I did a vlog instead of writing this stuff down ... that way, I'm not putting words out onto the internet forever. I can just delete the video. When I'm all "normal" and regret saying what I said.
When Rocco was in Bali, he kept trying to climb up onto this one special temple. I told him no, no - it's very special, he wasn't allowed. He broke free from my arms, ran up onto it, tripped, and scraped all up his arms. God bit him. The Balinese people laughed.
Here's some pictures .... my goodness Bali is a spectacle. Rocco went pretty well on the plane. Sort of.
He loved the pool.
I didn't love the coffee so much, but it looked good.
Tiered rice fields.
A crazy shop mannequin.
Rocco really knows how to put the coco in Coco Pops.
Really safe and legitimate, I'm sure.
He climbed on everything. In the end I gave up caring .... that's when God bit him.
Then they just tried to bite each other.
I may be completely sober, but I can still dance in a birdcage in a nightclub at Kuta at 3am in the morning. MUTTON!
Max and I, on the bike. We both got Bali belly, and took it in turns on the toilets, passing like ships in the night.
At the coffee plantation.
Highway Patrol ..... I felt *SO* safe!
Monkey - meet Monkey.
The architecture is just so beautiful and open.
Redemption doesn't hurt at ALL!!
His name was Jordan. He was thirteen - I bet he had the cutest knobbly knees.
The Red Cross Queensland Relief Appeal.
::
So you're a recovering addict? Golf clap, dude.
You are just beautiful! Never ever stop blogging.xxx
ReplyDeleteLove
ReplyDeleteEden, you may as well have tattooed a sleeve onto your arm, followed by a heart on said sleeve. :)
ReplyDeleteBut... damned if I don't love you, just the way you are. <3
Leslie
Damn, that was lovely. I'm sitting here in all my bed headed glory with a bucket of tea feeding the Bundle and it was like I got to have a little video conference visit with you. Patrick started to fuss at the end and I had to put him down so I could hear you ... how's that for internet addiction? Pipe down, mommy's listening to her internet friend in Australia! This is important. He'll be digging that up with his shrink in hypnotherapy some day and sending me the bill, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteBTW before I even clicked "go" on the Vlog, I was honestly thinking how young you looked. And we would have never noticed the age spot if you hadn't pointed it out.
Ug. So much more to say, but I'll leave it here for now. Love right back at ya. Damn, some day I have to come and sit on that porch with you. And vice versa.
XXOO MWAH! D. is always here.
You know, I scrolled through this update before listening to your vlog and thought, she sounds tired. That holiday sounds like it was really hard. I really want to give her a hug.
ReplyDeleteAnd then I watched.
And well dude, I just love you. I love your fragility. Your strength. Your compassion and the fact you will never give up.
You know, on my darkest days, in the hardest moments when the voice in my head wants to spit venoumous bile on those around me, when I just get so tired of keeping going every fucking day I tell myself, never give up. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. This too shall pass. You are not alone.
And I often think of this passage from The Great Gatsby and I thought maybe you'd like it too:
Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter - tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further... and one fine morning -
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
ONWARD.
so my 3 month old totally smiled at your gorgeous face (we watched your vlog together) and his mama cried when you told her she's ok. I needed to hear that. don't ever delete anything you've written or said. it's all too priceless. happy you're back and ok too. peace from the other side of the world. c
ReplyDeleteI just can't get over how beautiful Bali is. Add it to the list of places I want to visit someday.
ReplyDeleteYou know I long and strive to be as honest as you are here.
ReplyDeleteI am pretty honest but there is a rawness to your blogging that leaves me in awe and makes me want to overhaul my own writing style to match it.
This year I plan to live my life like you do, honestly, emotionally and to the fullest.
You're an inspiration dear Eden and I hope that you realise how much strength people garner from you and all you have been through and what you continue to live everyday.
Never change who you are, you can't be truer than true.
~x~
how cool is a 'redemption' fadoopadah - you look clean, clear and beautiful - thank you for showing yourself, your vlogs are like having an awesome funny, clever friend over for a cup of tea.
ReplyDeleteLove the pic of getting redeemed. You know if you weren't wearing black, and were actually naked or in a hospital gown, it would totally look like you are actually giving birth, complete with sweaty red face and everything...
ReplyDeletex
Eden, you are AWESOME! You got through another trip to Bali clean and sober.
ReplyDeleteI love your pics and your vlog. You are gorgeous. You rock my friend.
I read your post the other day and came back again to watch the video (I can't watch at work). I so love your honesty. With you there are none of the filters most people have, no facade, just pure you. I love that. You are such a beautiful soul. I want to sit on your deck. It is stunning.
ReplyDeleteI love you and am so glad you're back. I've been thinking of you... deeply surreal and vivid dreams --(that's not weird, right?) -- Oprah just aired her pieces from her time in Australia and I kept thinking "damn it, I'm an ultimate viewer -- why couldn't I have been whisked off to Australia..." someday, someday.
ReplyDeleteI'm tuckered out today -- love the tattoos...I always wanted the image from the Celtic tarot of the woman holding open the mouth of a lion -- Strength...
XO,
Love to you and yours my friend,
P
It sounds like life is pretty wearisome for you right now. But, you're so strong. I'd have had a breakdown just because of all the poo. So, keep on going - knobbly knees do need looking after. I don't recommend adopting Buddha's hairstyle as your signature look, though - maybe just an occasional one.
ReplyDeleteAlso, a tattoo there makes me cringe! Not because of the wobblies, but because of the sensitive skin there!
Dear girl, I am highly dismayed by the fact that we follow each other on Twitter and I have been completely oblivious to your friggin brilliance. WHY, have you not slapped me over the head and dragged me by the hair (that I don't have) to read your blog? Why?
ReplyDeleteI loved every minute of your vlog, raw, personal, real, beautiful. And we alsmot have the same glasses.
You rock, #thatisall