Tuesday, 14 September 2010

I Blog, Therefore I Am.

Photo credit - *Burgergirl, New York City

I've been shouted at  asked by quite a few people lately, to tone down my blog.

I don't think I will. I don't think I CAN.

More and more people IRL are finding out about it. It's very odd.

The REAL story at the end of my job interview? When we were about to leave the meeting room office, my new wonderful art director boss David says to me: "So ...... Edenland!"

Worlds colliding, I thought what the hell? Scanning my strangely written resume to see if I had written it on there. My head felt like a blizzard inside a snow globe. I went all dumb and said, "Whaa----??"

He told me that Lyma told him. Of course. We met back in the nineties, she is one of my dearest friends and put my name up for the job. A few months ago she rang me: "You never told me you had a blog!"

I used to never tell ANYBODY I had a blog.

And now I do and I kind of let it all hang out anyway, and I pretend that nobody reads it. My motto is: Post And Run. Last week I sat down to go through all of my archives and take down all of my offensive posts. There were a lot of offensive posts. I think. I'm not sure, so I just gave up.

I don't want to read what I wrote this time last year. It makes me cringe. So it stays up ... everything I have ever written I stand by. Yes it's way too much information - yes blogs are strange, yes it makes you question your privacy values.

But I love it so much, it's under my skin. Why do I blog? For me there is an ever-changing answer to that. Today it is because I can't not.

If I didn't have children I would even blog more openly than I do. I have to be mindful that anything I say about myself, they may one day learn. Not that I'm ashamed of who I am. I used to hide everything and it almost killed me. My issues and the crap I've overcome have made me better. The world is more open to me than ever before ... and I'm pretty sure blogging has something to do with it.

Bono once said, "I wish I could teach the world to sing." Well, I wish I could teach the world to blog. It gives you a sense of introspection - what do I have to say? What do I think?

I still haven't written my BlogHer 10 recap yet, so amazing were the women I met that it's hard to put into words.


I asked my new wonderful art director boss David if he's heard the term "mummyblogging" yet. He said no. I said, "You will." And I said I was kind of like a mummyblogger. Just a dark and twisted one. And he laughed and asked me what my last name was, with his pen poised. At that point, I knew that as soon as I walked out of that office, I was going to have to call my sister and tell her to remove all traces of Edenland from the internet STAT.

Because I really wanted this fricken job. I was polished and creative, remember? Then we walked out to the other people, and one of the girls there said hi and told me she felt like she knew me because she reads my blog. And I started to fan my face really hard. She said she loved that post I wrote about Damien. And we laughed and my voice faltered when I saw the others looking at me expectantly and I said, "Oh, that was just a post I wrote comparing my two-year old to the antichrist."

I think they may have laughed but I was too busy getting swallowed by the floor.

I eventually said goodbye to all the nice, normal people.

And walked off and realised that the juice from the fruit salad in my handbag had almost drowned my iPhone. Except it didn't. Then I thought, those nice normal people are probably not even normal at all. Nobody is! We all just pretend, remember! It's just that I choose to write about my non-normalness on the internet. For free. You're welcome!

So. The ruby shoes are on, and there they'll stay.

Blog on, lovers.

Blog. The fuck. On.


* Burgergirl is me - and I still have the arm flab to prove it.

David? Let's pretend this whole thing never happened. Ok thanks.


Question: Why do YOU blog? Would you care if people found out? Have you ever let a fruit salad go warm inside your handbag for two hours? If so, did you then eat it manically in the carpark using your fingernails like sporks? Except all the dodgy rockmelon at the bottom?


  1. I used to blog as my way of coping with infertility, wayyyyy too many miscarriages and wayyyyy too many years of ttc.

    Now I blog to get past all that, to rediscover who I AM, beyond all that. I blog about trying to change my life now it's not going to turn out how I'd hoped.


    Above all that, I blog for me.

    I'm opinionated, people sometimes love what I say, sometimes that hate what I say - I don't care either way, I'm me, either love me or get over it and move the fuck on.

