Tuesday, 23 March 2010


What with all the babyhood and remission going on around here ... my hair accidentally grew long.

It's time to get it cut. AND a colour, thanks to another year older. I would never get it cut short-short. My mother made me get it cut short when I was 14 years old. I sat in the chair while the hairdresser was ordered to cut it all off. I had no say in it, no voice. The hairdresser was nice, swung the chair around and looked me in the eyes. "Are you sure you want it all cut off?"

I always felt strange when an adult would look me in the eyes, I wasn't used to it. Like, they thought I had something of value to say or something. Odd.

These days I'm teaching Max that it is important for him to be heard, in the world. In shops I pass him the money and watch as he goes and makes the purchase. I'm interested in how the adults in his circles treat him. I'm probably hyper-sensitive towards the power imbalance between adults and children. But whatevs.

I would never make Max cut his hair if he doesn't want to. He recently grew it scraggly and it all stuck up in funny places. Dave and Tim were on his case but I told them to leave him alone. Max eventually decided to get it cut, so I took him.

It's his hair. He is the boss of it.

So anyway, I will never ever have short hair again. I looked SO UGLY. I even got booted out of the cool group at school, lost my "pretty" standing. True.

If I'm ever blessed enough to get to be an old lady, with lines and veins ... I will wear my hair long. Pissy grey plaits. Maybe even some red ribbons.

That was my favourite hairstyle, as a child. Two gloriously thick, deep red plaits.

People would always ask me where I got my red hair from. I would tell them the truth. "From my dad. He was Scottish." Mum would talk over me. "Her grandfather."

After a while I'd tell people that the red was from my grandfather. Until I grew up and left home. Then I would tell everyone I met about my dead red-haired Scottish dad and nobody would shoosh me.


So. Haircut tomorrow. Some kind of sleek style that will last about three weeks. It won't be short, though. Maybe even a fringe?

Whatever I want. It's my hair. I'm the boss of it.


  1. I'm the boss of it, it's my hair, i paid for it hand it over - wonder whose talkin there uh.

    You go my gorgeous redhaired sis-bro - you cut that hair, you colour it, you perm the fuck out of it if thats what you want..........they're your purple feathers bro - you go for it.

    BTW mine are looking SO skankarama - mite just get me a do too xx

  2. you hair is gorgeous...I had a friend in college who had hair just like yours but longer. I used to call her Rapunzel because it looked like the hair of fairy tale princesses to me. this coming from someone who was condemned as a child to short hair. coupled with gangly legs and arms I was always mistaken for a boy. I would play with towels draped over my head pretending it was long hair. sad right?
    such identity comes with hair, a crown of personality,there's so much involved with how we present to the world and ourselves, if that makes any sense.
    btw why did your mom say it was your grandfathers hair instead?

  3. Rex aka LEG: HAHAHHAAHAHA. I paid for it .... hand it over

    lucky 13: Thank you! Hair does bring such identity, you are so right. My mum had already remarried by that stage ... I think she was just so angry at my father, she didn't like when he got the credit for my hair. Hey do you have a blog?

  4. Ok, so ... DISCLAIMER: I need to change my blog layout, so that I can reply to each comment individually. For some reason I can't email people back after they've commented ... I'm sorry!

    I've blogged every day lately and I'm so behind and wake up in crippling guilt about it at 2am.

  5. Sofia has hair down to her bns because my mom did the same thing to me. To be fair, I used to twist it and I got terrible knots in it, so it was awfully hard to manage. But instead of explaining to me why something had to change like I was an intelligent human being that she respected and loved ... she just put me down constantly for it and then dragged me to the hairdresser. Turned the whole thing into a trauma that it didn't need to be. I was the KID, not the PROBLEM, if you know what I mean.

    Now I spend a lot of time helping Sofia with hers (it's a real project ... luckily she can wash it herself now -- no small chore because it takes a lot of patience to rinse all the shampoo out properly). It hurts when we brush it out, sometimes there are tears, which sucks. But I will ~not~ be the one to say she has to cut it.

    Poor kid. She has my hair, too. It tangles easily. And if she cuts it too short, it won't be smooth like normal people's hair. It will be wavy/curly and always look either uncombed messy or very nerdy. It took me years to learn how to blow mine out -- I'm ****ed without a blowdryer.

    Happy haircut.

  6. What with all my laziness and unwillingness to look for childcare or be proactive and schedule something for when my husband was home, I haven't had my hair cut in over a year and a half. It's time. Maybe I will call for an appointment today!

