Friday, 14 January 2011

Lori, her Ramblings, and her Love.

This Balinese Temple was at the villa where we stayed for the past ten days. Often, I took my boys there. Offered a flower each (hibiscus), I taught them to hold their palms together and bend forward to acknowledge God. Buddha. Nature. Mother Earth. Whatever the hell it is you may believe in .... I want my boys to have something to believe in. I want them to know - during their darkest days - and they will have their darkest days, nobody escapes ... I want them to find a piece of solace in something Bigger than themselves, whatever hard thing it is they are going through.

My Australian blogging friend Lori is going through dark days. Really dark. I weep for her.

I met her at an AMB bloggy meet-up in Sydney last year. We've spoken on the phone, emailed ... she even made me up an Edenland button and refused any money for it. Said that for her, it was like doing cross-stitch. I even asked her to change the banner outline from green to black ... she did, laughing. "How can you not like green?" I said mate, I fucking hate green.

She blogs a lot - she knows a lot of things techie. One day I hope to maybe help her out in that area, even get a business cracking. She should charge people for buttons, for a start. She knows a LOT of cool stuff.

She has two adorable, beautiful children.

Her husbands funeral is tomorrow.

My heart is so heavy for her. It's a shock, a sudden, awful thing that happens in life.

Please go give her some love. I believe in the power of social media with all my heart ... to some people it must be odd, to write your life online. To others - like us, it is as normal and as necessary as breathing. I hope Lori writes through it. Writing is one of the most powerful tools in the world.

On the last day I was in Bali, I needed to acknowledge her, her Tony, and her two wee ones. I went to the Temple with my big tears,nothing compared to Lori's tears right now. And I offered my prayers, my condolences, my thoughts, compassion, love. Everything I could. She needs every last skerrick of all our love.

Lori, I am - like so many other people - loving really hard on you right now. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I haven't stopped thinking of you for days. I left my Offering to Tony in that Balinese Temple ... but before I did, I took four rocks from the circle, to give to you. To symbolise your family of four. Even though he is not walking this earth, on this sphere ... you will always, always be a family of four. Nothing can change that. Nobody can take that away from you.


Later on, we were having breakfast in a cafe before our flight. I saw this carving and thought of Lori ... going forward in life, guiding her two children.

Lori. It's hard. But I know you are ok. Especially when you're not. There is no rhyme or reason to be made, sometimes. Out of anything.

I'm here, mate. Now, tomorrow, next month - six months, a year. Always.

Go softly, with a quiet strength. Break when you need to - it takes huge courage to break. Broken people are the best kinds of people. Because then you get to build yourself back up again. More amazing and more wise than ever before.

Love Eden XOXOX


  1. Beautiful post, such heartfelt words.

    I have no doubt that Lori is feeling the love being guided to her from so many in the blogosphere, twitterverse etc right now, people who are all willing to hold her up when she needs support...


  2. OMG. This is so incredibly beautiful and powerful. Tears. Speechless. Love. xoxo

    I'm putting up a FYBF linky for Lori today, for people to put up their posts of condolence and support. Please, please link this up for her. It is breathtaking.

  3. I saw your tweets and lit an online candle for her ... I happened to be awake in the middle of the night and online (a crazy roof guy incident while Mike was gone) and saw her tweet the end.

    I know the message is to seize the day and not be afraid, but man when these things happen, it rocks you. Your perception of vulnerability is an every expanding thing as you age, the more you see, the more you know. It's like a oil spill that won't quit polluting the ocean. I know that that observation is only the very beginning of wisdom and not the place where one nets out and finds piece ... and that to not perceive that vulnerability is to be blind and unempowered. But man. Where I'm at with it sometimes takes my breath away.

    I love your delicate tribute to Tony.

    Glad you are back. More than you know. Hope it was sooooooo gooooood.


  4. Beautiful. Just beautiful. You're heart and the way you express yourself is out of this world. xxxx

    PS - Lori is right, how can you hate green?? ;)

  5. What beautiful words, I don't know Lori but I will go and visit her blog.

    I love your rock tribute.

    I hope you had an awesome time, I am glad you back.

  6. Just beautiful Eden. Just beautiful.xxxx

  7. Oh, this is the most incredible message to Lori and her family. Thanks Eden.x

  8. You are such a gift to her. The pictures are as stunning as the event is searing.

    It truly is there but for the grace of _____ go I -- life is so delicate; I'm so deeply sorry for your friend. I will take a moment to send my thoughts and love -- and visit the site too.

    Like PM -- so happy to "hear" your voice.



  9. Eden
    I have read your blog for a long time. Ever since your topcat.Days. Your writing is beautiful and continues to touch me. I will be quoting you on my husbands blog which tells the story of my current journey , recovering from a stroke that occurred three days after our sons birth.
    Many blessings to you and your family,
    Tucson, AZ

  10. What a stunning post. Thank you for putting something so beautiful out there. I haven't read here before, I will be now

  11. I had tears in my eyes reading your beautiful words, but the floral tribute to Tony had me sobbing. Bless you for your amazing heart.

  12. What beautiful words.
    But I'm with Lori, how can you hate green?

  13. Beautiful post. And Bali looks like a truly amazing place.

  14. Why have I never come across you before? I just came over via your comment to Lori's newest post.
    New follower, joining for the ride if you don't mind. This was rich, sublime writing. Thank you so much.

  15. Sending so much love to Lori - it is such an unthinkable pain. We are so lucky, here in the blogosphere, to have people (like you) who are here to lift us up, to memorialise the people we have lost, to be unafraid to say "we are hurting with you, we are loving with you" as in our "real lives" people shy away from the topic of grief, and of loss.
    Beautiful tributes, beautiful thoughts, beautiful words.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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