Dave got me an arse for my birthday. Best jeans ever. I understand what all the fuss is about - usually I buy my jeans for $40 in some cheap shop, sweaty and bribing the kids with chocolate to wait patiently for me.
(I am so proud of an Australian company who has made it big overseas.)
I tried them on .... just to see what a pair of $190 jeans would feel like. Like when Vincent Vega wants to try a "fi dolla shake."
I was genuinely shocked ... no more concave flat pancake bum! I don't know how they do it, I have looked for some secret panels but there are none to be found. I now walk with a swagger.
So, because of such a big purchase, Dave was pretty much off the hook for any festivities. He even played footie last night, guilt-free.
Birthdays are fun. March 11 is always a magic date for me, like a get out of jail free card. I feel special, less anxious, and free. Like I can do what I want, and nobody is allowed to get cranky at me.
Yesterday I woke up to Maxs homemade birthday card, (him and I playing Mario DS together) Rocco's serenade ..... and Tim sheepishly coming downstairs saying, oh, *cough* it's your birthday? And I wasn't even mad at him. He was really sick, I knew he felt bad. I marvelled at how much I've changed as a stepmother, years ago that would have really hurt and pissed me off. I ended up going shopping, coming home with two new T-shirts for Tim. I said, "Mate, I'm sorry but how cool am I? Not only do you forget my birthday and get me nothing but I see two shirts that would look so cool on you so I get them. I'm pretty awesome."
Maybe my new arse makes me a better mother.
I also bought two new bras for myself, Max a new football, Rocco some pyjamas, and Dave some undies. Then got a Chinese massage for an hour. HEAVEN.
When I got home, I was a little disappointed that there was no cake. I told Dave I hope he loses footy, because it was the final knockout and I'm sick of being a sports widow. He totally lost, came home saying I jinxed him. I fist-pumped the air, YEESSS! I told him not to worry, does he want some birthday cake?
"Cake? Is there birthday cake?"
I turned around and looked at the kitchen. "Ohhh, actually no. There's no birthday cake."
Dave looked pissed off and we stared at each other until Tim said, "EDEN! I will make you a cake. It will be the best cake you've ever seen!"
I said, well ....... it better be.
So he's making it tonight, reckons I'm not allowed to look. I told him there needs to be a theme.
My age? Emotionally I think I'm about 11. Maybe 12. Physically I'm 38. Spiritually I feel old, the oldest hag in town.
Old and blessed.
I scored some wonderful loot from my siblings this year. Among my favourites was this skull scarf Leigh got me:
Linda got me some lip gloss and liner, and this card:

My brother boought me a box of chocolates. Boring you say? Never. Especially not when they are my favourite kind .... and a very big box. Allow me to use my young helper as a measuring tool, to give you an idea of the size:
After that photo he jumped on the box. But they still taste yummy.
Dave didn't get let off the hook completely .... tomorrow I am dragging him to a museum in Sydney, with the boys. As it is my birthday treat, I laid out some specific conditions:
"Ok. You must enjoy yourself at all times. No dragging your feet, no complaining. We will leave the museum when I say so. And you are NOT to start banging on about finding a park as soon as we drive out the frickin driveway."
He has accepted my terms. He had too, or I wouldn't let him have any of my cake tonight.
CAKE!
Dave didn't get let off the hook completely .... tomorrow I am dragging him to a museum in Sydney, with the boys. As it is my birthday treat, I laid out some specific conditions:
"Ok. You must enjoy yourself at all times. No dragging your feet, no complaining. We will leave the museum when I say so. And you are NOT to start banging on about finding a park as soon as we drive out the frickin driveway."
He has accepted my terms. He had too, or I wouldn't let him have any of my cake tonight.
CAKE!
Thank you for your kind wishes. It's hard today .... the 12th of March. 365 more days to go!
Love that you had such a great day. Happy Birthday to you - one day late.
ReplyDeleteI giggled at Rocco jumping on the box of chocolates.
That's a huge box o'chocolates! I hope you enjoyed them.
ReplyDeleteWill a $190 pair of jeans make me look skinny? No? I have to do that work myself you say? Pfft to you. : )
It's sounds like you had a great day and I hope the museum trip goes well.
Happy March the 12th!
Many happy returns, you sexy arsed Bono-toucher.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! I hope your cake is awesome.
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday!
ReplyDeleteand if you want some ass, i have plenty to share.
and i didn't mean this in the dirty sense.
Happy Late Birthday!!! And my what a big box you have hehe!!!! Glad you found your ass in those jeans hehe boy Im full of fun tonight!!!
ReplyDeleteMATE - I SO nearly got you the same card as Linda - serial! Happy mo fo birthday bro bro xx
ReplyDeleteno picture of you and your arse in your new denim??
ReplyDeletehappy birthday, hope your cake and museum trip were equally yummy.
What a fantastic birthday! Now I have to start planning mine; I want to do Whatevah I want, just like you. I dig it.
ReplyDeleteI need jeans to make my ass look smaller. I give J-Lo a run for her money.
And I am soooo jealous of your scarf. I'd friggin' sleep and shower in that thing.
And that is the biggest box of chocolates I've evah seen. Are they all gone? LOL.
Happy birthday! and I hope you can still fit in those jeans after eating all that chocolate. :-)
ReplyDeleteNow THAT's a box of chocolates!
ReplyDeleteHow nice to find a pair of jeans that fit properly. I'm still searching.
Hope your birthday museum trip and birthday cake are most excellent!
Happy Birthday, sweet thang!
ReplyDeleteArgh! Your birthday! I thought you were in my blue moutain calendar!
ReplyDeleteBIG, SLOPPY hugs and nugies for you, Missy!!
OMG. That box of chocolate! I totally laughed at Rocco stomping on it. That so happens here.
XXOO
Happy Birthday, dear Eden! I'm so glad that it went well. I've totally been dreaming of some magical expensive jeans as well. We deserve them, don't you think?! I hope the museum and this coming year bring you nothing but wonderful memories.
ReplyDeleteHappy Belated Birthday! Sorry I missed the actual day. I'm so far behind on everything lately.
ReplyDeleteThat is one big box of chocolates. I hope you enjoy them. Have fun at the museum and such too.
That sounds like a fantastic birthday! And wahoo for killer jeans! I'm totally jealous.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Eden! Sounds like an awesome day! Love the rules about going to the museum. Might need to use them some day around here.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I watched Pulp Fiction last night, THEN read this today. Otherwise I would never know who the hell Vincent Vega was... =)
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed your birthday, E. I am a little bummed that you didn't take a pic of your bum in those jeans. Shit, for $190 they better work miracles! Happy 12th sister!
Wow what a birthday. Happy birthday!
ReplyDeletelove, love that card!
I think I would be a better mother with a better arse too, excellent observation.
I am behind the power curve - happy birthday!! :)
ReplyDelete