Thursday, 29 April 2010

Future's Sky High



On Tuesday morning, I had run out of anxiety meds. Knowing for a while I needed a new prescription, but I was too embarrassed to see my doctor. So I did what I always do with most things in my life - leave it until the last minute when I'm all stressed out and in a panting rut. I rang my doctor, he is away on holidays. I rang everywhere .... no appointments for a week. I joked to a receptionist, "Ha ... this is for my anxiety meds and now I'm getting all anxious about not being able to get them hahaha." Except I wasn't joking and she knew I wasn't joking and fobbed me off.

I got off the phone and started pacing around. Dave was home because he put his back out. I went in to him, a little bit wild-eyed.

"HON! I need my anxiety meds and I left it too late for a prescription! Hey, what's wrong?"

The guy was in agony, like seriously couldn't move, couldn't cough. The chiropractor said a nerve in his back is inflamed and swollen and he needed meds too. We both had an interview at the US Consulate in Sydney the next day, to get our visas. He said he could lay in the back of the car while I drove. I pictured us walking in, me all hand-wringing and sweaty, him hobbling like a freak.

I drove up to the chemist to get Dave some anti-inflammatory meds and painkillers. I explained to the chemist guy what was wrong with Dave, and he asked if he has any blood or kidney problems in the past. "No. Ummm, but he's had cancer and now he's in remission." So we talked for a while. Then I blurted out, "Actually, I'm having a bit of an issue - I'm on medication and I need a new prescription and no doctor can see me, ahahha. It's for {ANXIETY WEEDER} hahaha. Because of Dave's cancer, actually, heheh - and I was wondering ..."

Before I'd even finished talking the chemist guy was looking me up in his magic computer and getting me my meds. I was so relieved, saying thank you thank you. I looked at him - suddenly he was pretty cute. He told me not to worry; they should put it in the water supply where I live because everybody's on it. Then he laughed and told me HE should be on it. I said well, if you want, I know this great chemist guy. I said that over my shoulder as I was walking off, smack bang into about four women standing in line right behind me, listening to the whole sordid exchange.

I fanged it home and came into the house. "HON!! CHECK OUT OUR STASH!"

Yesterday, we all got up at the crack of a sparrows fart, so Dave and I could drive down to Sydney to get our visas because it was someones STUPID IDEA to go to New York for BlogHer in August. (I couldn't even get on a plane to go on a honeymoon with Dave, so worried was I about us both dying in a plane crash and leaving Max an orphan. Apparently I'm over that worry, now?) (Yes, we had Max before we got married. He thinks it's pretty cool he was at his own parents wedding.) (Little bastard.) (KIDDING).

Rocco was riding his little bike in the yard, and then he just disappeared. I went out and called him - nothing. I walked all the way around the house - you know when your kid vanishes and your voice gets higher and higher and all strangled? Yeah. I ran around and around. ROCCO! ROCCO! ROCCO! I yelled at Dave to come help me look - he didn't. I ran up the street, stopped a car from driving and said "I can't find my little boy! Can you please keep an eye out!" Max was in a panic.

I turned around and there stood Rocco, smiling. I was so relieved. "Where were you!" He mumbled something, but I'll never know. Dave was all pissed off because my maniacal screams had drawn the neighbours out. Dave is a real tool, sometimes. For the rest of the day I was relieved - Rocco was ok. My GOD it was freaky.

We only had one silly argument in the car, and that was because he kept butting in when I was talking. I slumped my shoulders and called him a buttinski and refused to tell the rest of my story. So we drove in silence for ten minutes whereupon the silent treatment was magically lifted, and I pointed at a billboard saying "I LOVE YOU" and Dave gave me the finger and I knew all was forgiven.

Running late, we ran through Sydney. Up to the 10th floor where we had to check-in to the consulate and leave our bags and phones and walk through a metal detector. Mine kept going off, I took off my shoes, then my belt. Everyone was watching me .... as I pulled out my emergency chin-hair tweezers from my pocket. I thought of Maya, my fellow hairy one. (Maya I'm pretending you are still coming to BlogHer. You ARE. I just googled flights from Israel to NY, it's about a thousand bucks return. You can sleep in my bed with me. So that's that then.)

Then we sat down in front of a huuuuge colour picture of Glacier National Park, Montana. And I thought of Pam, and her wee baby girl and I got all teary eyed, at all the friendships I have made online - all over the world, and how valuable they are to me. Then we went up up up in the lift so high my ears kept popping and it was like Charlie Bucket going up in the lift, through the sky.

We took a ticket, and marvelled at the view of Sydney below. Just beautiful. Then we waited. And waited. And waited. Dave said I should have packed him a snack. I said, oh, sorry ROCCO I have no snack packed.

After two and a half hours, we were experts in who would get visas approved and who wouldn't. There was no confidentiality at all, it was all open and you had to shout into this microphone. We waited so bloody long that we were the last people there, Dave was so delirious he didn't care who heard him talk then anyway. We were honest about our intentions, and we got approved.

ATTENTION NEW YORK CITY: Get ready, baby.

We got lunch in a crowded city food place, both felt like country bumpkins. I said to Dave "We don't even need to go to America .... we're spun out just by being in Sydney during lunch hour!"

I took photos of Dave as he walked to the car, spunkiest guy ever. I busted a few blonde chicky babes checking him out.




A delivery guy had to wait while I took this photo in an underground carpark. Dave is wearing his prayer beads from Tibet that someone gave him when he was on chemo:



We talked all the way home, excited and relieved. Dave looked at this block of flats and said, "Geez, someone should do those up. They'd be unreal."



I thought about how he unknowingly did me up, on the inside. He really has made me a better person. I should tell him one day, when he's not being such a buttinski. I just love him so much it hurts .... that he is coming to America with me is so fucking cool, such a bloody triumph.

Just then, I noticed this bumper sticker.




And in that moment, every single thing in the world was all as it should be. (It probably all fell apart again after five minutes but hey, gather ye rosebuds, etc).

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