Veronica has been blogging for quite a few years now. She's young, tough, ... and is one of the most prolific blogger in Van Diemen's Land. (Oh man if you click that link it'll take you to The Edge and Bono singing. I miss Bono. Bad. Would sell my Soul for a ticket to Glastonbury this year.)
The Spaces Between.
The spaces between the silence seem to get larger every day. The things I can say and the things I can't, the level is tipping further and further and I'm left with writers block, wondering what is left.
What is left when I take away writing about my children, in all their glory? When I remain silent until after things have happened, for fear of jinxing them? I'm not sure anymore.
Silences bother me - no, I'm not talking about the comfortable silences left when you know a person well and you can sit, feet on laps and just be. I'm talking about the silences of things unsaid and issues not raised. When silence is used like a weapon, passively wielded, leaving no one knowing where they stand.
It bothers me when I feel like I can't speak, because when I can't speak, I can't write and I'm left, twitchy fingered, floating in the spaces between.
When life happens, my blogging takes a dive. Lack of energy and time mean that my spaces get neglected and when my spaces get neglected, everything starts to fall apart. I need this place for my sanity and sanity, while highly overrated, makes existence much easier.
I keep telling myself that the words will flow easily again and that I will get time to write again, but my fingers don't believe me and I've got that addict twitch going on. I just want to sink myself into daydreams and stay there for a while.
Silence is golden they say ... obviously they had children and nothing else, because the silence isn't always golden. Or maybe it's just that the grass is always greener somewhere else.
Veronica blogs at Someday We Will Sleep and Veronica Foale