Thursday, 25 November 2010

I don't celebrate Thanksgiving because I'm an Australian, but I *did* talk about gratitude last night in my narcotics anonymous meeting. Does that count?

Hi, it's me again - Eden. I'm here because I write on my blog and this is my blog, and it's about me and how I view the world. Both the physical world and the world in me. And the world in my guys, and the world in my dark shady past. (I try to shine a light on that, to make it less scary BOO).

Sometimes I am funny, sometimes not. I still don't know what I'm doing - in my life, in my home, and *especially* in this website. I come here with so much to say - I have so much to tell you! But don't we all? Everybody has a story, everybody has something to say. Everybody can have a blog, if they want to.

I try to have a streamlined, consistent narrative thread here, but that doesn't always happen. I am a very messy, very open personal blogger. For so many years I was the biggest fattest liar you could ever know - but now I have forged a new way of living and I seem to have gone in the complete opposite direction.

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Yesterday I was walking down the street, looking at all the people, living their lives. I wondered how many were in pain right now, or depressed, or anxious, or hiding. I couldn't tell. I hoped they were all ok.

I ended up taking half a day off my life, and driving to the beach. I felt the sun on my face and the sand in my toes, and it really soothed my troubled mind/brain/Spirit/Soul/psyche. I ate dinner from an extremely cool restaurant that I'd been dying to try out for years. Ordered crab pasta that was cooked and served in a bag. The waitress was so lovely .... she had gotten up that morning and worked as a personal trainer, then drove to Sydney airport to check in baggage at United Airlines, and now she was pouring our sparkling mineral water. The couple next to me had a six year old son whose name was Rocco. I told them that I did, too. We agreed that it was a great name. When they left, we wished each other a good life with our respective Rocco's.

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I did a meeting and was humbled by the honesty in the room. (AGAIN). Honest people are often the best kinds of people.

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After the most delicious frozen yoghurt I have ever had in my life, I drove home in time to hear Rocco fall out of bed so I ran in and cuddled him. He put his arms and feet around me like a baby koala. I can't believe I'm a mother to such beautiful children. I'm so so lucky and blessed. I can't believe that a person can change so much, in one lifetime. I'm a Pisces, the last sign of the zodiac. Maybe I've been through all the starsigns - twice. And now I've finally worked out my shiz, so when I die I get to stay up in Heaven. (Whatever Heaven is.)

Because how dumb and hard is this world and this life, seriously!

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I brought home a pocketful of sand in my pocket, to remind me of the sun.
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