Tuesday, 15 March 2011

I am the Guy from Scanners.

I wanted to watch horror films from an early age, but wasn't allowed until I was 12. As soon as I got to year 6, I hit them all like the little freakshow I was. Halloween, Friday the 13th, My Bloody Valentine, Cujo, Carrie, Happy Birthday to Me .... it was the 80's, and for a horror fan, it was heaven.

Lately, I have had the exquisite experience of withdrawing from Paxil. Wow. It will be a snowday in hell before I take anything stronger than a vitamin. It felt like bugs crawling under my skin. And my heart was on fire, head was racing. I've had a few conversations with some very trusted people around whether I really DO have a demon in me, or is it just the drug angrily leaving my body. (Jury's still out on that one.)

The electric shocks have been the worst .... like, I swallowed a taser and it travels all around my body, zapping at will. A twitchy, nervous, sweaty, fucked up human.

I kept thinking to myself ... that I felt like the guy on the cover of Scanners. I don't remember much about that particular 80's horror flick - just the schlocky, crazy video cover of this guy completely freaking out.

Paxil withdrawals turned me into the Scanners guy, man.

A couple of days ago I was in my local Civic Video with the boys. They were chasing each other and knocking crap over and I was this cranky, shouty shoutster. "YOU ARE NOT IN A PARK, YOU ARE IN A VIDEO SHOP STOP RUNNING AROUND GODDAMMIT."

They stopped. And I thought, hey - I'm in a video shop, why not see if they have Scanners?

Guess what - they did.

Behold ..... this is why I have not been able to think/write/blog/breathe/function lately.

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THIS is what I feel like when I go to pick Max up from school. Me + normal school mums in their natural habitat = panic stations.

I made a little video confession on it, for the website http://www.andnobodytoldme.com/

Check it out here. Oh and the horrible freezeframe face I have on before you hit play? TOTALLY PAXIL'S FAULT.
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