Monday, 22 March 2010

Du Jour

Ummm, it's been a hard day. The kind of day where, if I was a normal member of society, I would joke on twitter about cracking open a bottle of red to celebrate the children finally going to bed.

This Rocco .... he fights me at every turn. Throws things around the house. Breaks EVERYTHING. Chucks tantrums at the drop of a hat. Steals the dog bone, drips oil onto the carpet, screams bloody murder when I dare to lock him in his stroller, runs away at nappy change time. Breaks Max's new lego, climbs onto the table and pushes my candlesticks over, and plays with the buttons on the TV. Burst his way into the bathroom while I was sitting on the toilet, and shoulder charges me! Saying MINE! MINE POO!

He did every single one of those things today .... and more. I'm not exaggerating.

I would like to shoot myself in the head now. I only have one remaining nerve and man did he get on it. Max was NOT like this as a baby. He was the most peaceful, content little thing. Rocco is a frickin tornado. I had to put him in time out today. A LOT.

Know what he did? Taught himself to open his bedroom door and come strolling out, tear-stained cheeks. "Door. Opin."

I was *trying* to supervise Max's homework, unpack the dishwasher, and put away the groceries all at the one time. Max and I clenched our jaws so hard not to laugh at Rocco. He was doing these cute little dances for us, trying to butter us up.

I keep looking at the eyes on my last post ..... Roccos certainly are amazing. They remind me of the swimming pool we had as kids. The bluest blue on a hot day, the sunlight would bore down and make the water shimmer this crazy way. Beautiful, but hard to swim in, on those hot hot days.


Dave came home and then left again, so crazy was feral hour tonight. I rang him later, at wits end, to tell him Roccos piece de resistance of today.


It was so literally symbolic, I could find no more cranky energy. Just resignation. I knew something was up when he walked up to me holding a metal garden implement. "Lady. Brokin." I felt dread when we walked back to the entrance of the house. He went up and patted her on the head. "BROKIN."

He had banged and chipped away at the head. And lopped off part of an ear.

He seemed remorseful, all with the wet sloppy kisses.

Before tackling it, trying to jump up onto its head.

So, I finally put him to bed. Where he mercifully fell straight asleep.
No bottle of wine cracked open for me ..... there really is only one option after a day like today.
Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Just how *I* like them ..... half cooked, cookie dough still raw in the centre.

So that when I ate them straight off the baking tray some of their insides fell away and I scooped it up with my man hands and inhaled about five in a row.

Maybe six.

OK eight but don't tell Dave.


  1. Oh no poor Eden it sounds horrific! I am glad you rewarded a tough day with cookies. Sending heaps of hugs up that mountain (((Hugs)))

  2. I laughed and laughed and laughed.

    Oh my, poor you. He has got a lot of energy that kid. Maybe toddler boot camp? Or cooking class so he can learn to bake those cookies for you?

    Seriously, this is why I can't lose the baby weight. There is always something at the end of the day with these two kids that makes me want to eat a cupcake. And they aren't even Rocco. :-)

  3. Hehe, I had a son just like that ;) I mean still do but he grew up, 13 now and such a GREAT kid!!!!! They are certainly a handful.

    The worst thing I could ever do to him was put him in the corner.

  4. Oh man, I know this is coming, my kid is a bit younger than Rocco but I see all these things on the horizon when he throws shoes at the plasma and dents the fridge.. urgh. Maybe I should stock up on cookie dough, brilliant idea.

  5. I have not smiled that much in a week. So while I'm sorry it's at your expense, I am still smiling.

    My hat is off to you - even with a million chocolate chip cookies (I like them half cooked too!) I am not sure I wouldn't just start banging my head in frustration.

    That kid is adorable.

  6. You posted about cookies and then all I could think about was sweets. Then I thought, fucking Eden, she eats chocolate and still stays thin. After I drank that haterade, I felt bad. I mean, the poor Buddha.


  7. I make and eat cookies when I'm under stress too! It's a mystery to my husband! Sounds to me like Rocco's all BOY!

    He was showing a LOT of wisdom by breaking over the Buddha though! :)

    Oh, yes, my son who was EXACTLY like that is now 32.....still exactly the same! Drives me crazy! But he's real sweet!

