A New Voice

Photo: iStockphoto

"The stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own."
— Mary Oliver

You know how little kids walk around and talk gibberish? And you say, "Yes sweetheart, that's right ... Buzz went around the corner and now he's eating bicycles for dinner. Clever guy!"

Nonsensical things. Well, for days now, Rocco has been saying to me, "Mum, I put it in the wall. I put my socks in the wall." Or .... "I put the udder one in the wall." And I'm all distracted and agreeing with him - yes sweetheart, good boy you put it in the wall.

Until, last night, Tim was chopping a salad and feeding Rocco cherry tomatoes. I heard Tim saying, "Rocco - where are you putting the tomatoes?"

"I put dem in the wall."

Suddenly, it all became terribly clear. I took Rocco's hand. Darling boy, where did you put them in the wall? Can you show mummy?

We walked into his bedroom.

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Rocco. Has been putting. God knows what. In his wall. And telling me.

Dave said he will fix it this weekend. The hole that has been there for, oh, two years now. I don't want to know what's in there.

Unrelated - do cherry tomatoes go mouldy?

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In other news ..... oh I have so much other news. A few months back, I took the BlogHer ads out of my sidebar. Much as I loved being part of the network, it was a huge chunk of my blog real estate I was giving up. I'm not sure where I stand on taking ads on this Edenland blog .... something about it doesn't sit right for me. Maybe because I let it all hang out, balls blowing gently in the breeze? Who wants to advertise next to balls? Why do I even have to take ads here? Answer ... I won't. Simple as that.

My personal blog is to remain ad-free ... I like not having to answer to anybody but myself. I like this blog to stay as it is - a creative effort in understanding myself better. An outlet for frustration/grief/showing-off/pain/joy. Part performance art, part idiocy, part embracing the unbalancednessness.

You're welcome.

But .... I have been working on something, with my friend Sophie. An online-type thing, that's really cool. I like it. A lot. I really believe in its potential and where we can take it, and I'm inviting you over there to let me know what you think. Anybody is welcome to throw me some ideas, contribute, guest blog-post, give us tips on what you think we could do better. We'll be taking ads over there, if you'd like to spruik your blog/etsyshop/mailorderbridebusiness.

It's called Jack and Jill Lifestyle.

And it's pretty freaky to put it out there. It feels like I'm blowing a dandelion out in the world, trying to spread it far, hoping the little blowy things settle in nicely somewhere.


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I have one more secret ..... I am a blogging freak. Specifically, mummyblogging. More specifically, the recent explosion of mummyblogging in Australia and what that means and where it can take us. (Nervous laugh). I find it all so very fascinating - never will I forget immersing myself in IVF blogs and then realising one day ... that you didn't even need a REASON. You could blog about anything if you want to. What?

I accidentally learnt a whole heap of stuff about blogging. So much so, I've been asked to talk at the Inaugural Sydney Bloggers Festival. (Shhh, stop laughing or they'll give the gig to somebody more ..... better.) My topics are, how to have a mental breakdown in public .... what to say when your husband asks you, "what the hell is a blog?" for the 100th time .... and how to hold your head high when all the mums at school know you used to drink yourself into oblivion, many moons ago.

(My topics aren't really those - but if they were, I'd *totally* ace it.)

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The scab from the burn from the motorbike exhaust in Bali is all ... scabby. I'm pretty sure there will be a scar. It was such a terrible time. I've learnt, sometimes, terrible isn't a "bad" thing. Some events in life are terrible ... and they crack you open in a way that you would never be cracked open ordinarily.

Thank goodness.