I may have a truckload of dark and twisted issues that I need to deal with on a regular basis, but being overweight has never been one of them. Which has meant I can eat a truckload of garbage and never gain weight.

Until now ... so annoying that I can't drop the weight with utterly no effort. I actually have to WORK for it now, and it's so insulting. Stupid work.

When Linda was here last week, she kept complimenting my boobs, and I was all, yeah they look great when I'M FAT. And she laughed and I didn't care, really. She wanted to come along with me to Pump. I said of course. And I took photos of her while she wasn't looking. Part of my job as an annoying little sister:


::

Then we got home and I raided the pantry and she ate - some cardboard or something. And we laughed at my boobs again and she asked can she take a photo of my fat - I said of COURSE! And I looked at it, mournfully, and told her I would never, ever post it on my blog.

You KNOW what's coming, don't you?

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Aint no tuckin that fat suit in.

So it's official - I have the gut of Norm from Life. Be In It, aka 1979:



No no NO THIS WILL NOT DO.

I begged Linda to take another photo. Pleaded. As soon as she stopped crying, she did.

                 I can't even pretend. Who's the doughy doughboy now?
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