  8. You are so freaking lucky that you dont weigh 17,000 pounds. You eat like a truck driver. I eat 1 freaking cookie and gain 3 pounds.

    on a side note, these ivf babies man... I think they are high strung. Neve is such a drama queen. Throws tantrums, hits her sister.... falls on floor...makes me laugh... we worked so hard for them, and HERE THEY ARE FOLKS!

  9. I am sorry to laugh at you in your time of need, but ..HAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHaHAhAHAHahHHAHahahahaheeeeeehehehehehohohohh*snort* He is so cute, that little hooligan! I have a recommendation for you (this is what works for me) - do you have the Napolean Dynamite soundtrack? Get it. Go to your car, play Canned Heat by Jamiroquai, blast it at insane levels, and just drive drive drive...disco in your carseat and scream the lyrics. If you can't leave the house, put on earphones and disco around the house. It works for whatever ails you. Try it?

  10. Do you have specific Rocco time, where you chase him around, take him outside, wrestle with him, basically tire him out? I find this works OK with my daughter, in the morning. (Note: It also worked well with my Welsh Terrier.) Afternoon behavior is completely dependent on whether she's had a nap. If not, there's nothing to be done with her, but sit her in front of YouTube with some mind-numbing music or kid's video once she's calmed down from her latest tantrum. But, then woe betide anyone who tries to take her away from it for dinner or bedtime or anything...

    I think your problem is that you had a nice, calm boy first! Good thing he's so cute...

  11. I love that Rocco even broke Buddha. That says it all! My little guy is definitely the quieter one, but hell, my Stella was a tornado yesterday as well! Maybe it was something in the air (the air that is shared by Chicago and Australia?!) because she was in rare form as well, bullying her brother and us. She left a giant bite mark on her brother's cheek so we could remember her tornado day. Let's say it together- this too shall pass! Those cookies look scrumptious- good idea!

  12. I think those IVF babies are that way because they have to fight. Hard. I have to remind myself of this often. The Sprout fought hard to stay in my uterus through months of bleeding and the fight shifted to staying alive when he came out 12 weeks early. (As I type this he is trying to sneak out of his room when he's supposed to be napping. He's too distracted with this plan to notice the door squeaking.)
    His tenacity, vigor and lust for life will pay off when he's marching to his own drummer and not some dumbass peer's. (Now I have Iggy Pop in my head, awesome.)
    My mouth is watering at the cookies, I restarted "the diet" mean Eden, soo mean.


  14. Wow. That's quite a day. You deserved those 8 chocolate chip cookies. Maybe even more. A full dozen wouldn't make me bat an eyelash at!

    I wonder how Karl is going to be as he gets a big older. He now sounds a lot like you describe Max. Chill and content. But will it change as he gets older? Was Rocco always like this or did he slowly get more destructive?

    i love you!


  15. My version of Rocco is now almost 20 and still doesn't sit still. I swear this kid was trying to kill me for least it felt that way.

    There was rarely a 10 minute span where he wasn't ripping something apart or throwing something.

    Rocco will be your adventurer. He will know no boundaries and have no fear as he gets older. Good luck :)

  16. I'd have eaten the whole fricken tray and then made another and eaten that one after they were all in bed with a big ol glass of milk!!!!

    AND I have 3 just like him(each one harder than the other!!) and now being the wife of a sober man all i get is chocolate too!!!!!!

  17. Yeesh! What a day! One of my nephews sounds a lot like Rocco - persistent in his naughtiness and so sweet and funny at the same time. I get tired being around that kid for a few hours - so big props to you for being such a good mother to your little guy. It takes patience and hard work, that's for sure. And sugar. Lots of sugar.


  18. wow, I got tired just reading about all his adventures. Never het him and Lyla together, they might bring the house down

  19. First, I must apologize for laughing my ass off at the "broken lady." That shit was just funny.

    Had the same day here. I even lost him in the house for like three terrifying minutes. Found him on the third floor playing with a blood pressure cuff (sister's a nurse).

    I ended my day with half-cooked brownies. Hang in there, lovely. Hope your hair is looking gorgeous.

  20. Good thing you had Max first. I read stuff like this and it makes me think that maybe I'm just fine with me and my cats. Then I see the cuteness and think how much I still want one of those baby things.

  21. 'feral hour'...omg! hilarious :)


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