Tuesday, 8 December 2009

The Ugliest Photos in the History of the Internet. You're Welcome.

It started off innocently enough ... fooling around in my office with Rocco, snapping some pics.

Then I thought I'd try to take a photo of my new glasses, and write a blog post about What The Glasses Saw, detailing all the things my old glasses saw, and pondering on all the things these new specs will see. Things will happen and I don't know what they are yet.

After about a billion and seventy photos, I still wasn't happy. I know, how about I prop my head on my hand and look all thoughtful?

Nuh. Not happy with any photo. I clicked away. Realised I've worn glasses for 25 YEARS. What's older than a cougar? A mountain lion? A goat? Yeah, I'm that.

Then I realised how white my eyes are, and snapped a mere trillion of those.

Then I made this crazy, kooky face. Because I am such a crazy, kooky person don't you know!

Things quickly degenerated into something quite ugly.

Rocco had been watching me the whole time, and finally got bored and tried to get in on the camera action.

Outta my way baby .... mumma has some more Ugly to do!

Seriously, who does this? What is wrong with me? There's something wrong.
In this shot I look like a fricken serial killer. Eating liver with a fine Chianti.

My nose. MY NOSE. Hey Eden - America called. It wants the Grand Canyon back.

TRUE: On windy days, I feel my nose hairs rustle in the breeze.

I've had a stressful week, trying to not let Christmas swallow me whole like it does every year. Dave is going through something pretty huge right now. I'm here, trying to stay balanced and supportive. Getting a standing ovation from Max's class for the Bart Simpson cake and watching my sisters incedulous face as Rocco tore through her house like a cyclone .... I owe her three cushions, four Christmas decorations, and a round delicate shell ornament that he threw around her house like a "ball".

I need to do stupid things, remind myself that life is just too damn important to be taken seriously.


  1. Eden I'm sorry things are tense. I hope you're well, I've missed reading your words, even though I know it hasn't been that long. thanks for your funny pics, life is indeed too important to be taken seriously. have you read that Pam is getting ready to deliver? such a weird thing getting to know the two of you through your writing, across so many miles. looking forward to more.

  2. Hey girl...I have been worried about you. You haven't been your usual snarky self lately.

    Though, the photos are a step in the right direction :)

  3. Haha, I love the serial killer pic.

    Rocco as a little tornado - sounds like fun :).

  4. Well, I, for one, love those pictures!

    I hope that the stress lifts soon.

  5. Oh yeah, got distracted by work for a moment...good plan to take Rocco to someone else's house for destructive play time!

  6. i love that in a world of retakes you share pics like those with us LOL. glad you had fun doing it and thianks for making me smile!

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  8. Very funny pics. I almost had fruit smoothie all over my computer with the comment about your nose hairs.
    Hang in there, I hope Christmas doesn't become to overwhelming.

  9. Only Eden would post those pix of herself and I love you for it!

    Hang in, hang out, you are on my mind.


  10. Maybe Santa will bring you a nose hair clipper?

    Hope everything is ok and you and all your boys can have a nice holiday!

  11. I love love LOVE this post! Not an ugly picture in the bunch, either! Sending you SO much love, always!

  12. I love the photos! I do the same thing sometimes but am too chicken to post the results. Sam just wandered over here and started pounding the keyboard in joy at Rocco's picture. He was delighted to see him!

    I'm praying for you and Dave as you go through this big thing. Life has to slow down one day, I keep telling myself that. I love you.


  13. LOL oh how I miss reading your posts...

    Love the pictures...you really made me smile on a day where all I want to do is cry. Hope things go well with Dave. ((hugs))

  14. What the fuck is going on with your chin? It looks like a skin graft in the serial pic! And you're welcome Rocco for the use of my house as your destructive playland. Can't wait to repeat it on Sat (and YES I mean it, that guy could get away with anything flashing those baby blues) x

  15. You are a crack up girl!
    I hope things are less stressful for you this week.

  16. The least happy people I know are those that take themselves the most seriously.

  17. Holy fucking shit.

    I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes and my perineum hurts.

    You're awesomesauce. And I love you. To infinity. And beyond

  18. Adore the photos.

    I guess at least the nose hair means you can tell what direction the wind is coming from and work out if it's likely to rain? :)


  19. I like your "ugly" photos.

  20. I love the pictures, too! :-)

    Sending love today and always...

  21. Hahaha! Nice pics Eden, I love the strange chin and that thing you do with your nose to make it all buttoned up.

    Hope Dave's huge thing resolves happily soon.


  22. love the glasses. say that reminds me, i have a pair somewhere around here that i haven't worn in three years....

  23. You're beautiful despite trying to look ugly. And I really like your top- so fancy! Rocco's such a little stud. Hope things get a little better around there. At least it's summer there because it's cold, snowy and gross here!

  24. Best self-portraits ever.

    And those glasses really make your eyes "pop" (when you are not trying to blow them out of your eye-sockets by holding your breath).

  25. Three cheers for ridiculous photos. Anything to let off steam during this stressful time of year. Even grand canyon serial killer nose shots. Excellent.

  26. This made me laugh.

    You are beautiful.


    Inside and out. Truly.




Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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