Monday, 5 July 2010

Just like an American Werewolf in London. Except it's an Australian Blogger in New York.

*EDITED - I've had comments on this post, but they are not coming through to Blogger. Is anyone else having the same problem?

I can hear New York, in the middle of the night. It hums, beckoning me over. My soul can sense the vibe and see the streets already. It's pretty outrageous that we are going. I can't believe we are going. I have been planning this for a year now. At first it was so cool and amazing, lately it's just terrifying.

All of our tickets and flights and hotels are paid for. (Insert maniacal nailbiting here.) I have been reading up on things to do .... the Guggenheim, Chrysler Building, hear gospel singing in a Harlem Choir, Central Park. Eat a street pretzel. Get the ferry. See a Broadway show. Have sexy love time with my husband without saying, "Was that Rocco? Is he coming in? Quick hurry up. Don't worry about me, just finish."


Neither Dave or I travelled in our twenties. Too busy making sandcastles out of shifting sands. He has never even been to the US. I can not WAIT to see Dave Riley's reaction to America.

We are leaving the boys behind and flying halfway across the world by ourselves, because we are selfish like that. Some people can not BELIEVE we are taking a trip by ourselves. They don't agree - I don't blame them, I'm not even sure if I agree. But by God I need a break. I am stale and stagnant and stressed out. Dave is worse.

I totally stuffed up with the hotel reservations. When I originally made the booking I was so giddy that Dave was in remission that I agreed with the first recommendation the travel agent suggested. Put a deposit down, and THEN did my own looking online. I asked for a refund but they said no. I begged - they felt so bad that they upgraded our hotel. It's right near Times Square now. The photo up the top of this post? A bar in our new schwanky hotel. I showed it to Dave and told him that one night, I want to sit on that couch all dressed up, and get our photo taken. We will. Then we will probably have to tip the waiter for taking the photo? Tipping is big there, right?

Dave's mother is coming here for the first week, then my mother and stepfather will come for the remainder. The boys will stay in their own environment, still go to school and daycare. I will miss them beyond belief, and every time I see a child over there my heartstrings will tug. I need to miss them.

We fly back to Australia after NY, then fly back out to Bali and stay in a luxury villa for five nights. With our own private pool and chef. I'm pretty sure they wipe our bums too.

Every year I have read about BlogHer. Last year I thought man, I really want to go. When I found out it was in NYC I HAD to go. So I decided to go. Saved up. And now we are going. Who knew you could do such things? Not I, not at all.

Any person who says they have no regrets in life is either a liar or just boring as hell. I deeply regret wasting my twenties. I wish I had travelled, by myself after I finished school. Before I had children. I never really "lived" before I settled down. Settling down was not even a conscious choice for me, it just kind of happened.

Going to New York is a life-long dream. I have heard it is like its own country. I'm expecting to be blown away, inspired, my creativity renewed. I get to meet some wonderful friends - I have never met another blogger. Do you really exist? Maybe you are just one person who has created the world's biggest hoax, dripping hotsauce on your keyboard in Peru?

I get to have a second honeymoon with my husband. The one who didn't die. We keep patting each others fat tummies and armflab, cocking our heads to one side. "Hon! Winter fat! Tsk tsk!" I'm contemplating getting a spray tan, for the first time in my life ..... if you're going to BlogHer, just look for the tall red-haired oompa loompa.

Watch out, America. The Riley's are coming to steal your summer, eat all your chocolate, and bitch about your crap coffee.


  1. Looking forward to meeting y'all!

  2. I am SO proud of you. Why in the hell should you feel guilty? Do you leave your kids nightly to go to the pub? No. Do you leave your kids nightly to do lines or shoot up? No. Do you get to have time with your hubby on even a semi-regular basis? Absolutely not. So buck up little lady and enjoy children-free sex in a hotel! That's an order.

  3. The Weebles will FIGHT you for the chocolate and help you FIND good coffee, mate.

    You have a relative in Colorado, right? Why don't you trade that luxurious week in Bali for a week in my neck of the woods. I'm not sure I can find you a bum wiper, though.

    Counting down the days til I meet my tall Aussie ooompah-loompah with the gorgeous jawbone!

  4. Oh I am SO happy and excited for you! Make sure you take TONS of photos! I can't wait to read about all the fun you had.

  5. Oh Fantastic! Have a brilliant time. I love New York, it seeps into your bones and fills you with its energy. I've stayed there in a hotel that rented by the hour and in one of the swankiest places on 5th avenue and I'm still not sure which i liked the best!

    I love how familiar it feels, even the very first time you are there. Post plenty so I can live vicariously!

  6. You're going to have a splendid time. Please oh please if you have a chance, eat pie and drink coffee at a proper New York diner. I have always wanted to do that. :) Enjoy your adventures.

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  8. Dude. I'm not actually going to Blogher (don't know why, but I'm not), but I want to hang out with you. Brunch? Lunch? Linner? Dinner? Whatver - I just want to see you! I'll email ya.

  9. I think blogger is eating everyone's comments- it's happening to me too.

  10. "Don't worry about me, just finish" - you are too funny!

    I'm sure you will have a wonderful time taking over New York...of course, it's nothing like the rest of the US, but that just means you'll have to come back and explore some more!

    So, I've gotta ask - is Bali like any old vacation for you? Because to me, it sounds like the ultimate exotic trip. I mean, I'm in a landlocked state, halfway between oceans, but I've done a little travelling. I was briefly considering Bali for our wedding/honeymoon, but thought it was just too much.

    Also, we import coffee from EVERYWHERE - even the stuff that has to be dug out of whatever animal's poo. I would guess that if your coffee is crap, you should just keep trying different places. However, my dad said the best coffee to be had is from White Castle (a unique hamburger place which I don't think they have in NY), but that was long before the advent of Starbucks...

  11. Yes, blogger is being fucked up. hahaha! I can say that on your blog.
    I hope you have a fabulous time. I think it's great that the two of you are taking a vacation together. You need that. I also don't think it's horrible to go away without the kiddos once in a while. I regret not traveling when I was younger as well. Maybe there is still time.
    Oh and that trip to Bali? Sounds absolutely fucking amazing.

  12. When G heard that you were coming to America he said "you should go to New York" -- sweetly forgetting that our baby is still breastfeeding and though, I'm sure she's brilliant, has never figured out how the sucking mechanism on a bottle works. Had I known you were traveling to NY this summer I would have given her formula.


    Sort of.

    I am SOOO beyond thrilled for you -- God, enjoy it -- eat it all up, every minute -- in Ny and Bali -- with your sounds like heaven.

    And if, by some miracle, I can get to the Eastern seaboard -- maybe visit my brother in Boston -- I will see you in a heartbeat with the baby in tow.




  13. Have fun. No place like NYC.

  14. New York is my home. Well, okay, it's NOT, because I don't live there, but I wish it were. I love NYC. I cannot wait to meet you.

  15. the choc is nothing to write home about in the states.. so dont get disappointed. i am so glad you are coming!! I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU a big hug!!

  16. Yay! Hope you had a great time in NY and a fantastic rest of the trip. NO KIDS! Whoo hoo!!

  17. Did you have a good time!? July is a great time to be in NY unless it is roasting, and it was last year. I hope you had fun. Ages ago I had two Australian kids staying with me for a month and I happened to read their postcards before mailing (oops) and one said "NYC is filthy and smells like cat piss." Cracked me up. She was right, of course, but you get used to it.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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