    To everyone telling you to tone down your blog, tell em to get stuffed, you're you Eden and don't change, you ROCK because you're YOU!!


  2. *And I obviously type slower than my mind thinks because that should say *sometimes THEY hate what I say - damn you fingers, one day you will learn to keep up!

  3. If you tone down your blog, I swear to Christ on a pony I will get on a plane, fly to Australia, rent a car, drive to your house, knock on your door, and smack you upside the head.

  4. I totally agree with Pervious Posts! I will totally find a way to get to AU and kick your Mummyblogging butt if you change! DONT!!!!!!! We love you for who you are!

    I love to blog but I hate people I know finding out I blog. It freaks me out. I don't want them to know my private pain (Infertility) So now I'm lost in trying to blog now. I want to so so so badly but I don't want the pitiful looks from those people I know. It's easier not being known and blogging. I will sort it out eventually I guess. Or maybe I just need to get over myself and just say fuck it!!! :)

  5. I feel a little bit like a bad person, but sometimes I really miss the TC days, and I don't know why, because nothing is really different

  6. I think there's something refreshing about your truth Eden, even if it is sometimes offensive to some people. I imagine it's a bit cathartic to you, does it give you a change to let it go? (I'd like a piece of that action.) You say what a lot of people wish they could.

    I'm afraid of the repercussions, of my truth being held over my head until I begin to doubt myself even more than I already do.

  7. Well your blog (and you too Eden) have my unwavering support and eternal love. Don’t ever change a thing!

  8. A few years ago there were raised eyebrows when People found out I was writing a blog.

    Then it was used as a weapon against me.

    Then it saved my life. I kind of regret closing down my old blog. Now I am working my way back to being less guarded in my posts.

  9. Hey burger girl, aka Eden, do NOT ever change your blog or you or anything you think of or write. This is why we all love you. I've told you, you remind me of one of my sisters who has red hair & who is a writer. I'm always at her. 'so when are you blogging next' seriously when I get home it's straight on the net, I check my sisters blog, your blog, then Facebook, I love Facebook like I loved big brother, so that says a lot about your blog! Ok I'm rambling, love me xxxx

  10. What they already said.

    Plus I blog sort of anonymously, my name isn't anywhere on my blog, but I am coming to realize that the longer you do it and the more other bloggers you meet the less anonymous you become.

  11. I blog because it helps. Me. Stay sane. I really don't give a shit if what I have written in the past exposes me as a lunatic. The day I wrote the post, I probably was.

    Don't kid yourself dear....the new boss has most likely devoured every post you have written, but won't tell you he has. Bosses are sneaky like that.

  12. Blogging is SO important! Even if one blogs just to get the words out of your head. I blog because I need and love the support. Its a desire, almost an addiction and I wouldn't have it any other way! Yes! Blog the fuck on!

  13. Love this post so much that I even loaded IE so that I could comment!!!
    I blog for a million different reasons that change all the time... mostly just because I have to use my brain at least some of the time!

  14. I like reading other people's thoughts. I like reading other people's thoughts on my thoughts. It's a symbiotic relationship. I came over because your comment at BHJ really struck me today. Love your tone.

  15. Haven't done the fruit salad, but have definitely done the ziploc of stale carrot pieces. I'm glad someone else knows the joys of furtive parked eating. =)

    Since you asked, I like blogs because there's a sense of expectation, of deadlines and readership and disappointment. Which means I actually try harder to write better, instead of just typing, "Oh, Jesus, fuck these people!" like I do when I've got the entries set to "private."

    You seem pretty awesome, dude. =D I'm glad you randomly commented on my page, because it allowed me to randomly read yours.

  16. I love your Bono analogy. I blog because I have words flying around my head. I feel better when they get out. I can't imagine that anyone would do anything but love you more if they read your blog.

    Mine is also kind of private. I don't feel the need to tell real life friends about it. But if they find it that's cool.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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