    I love your red hair! Can't wait to see your new style (and the eventual pictures of you with gray hair in braids!).

    My mom always had our hair cut short with bangs (is that what you call fringe?). Because she was not interested in combing out knots (my sister has a VERY sensitive scalp and cried. A lot.) or seeing us with hair in our eyes. The style was not very attractive, but probably better than when I was following trends and attempted a Farah Fawcett feathered fiasco...and got glasses at the same time. *shudders* But, then I went somewhere good to get my hair cut and thus ended my 10 year awkward stage. Now I just put my hair in a ponytail and that's about it!

  7. We had to have ours short and HOME permed! I keep mine chin length because I see all the old ladies where my mama lives and the back is ALWAYS flat where they sit or lay all day! I actually loved my hair short, but I know that eventually it will all be flat, so no short hair for me!

    You, by the way, have beautiful hair!

  8. I agree that hair is so identifying. For my entire existence I have been identified as the redhead, now I will be the one with the receding hairline. Or as the punk as kid in the store said "Look at grandma trying to be cool!" Grandma!! The nerve!
    I remember my mom ripping the brush through my hair and when head lice spread through our classroom like wild fire she used the opportunity to berate me for being dirty and disgusting. I do miss my hair though. I've grown in out a little bit to test the waters of my obsession, we're waiting to see how that turns out. So far I can hide it pretty well. Small favors. : )

    People are weird. How they decide is the best way to handle something is so confusing to me sometimes.

    Have fun being the boss of your hair!

    (Do deleted comments still go to your email?)

  9. Your hair is gorgeous. How horrible for your mom to make you cut your hair.
    Hope you like the new style.

  10. this is neither here nor there, but i fucking hate the "where did the red hair come from?" question with a deep burning passionate hate that bubbles up from my very soul. Obviously the fucking red hair came from genetics, assholes. Do you think I ordered it from The Sears catalog? Cripes!
    (ok, sorry, this post is not about me, helloooo, but you know i have this redheaded child and I get asked that at LEAST 12 times a day and I need to get over it, and I am trying, but shit!)

    Your hair is so beautiful, please do not cut TOO much off, I would kill for your long luscious 'do. Gorgeous, dame!

  11. You have such beautiful hair, eden. And I'd never make my kid cut his hair, either.

  12. My dad used to put a bowl over my head and cut around it! My ex, your BIL, used to sulk for days when I got my hair cut! Thank God he can't control me now! You have beautiful hair.

  13. You do have gorgeous hair.

    Did you know Z has red hair right now? I pray for it to stay that way -- and when people ask her she can say she got it from her Auntie Eden!

    My mother used to braid my hair every morning and I would unbraid it on the bus. It's my third grade picture that shows me all snaggle-toothed and with this long stringy unkempt hair -- my mother had a fit over that picture let me tell you.

    The next year my hair was cut off. A "princess Diana" do -- that was a mistake.

    I always thought long hair balanced out my ass um, I mean arse :) HA! I have major identity caught up in my hair -- what for a very long time was the only thing I liked about myself.

    My hair is so effing long now - -its been six months without color or cut -- and who knew I was hardly a blond anymore? I'm battling with whether to restore the color or just go with the natural dishwater blond...

    XOXO to you my red haired lovely -- can't wait to see the locks!


  14. One of my best friends did the same thing you are doing with Max, with her son. W. grew his hair almost halfway down his back before he decided he was ready to cut it. It was strange to look at but I love that my friend let HIM make the decision.

    You are SO the boss of your hair. And of your life. I hear your voice.



  15. I love love love your hair!! I prayed with each pregnancy to have a baby with red hair like that. Chris had that color then auburn and now brown. They were all born with that red now it's gone..
    Maybe I should have been more specific in my prayers..hmmmmm

    I let my sister cut my hair once and it was wet and she pulled it taunt and cut... I looked like a fricken boy!!!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!!

  16. eden, no I don't have a blog. I've wanted to start one forever. but you know how sometimes there's so much in your head that you just can't seem to get anything out...that's where I am.

  17. Aaron is the boss of his hair too, probably because I wasn't allowed to be the boss of mine either.

    Aaron's dad threatened a haircut and I said 'you will not cut his hair against his will' in my biggest death voice and he obeyed.

    This matters. Enjoy your hair cut lovely.


  18. I hope you like the cut! I totally love your colour. I always wanted red hair. Like Anne of Green Gables. :-)

  19. My mother forced me to get a bowl cut at age 6 and I've never forgiven her for that godawful haircut.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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